tell them stories

what mouse walks on two legs

mickey

okay, what duck walks on two legs?

donald

no, all of them.

this is the last time you make a fool of me in my own house god damnit

stop rping with ghatgpt. you should be rping with a bisexual internet woman u have a relationship that constantly straddles the line between platonic and sexual with. tyou're ruining the ecosystem

Has this been done yet

this is my 9/11 i’m so serious do not text me unless you’re sending condolences

zoomers i am going to give you some fathrly advice: really plucked brows are coming back. dont do it. you cn permanently fuck them up and in 5 yrs when its not on trend you will look like shit. a groomed natural brow works in every era of fashion theres lots of ways to comb and style brows to trend without mangling them. im just saying this as someone who saw what happened to 80s moms who went crazy wth the tweezers

they just eyebrows u won’t die shave them off zoomers pluck them all out and then get tattooed eyebrows it doesn’t matter . u won’t look like shit if u don’t have eyebrows op is a hater

this is the devil ^ this is the devil speaking. many will come to you with honey in their mouths and comforting words but they whisper falsehoods. do not be deceived for he is the father of lies. you have been told he would come in the form of man and he is already here among us.

Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn  The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003)

#the burgundy pajama shirt + evenstar necklace + curtain bangs combo did so much for cinema everywhere

Gay people can never just have sex, instead they stopped mid-nut AND mid hallucination of a foursome with his therapist, ex co-worker, and his therapist's current patient to have a second, worse hallucination of an eldritch horror stag man that resembles his therapist in the corner of his room, and then bust.

I didn't even change the order of the screenshots this is exactly how it is in the show

#did we mention the therapist's current patient is a lesbian #who just wants to get pregnant?

I understand why people who don't go here think we're lying now

parallels <3

DIEGO LUNA as CASSIAN ANDOR Andor | 1.11 Daughter of Ferrix

Colin Farrell as Douglas Quaid Total Recall (2012) dir. Len Wiseman

the original got deleted but i finally managed to find a screenshot of the tweet that’s been living in my mind since july of last year

Every single response I see @neil-gaiman give on this hellsite has the exact same energy as an extremely tired king of a tiny medieval country, pinching the bridge of his nose as he once more decides which peasant the pumpkin TRULY belongs to

lets have phone sex over walkie talkies

“bend over” “bend what? over”

I hate this place

this is your reminder to give Shadowheart all the pretty armor