bye i love this

Man: Siri, what is 1 trillion to the tenth power? Siri: Calculation. The answer is one zero zero zero zero zero [continuing] Man: *starts beatboxing to the rhythm. Woman 1: *joins in* Woman 2: *starts singing to the rhythm*

This is sO GOOD

never gets old

I could listen to this on loop for hours.

God- beautiful

Let’s talk about leg whump!

- Want an injury that isn’t lethal if left untreated but hurts like hell? Want something non-fatal that will nonetheless incapacitate Whumpee for days or even months to come? Search no more! Leg whump has it all!

- Broken legs! So much fun to torture Whumpee with, as they’re excruciatingly painful and will *not* let you forget about them for even a moment unless you’re seriously numbed out. Usually not serious enough to kill Whumpee, even if left unattended for weeks, it will make every movement from there on out a hassle.

- Wanna run away? With a broken leg? Oh joy! Maybe, *maybe*, depending on the fracture and Whumpee’s determination / pain tolerance, they can still walk on it, but it’s more of a hobble than anything else and it *hurts*.

- Broken bones can still puncture skin and tissue if fractured badly enough, so if you want Whumpee to slowly and miserably bleed out, leg whump has you covered as well.

- Speaking of bleeding out: Shot In The Leg is such a good trope, don’t even get me started. Potentially fatal, it can immediately take out Whumpee as their leg crumbles under them and pain flashes through their entire body. Severed arteries aside, this one is a lovely way of putting your Whumpee in a situation where death from blood loss isn’t immediate, thus giving you the opportunity to let Whumpee suffer for hours without any medical aid available.

- Shock! Listen, I’ve almost passed out once from a sprained ankle. The pain was barely worth mentioning but something inside of me tensed and twisted up so much from the shock of getting hurt and suddenly not being able to walk properly anymore that I couldn’t stand up for over an hour without getting extremely dizzy and seeing spots.

(This can very well include vomiting, passing out, violent shaking, cold sweats, uncontrollable crying and so much more that will leave Whumpee in shambles and humiliated. Shock takes a lot of different forms and they’re all valid, I just want to point out that being immobilised suddenly and violently would definitely be a good reason to go into shock, even with minor injuries.)

- On that note: Sprained ankles! If you want Whumpee to have to be carried around by Caretaker but don’t actually want them to be in grave danger, this is the way to go. Sprained ankles are so good, holy shit. Nasty swelling, bruises, constant discomfort and pain - it’s Whump heaven. Not being able to walk around because of such a “minor” injury would also very likely piss off Whumpee to no end.

(When I sprained my ankle and had to take a break from training for a while, I was already fed up by day two. Also, having to have someone do so much stuff for you can be extremely stressful for someone who already feels like a burden. Self-blame, guilt, anger at themselves for not healing quickly enough, constantly wanting to apologise for being “such a pain” - all of that, without any serious threat to Whumpee, is what Sprained Ankles can do for you!)

- Sprained ankles hurt even when you’re lying down. You laughed and your leg moved? Ow. You sneezed and your foot tensed up? That bitch is gonna be giving you hell for a couple of minutes now. Someone accidentally bumped into it? Whoops, you’re choking down tears before they even had the chance to apologise. Got a cat? Got a cat that likes to lay on your legs or feet? Have fun!

- Leg amputations are very valid but I feel like they deserve their own post, hence they don’t really feature here.

- Just. Whumpee, writhing on the floor because of a fucked up leg or foot while Whumper slowly walks up to them, knowing exactly that Whumpee can’t escape.

- Whumper pushing their heel down on the injury, causing Whumpee to scream in agony. That small, twisted smile on Whumper’s face at having so much power over Whumpee with so little effort.

- Whumper forcing Whumpee to get up, maybe pulling them onto their knees or dragging them up onto their feet with brutal force. Whumpee choking on more screams or whimpers or pleas of mercy as their weight comes down on their broken/shot/twisted/stabbed/sprained leg.

- Caretaker tries to rescue Whumpee, but they didn’t expect Whumpee to be unable to walk. How will they fight off Whumper’s lackeys while carrying Whumpee out? Can they even carry Whumpee? (With some luck Whumpee will be starved and emaciated enough at that point for Caretaker to carry them easily.)

- Caretaker has to put Whumpee down for a moment and Whumpee just. Drops to the floor from the agony. Bloody fingers wrapped around edges of furniture, knocking things off of tables, hoarse whimpers as Caretaker picks them up…

- Not convinced yet? Just think of how much Whump a badly healed leg can cause! Including, but not limited to:  Limping, constant need of painkillers, limited mobility, heightened sensitivity,  a ceaseless reminder of the hell they’ve been through-

- Just… Leg whump 😩👌

It's now safe and warm with some hazelnuts

Robert Pattinson as Neil in TENET (2020).

Son the crazy part is I feel like dogs deadass be understanding when you do this

how to study with a mental illness!!!! aka a guide to simultaneously caring for yourself and your academics

(disclaimer: this is from purely personal experience and is not a substitute for seeking professional help. these are just personal tips as i was formally diagnosed with depression and anxiety in the third year of college, but had been showing symptoms even in high school. different methods help for different people, but i really hope some of these things can help a struggling student out, because one of the reasons i went on studyblr in the first place was that i felt really lost and anxious.)

1. done is better than none. sometimes an assignment you have to turn in would be objectively easy to complete, but it takes longer to do so because you’re afraid that the final product won’t be as good as you want it to be, or as good as a professor expects it to be. it’s hard to remove those expectations, but it is a little easier when you remember that getting some points (no matter how many they are) are better than getting a deduction for late submissions or not turning in the project at all. many people – including myself – suffer from perfectionism in university, but it is overall more important to complete something to the best of your own ability, and learn from the feedback on the project later on. more importantly, often, you’re doing better than you think you’re doing, so surprise yourself. you can do it. just start.  2.  keep careful track of your deadlines.  much of my undergrad anxiety came from the fact that i knew something was due, but couldn’t keep track of it, or didn’t want to confront it. it’s better to confront it because you have more time to do it slowly and thoroughly. as soon as you hear about an impending exam or paper deadline, keep track of it. personally, i use google calendar. from there, you can make smaller plans and break down your goals to make it more doable! 3. don’t be afraid to ask for help.  there used to be a huge stigma against mental illness, but thankfully, many educational institutions are much kinder and more considerate about it. if you really can’t meet a deadline or come to class, let your professor know. most professors are kind, reasonable people who genuinely care about you and your well-being. even one of my scariest professors granted extensions to a girl who was genuinely struggling with serious depression, and the college of law i’m in takes mental health very seriously to the point that they instruct faculty how to deal with such cases.  if you’re not able to talk to a professor, try to ask help from a classmate or a friend who can share notes or fill you in on how they accomplished a certain assignment. many people will be happy to help. you are not a burden, love. 4. be kinder to yourself.  mental illness is like any illness. it often keeps us from doing as well as we’d like to be because it’s a genuine and serious health problem. sometimes it helps to keep this in mind when we flub a report in class (as i did several tens of times in undergrad), get a bad score, say something ridiculous during recitation, or mess up a paper. it’s okay to do your best while you heal. you know you’re trying your best, and slow growth is still growth. 5. on that note, care for your other needs.  one of my happiest and most fulfilled semesters (even though it was my busiest) was when i had time to see a psychiatrist, run, pack lunches and fruit to school to eat healthy, and have a reasonable-ish sleep schedule. this was during my thesis semester. while i had to take an incomplete, and finish my thesis the next sem, because i was attending to my own needs, i felt like a living, breathing, learning, happy person. and i finished my thesis the next semester. it’s better to look after your own physical health and needs before your academics. 6. sometimes, it’s better to do nothing and rest. you deserve it.  part of the reason i’d been doing horribly in law school was that i didn’t sleep and it was making me mildly unbalanced and incredibly suicidal; not to mention the fact that i wasn’t really retaining any information or performing well. rest days are just as important as days when you study because rest IS productivity.  7. take your meds. see your psych or therapist if you have one. avail yourself of mental health services on campus if there are any. these genuinely saved my life at a time that i thought i was beyond saving. please go seek help if you can.  BONUS: MY STUDY SETUP ON A TERRIBLE MENTAL HEALTH DAY (like today) - i try to clear the space and clean up as much as possible. it makes me feel like i have things under control, and have my work things where i can see them. - i eat something healthy, like fruit, and get a lot of water. i keep a water jug on my desk because it clears my thoughts and helps me replenish the fluids lost from crying (1/2jk). it also really keeps up my strength for the study process. - i turn on a calming playlist, like a jazz or lofi or ghibli playlist. in another window, i turn on a rain sound video on a softer volume, and it helps center me. - it helps when you have a soft or calming scent to calm you down. i use a lavender room spray, and it makes me feel cozy and productive, but in undergrad, i used this tea-tree lavender mix and it smelled like sunny afternoons and guitar coffeshop playlists. it really is nice. - there are breathing exercises and gifs all over the internet. they help calm you down when things seem Too Much.  i really hope this helps, guys. don’t hesitate to message me if you’ve been having a hard time with school or life or anything. please, please care for yourselves. you can do it.  – sam

Genius.

These kinds of responses are my FAVORITE. Some examples to answers to this question I have heard:

1.

“Okay, and who’s the president?”

“Obama, no wait, shit *vehemently* fuck, I hate him… what’s his name…”

“It’s okay, you know who he is.”

2.

“Who’s the president?”

“*drunkenly angry and confused* ..uhhhhhhh…Orange… damn it what’s the fuck’s name….

“Yup, good enough.”

3.

“And who’s the president,”

“Not fuckin’ Obama!”

“I feel ya.”

4.

“Who’s the president- wait, nevermind you’re from Korea you said, right? So who’s-“

“Everybody knows that Trump-bitch.”

“Oh, well, alright then.”

5. (My personal favorite)

“Who’s the president?”

“Ew.”

“Good enough.”

My roommate is a neurologist and has to do this check all the time. Her all-time favorite so far has been “ay dios mio” during which the woman was vigorously crossing herself.

lol me too , lady

One time I got “that orange fuck” from a very cute little old lady with urosepsis

I have - quite unintentionally - contributed to this phenomenon.

I was waking up from surgery in the post-op observation room, where they kept people before sending them off to the ICU. The nurse was talking to me as I was semi-awake, telling me that as soon as it was ready, I would be sent to room 2008.

I did not hear the word “room”.

I started trying to sit up and get out of bed (entirely unsuccessfully), shouting (mumbling forcefully), “He’s not president yet! I have to warn everyone!”

That’s awesome. Thank you for trying to warn us

i’ve been looking for this post for ages and it finally crossed my dash again

13 Quick Vegan Meals by Buzzfeed Let me know which one is your favorite!

Tumblr law: Always reblog the queen.

If you don’t have this on your blog at least once, get out.

- a lifeguide for students with anxiety - i’ve been struggling with anxiety for more than a decade. needless to say, i know what it’s like to be in a school system when your mental health isn’t at its best. it’s easy to get discouraged and give up on your studies. i’ve been there as well, but look at me now, i’ve graduated from a bachelor degree, a master degree and i’m even doing a second one. IT-IS-POSSIBLE. if i did it, you can do it as well. so here, i picked some of my best tips that i wish i’d know sooner when i got to higher education, when my mental health failed me. x prioritize i can’t stress this enough. P R I O R I T I Z E all your tasks. it’s easy to be overwhelmed with work, emotions, pressure. so whenever you feel like you’ve got a thousand things to do but don’t know how/where to start : list everything. as soon as you’re done with your list, pick three colours : one for important tasks that need to be done asap one for tasks that you have to do but aren’t a life or death question one for tasks that can wait/less important once it’s done, mark your important tasks with numbers: one for the most important, second for the second most important etc… this method will help you to know what you’ve got to do first and help you organise your brain.

x use the pomodoro method being anxious means procrastinate then worry about procrastination because you’ve got a lot to do but also struggle to focus because your mind is thinking about something else… it’s an endless spiral. the pomodoro method is well-known amongst studyblrs but it is really helpful when you can’t focus. 20 minutes of work, 5 min break, repeat it 4 times then give yourself a bigger break. honestly it worked for me. i go full hardcore mode for 20mn, and i’ve never been more productive. + bonus tips : my mind wanders easily, so i also use an extension that blocks websites (forest is the best!!) it helps me to stay focus.

x when it’s too much, stop it you’ve got to submit an essay, you haven’t got much time left but you can’t work. you can’t work because you’re too anxious, because you’re scared, because you want to give up, because all of this, is getting too much. did that ever happen ? don’t force it, you’re not going to be more productive, trust me on this one. instead of crying your eyes out on this essay, give yourself a break. have a shower, talk to a relative/friend, cook something, go out for 5 minutes, scroll your tumblr timeline, do some breathing exercises, do something else. when you’re feeling a tad better, come back, write down everything that is currently making you anxious and split them in two: what can/can’t be solved. and then write down solutions, even long terms ones. once it’s done, you should feel a bit better, enough to go back to your work.

that’s all for the real real real tips, but here’s some bonus that i do as well: - listen to classical/relaxing playlist - use earplugs when i need to be super focused - always keep a notebook nearby, it’s helpful to write what you’ve got in mind - ask for help. never be scared to reach to someone when you can’t do it anymore, it’s important. - remember to take time for yourself as well, sleep is important, so is staying hydrated.

i know it’s not much but those tips helped me get through my dissertation and honestly i would have done so much better if i had known those lil tips before.

take care, - aly

Moss Graffiti: A How To Guide

are you fucking for real

Imagine being the criminal who returns weekly to make sure his fucking plant art is doing alright

Later

I found it! I fucking found it! In my fucking dash! Nothing can stop me now! *EVIL GIGGLES*

OMG SAME RIGHT I SAW IT A YEAR AGO AND WAS UPSET I COULDNT FIND IT AGAIN

If Members of the Zodiac were Superheroes 💥 (Thanks to @brittneykelly8 for help on this one!)

how to manage your time wisely

Hi all, during the quarantine all of my schedules have mixed up. I feel like I start to procrastinate and multi-task more and lose track of my time management. I make this guide for me and for those of you who face the same problem. Hope this help! ❤️

why are people even questioning obesity in america

why is your tea liquidised?

….. Where exactly do you live that the tea isn’t liquid?!?

ENGLAND. WHERE IT IS IN A BAG AND YOU MAKE IT YOURSELF.

like what do you do with already liquid tea? Microwave it?

No it’s sweet tea you drink it cold

WHO DRINKS COLD TEA???

HAVE YOU NEVER HAD ICED/SWEET TEA BEFORE?!?

so i reblogged this from a british person and i’ve been laughing at their tags for 600 years

England, you stole tea from China.  You’ve had it a mere 4 centuries compared to their 30+.  Don’t play like you’re some kind of authority.

[skeletons ooh-ing]

Shots fired. World War Tea has officially begun.

#INTO THE HARBOR

Englad doesn’t own anything

except that time we owned most of the world

If I stop reblogging this, I’ve gone to the other side.

I have only seen this legendary post in screenshots, so today is a blessed day.

HAH

BOSTON TEA PARTY PART 2

HOLY HELL I FOUND IT

And this is why I love Tumblr

Drinking cold tea is like drinking cold hot chocolate. Sure, you *can* do it, but you *really shouldn’t*

Behold concerned Brit. Chocolate Milk

I only see this on pinterest omg….

OMFG

@riverwriter

BEHOLD THE GREATEST TUMBLR POST

“world war tea” is the best play on words i’ve heard in weeks

this post is a wild ride from start to finish

I haven’t seen this since chocolate milk was added. Is that really just an American thing? You’re missing out guys!

Cold tea

Cold hot chocolate aka chocolate milk

Cold coffee

I mean, do yall even know about cold water or is that an American thing too???

YOU GUYS DRINK COFFEE COLD AS WELL???

As an iced beverage addict, I’m reblogging this in hopes that years later it comes back to me like a boomerang.

the accuracy ☠️☠️☠️

He ain’t lying though! 😂