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Swiggity Swooty

@agaytha

INFP and an Aries I identify as asexual homoromantic you can call me Joe I love Steven Universe and Pokemon I own charmander-propaganda
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arvanitish

This is hands down the best tik tok ever made.

mAM dOES yOUR hUSBAND HAVE NIPPLES

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drferox

A universal experience.

[Transcription: all speech in the video is auto-tuned]

Story time: I’m a vet tech and one time I was [???] this lady for an appointment with her little dog who was covered in bugs

I searched this dog high and low for bugs, couldn’t find a single one

I said ma’am can you please point out these bugs to me

She said oh my gosh can’t you see them they’re right on his belly

She showed me her dog’s nipples and proceeded to try to rip them off

I said ma’am no stop

Those are his nipples

She said

There’s no way, he’s a boy

I said ma’am that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have nipples

Those are definitely his nipples, notice how they’re so symmetrical

She said no way, he’s a boy I said

Ma’am doesn’t your husband have nipples

I add vet tech storytime….lady brings in a kitten, terribly concerned he’s got a cold or asthma or something…he’s always making this alarming sound in his chest but he’s so active and affectionate and loves to snuggle. Neither her or her husband have ever had a cat before, so she just wants to make sure they get everything right and take good care of their newest family member.

I pet the kitten as I give this lady pamphlets and a personalized Cat Owner 101 lesson.

The kitten is leaving a great time, nearly comatose with happy in my lapm

She goes “That’s it!! That’s the sound!! What’s wrong with him?! If there’s anything we can do, we’ll do it! He’s my son’s best friend, we love him!”

I stare at her helplessly, fighting every impulse because this woman is so genuine in her love and concern for this, the first cat her family has ever experienced.

“Ma'am,” I say, so, SO gently.

“Ma'am, he’s purring. It means you’re making him happy.”

the video was sO FUNNY and then the last reply melted my entire heart

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ducktracy

you can tell the writers had a lot of fun on this episode there are so many good and iconic gags i couldn’t upload them all at once and decided to compile them together

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justintaco
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