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Bag End Tea Party

@that-pissed-off-tolkien-blogger / that-pissed-off-tolkien-blogger.tumblr.com

Ammy (they/them 27) (I don't identify as human, I identify as a problem especially for the SoM/SoW fandom) Complete and utter Tolkien trash. The Ancalagon Express has left the station! Purchase your ticket now for unlimited Tolkien fun and occasional side trips in the lands of Arsenal, wwe, and anti-trumpness!
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To Piss Off an Elven-wraith

Summary: Talion makes a split second decision to piss of Celebrimbor after the elf hits one of his sore spots. What happens is not what he had planned...

Pairing: Talion/Shelob, slight Talion/Ratbag in a single line

Warnings: smut, spiders, zoophilia (?), choking kink (sort of), Celebrimbor, character death

#if you hate me then guess what join the club i'm the president your annual membership fee is due next thursday#talion#shelob#shelob x talion#shadow of war#shadow of war fanfic#smut fic#snuff fic#celebrimbor#tolkien#i refuse to edit this because that would require rereading it and that is something i DO NOT wish to do#i don't know what else to tag this#i've written hundreds of chapters of fanfic and yet THIS monstrosity is the first fic i ever post? well fuck#my writing#fanfic#lmk if y'all need anything added to the tags#including another existential crisis
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that-pissed-off-tolkien-blogger

Even though I shouldn't be, I'm plotting out a Pacific Rim fanfic and something about Gottlieb's math on the frequency of the attacks bugged the fuck out of me. I just spent way too much time creating a more accurate timeline of every single kaiju attack. Also, nothing in the math indicates a double event, so I'm gonna have to figure out a valid reason for it to occur or it's gonna bug the ever loving fuck out of me.

Is my math perfect? No. Is it better than the movie's math? Yes. Sorry, Hermann.

All of this because I wanted werewolves and a Werewolf Jaeger in PR wtffff

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that-pissed-off-tolkien-blogger

Okay. So, I came up with two different possibilities for better math for the Kaiju attacks. I will be posting both bc fuck canon and other fic writers shouldn't have to do the math. One makes slightly more sense than the other, in my opinion, but both make far more sense than the movie's math and timeline.

I'll post both once I've had a chance to clean things up from my scratch. Sadly, I need to get some homework done before that can occur.

#TOLK Man rambles#pacific rim#not tolkien#im so behind on my homework from being down and out with food poisoning
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Even though I shouldn't be, I'm plotting out a Pacific Rim fanfic and something about Gottlieb's math on the frequency of the attacks bugged the fuck out of me. I just spent way too much time creating a more accurate timeline of every single kaiju attack. Also, nothing in the math indicates a double event, so I'm gonna have to figure out a valid reason for it to occur or it's gonna bug the ever loving fuck out of me.

Is my math perfect? No. Is it better than the movie's math? Yes. Sorry, Hermann.

All of this because I wanted werewolves and a Werewolf Jaeger in PR wtffff

#TOLK Man rambles#pacific rim#there will be chaleigh#with a plus one who will not be Mako#possibly some hot dads but i havent decided if Herc and Stacks will be a thing#haven't decided any other ships yet#also chuck is gonna live fuck canon it dies like Yancy Becket#not tolkien
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westdaddiiiiisblog asked:

Hey beautiful I am sorry if this offends you but I find you really attractive and I’d like you to be my sugar baby just letting you know my intentions incase you will be interested... we could talk terms and weekly allowance later .... just basically paying for your time. dm me if you’re interested ❤️❤️

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Men disgust me.

#TOLK Man answers#not fandom#gods fuck people with tits can't fucking exist in any space in peace can we?#fuck men
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haleths
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orlandobloom

That’s the only place in all the lands we’ve ever heard of that we don’t want to see any closer; and that’s the one place we’re trying to get to! And that’s just where we can’t get, nohow.

#lotr
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Nooooooooooo of all the things to not transfer over to my new phone why did the picture of Ratbag I used for my screen saver have to be one of them?????

Yes I can do it manually but like that means more time I am without his precious face!! THE TRAGEDY

#TOLL Man talks#ratbag the coward#also i switched from apple to android and my only complaint is that the new phone is literally huge comparative to my iphone mini#AND MY LITTLE RACCOON HANDS CANT HOLD IT SOLO BOTH HANDS MUST ALWAYS BE ENGAGED I AM RAGE#it hurty my handsies
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