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hey nerds

@greendaysnipples / greendaysnipples.tumblr.com

"Embrace the void and have the courage to exist" -Daniel Howell
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amomortem
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mostly-funnytwittertweets
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themythicalcodfish

Further Americanisms that tell you to check on your American:

been better = in hell

doin’ alright = sad, needs hug

pretty great! = genuine actual baseline. Anything else ranks beneath this. Be Aware.

I’m here, ain’t I? = Defcon 5

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themythicalcodfish

Because someone asked, indications that an American is actually Having A Good Day include:

  • Awesome
  • Fantastic
  • Damn Good Day
  • Great Day to Be Alive
  • Dude You’re Never Gonna Believe This
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runcibility

"Livin' the Dream!" - actively daydreaming about swandiving into a woodchipper

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rollthatcritical
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vergak
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thecadhatter
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becausegoodheroesdeservekidneys

I used to manage an escape room and the best thing I ever saw was in our Jigsaw room. They start that one handcuffed or footcuffed to separate bits of wall, and they had to tie some lab coats together to lasso a wheeled trolley across the room as their first puzzle.

One day I had a couple come in. When I initially asked who wanted the foot cuff Vs the handcuff, she insists that he gets handcuffed. I chain them up, give them their starter hint that the trolley will be immediately important, leave and go to the office.

Whereupon I watch as the woman turns to the man and says "Gareth, give me your leg."

Gareth bends down, removes his prosthetic leg, and throws it over to her. She drops onto her stomach as far forward as the footcuff allows, grabs her boyfriend's detached foot, and uses it to fish the trolley over.

Greatest solution to that puzzle I ever saw

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itsjustfirealarms
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pyrogothnerd

Can we just talk about how “Goth Anime Legs Uncle” IS A FAMOUS ARTIST AND AUTHOR, BUT HIS NIECE OR NEPHEW NEVER THOUGHT TO BRING THAT UP?! No no no, you have a famous artist/author for an uncle, but screw that, here’s his goth phase.

Think about it: This guy is known on Tumblr for his goth phase, but not his actual freaking work, even though we’re all familiar with his work!

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marypsue

Listen. Look at his body of work. This is not a man who had a goth “’"phase’”’.

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000l

May the last four months of 2023 be the change you’ve been waiting for

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julieterbang

I doubt it but reblog for some luck i guess won hurt anyone

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itsjustfirealarms
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politicalprof

Well, you know, some bathroom graffiti offers insight.

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madfishmonger

Red marker handwriting on a bathroom wall. Text reads:

“Boss made a dollar Granddad made a dime But that was a poem From a simpler time.

Boss made a thousand Gave pa a cent But that penny paid the mortgage Or at least it paid the rent

Now Boss makes a million And gives us jack Smugly blames the workers For the labor that he lacks.”

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a-krogan-skald-and-bearsark

And the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls.

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basilsleaf

i have way too many ongoing projects so i will never write this but i need baz and simon's future told through encounters with simon's construction buddies, it goes like this:

  • most of the guys are older than simon it's like he's got a crew of dads
  • they're all straight dudes so they assume baz is simon's roommate who he's like best friends with until simon forgets his lunch or something and baz brings it to work for him and they smooch hello and goodbye
  • there's an awkward "so are you gay" moment but simon's like "i have a boyfriend and he's great is that a problem" and then it's over, the dad crew is supportive by nature and they adapt quickly
  • now at lunch or when they have drinks after work the guys ask about baz same as they ask about each other's wives and girlfriends and kids and simon feels very included
  • the guys have dinner and drinks every now and then where spouses come along and next time they invite simon to bring baz and baz is like not sure he's going to fit in and he's kind of right but the guys don't really care because simon is obviously smitten with him so what does it matter that baz is all posh
  • fast forward, baz finishes school and they're both nepotism babies so they decide to move to a new place with like a balcony and a guest room and simon tells the guys and they're all hype for him and they come over to help move furniture even though baz and simon can afford movers
  • fast forward, after lots and lots of trauma counseling simon is ready to start thinking about what he wants out of life and he's thinking maybe he wants to start a bakery or a cafe or something so he can be closer to his second and third truest loves: butter and carbs
  • when he's finally ready to open the cafe he announces to the guys that he's leaving and he's nervous that they'll be upset but they like completely lose it, they're so happy for him
  • they take him out for drinks on them, they promise to come in every tuesday for their morning coffee and donuts, they drop him off to baz at 2am on a thursday completely passed out, it's wonderful
  • fast forward, simon opens his business and sure enough, the guys are there every tuesday morning
  • fast forward, one tuesday the guys ask how things are going with baz and simon blushes super hard and pulls out the ring box he's been carrying around in his pocket since he bought it and the guys frighten the other customers with their excitement
  • two tuesdays later the guys come back after the cafe closes to take simon out for celebratory drinks because he finally asked and baz obviously said yes and the guys once again deliver simon home to baz absolutely wasted (with their congratulations)
  • at their wedding it's all insanely rich grimms and various distant pitches and lady ruth's family and also simon's old construction buddies tearing it up on the dance floor
  • fast forward, and life is just good and they have magic friends but also normal friends
  • baz is actually able to bond with them all over football, he even joins their recreational league for a few seasons and they are undefeated champions
  • one of the guys' kids feels safe enough to come out to their dad because simon and baz came over for dinner
  • simon teaches them all how to use tiktok and what a vibe is and encourages a few of them to go to therapy
  • they coach simon through marital arguments and buying a house and how to tell baz he wants kids
  • and maybe being a little normal isn't so bad when he's got a whole team on his side
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kidovna
Favourite scene from Any Way The Wind Blows for Baz’s birthday!

And an extra page of Simon playing with Baz’s hair because this is apparently my new favourite thing:

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letraspal

Our birthdays are just the celebration of all the years that came before and the welcoming of a new one. Happy Birthday Baz Pitch!

(And happy birthday to the woman who brought him to us, @rainbowrowell)
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