I'm fucking exhausted

stop saying you're ugly stop saying you're stupid stop saying you're worthless just stop. stop cursing yourself. stop turning the rotten hatred that doesn't belong to your true essence into the physical act of speaking. don't materialize it. don't naturalize it. no person was born to hate themselves and no person deserves to hear that they are worthless from the one person who needs to care for them the most. don't speak of yourself in a way you wouldn't let someone else speak of your best friend. don't normalize it. it will never be true no matter how many times you claim it. you will never make yourself believe it so you can be at peace with it. you will never trust yourself if you keep lying like that. stop trying to turn the hate into truth. it will never happen. stop rotting your lips with curses. fight the impulse back with what you really know from birth, and that is love. you will never make it right by attempting to destroy yourself because you will never believe this cause. your only weapon is overwhelming yourself with love because that is what was born with you and love will follow you to the grave. stop cursing yourself

sometimes depression is so scary because you stop being able to achieve any sense of fulfilment. a huge part of being human is looking forward to things and having treats, goals, rewards, outcomes that you strive towards. if you don’t have those things it can be really, really hard to find any sense of purpose. having depression is asking yourself what do i want to eat, what do i want to watch, what do i want to play, what do i want to listen to, what do i want to do, what am i looking forward to, what’s driving me to keep going, and having the answer be a resounding ‘nothing’

Ever since I was a little girl I always knew I wanted to commit suicide

how many versions of me (repeated) are there?

When will everything stop feeling so overwhelming?

my favorite conspiracy theory is that they regret what they did to me

professionally diagnosed with people treated me like absolute shit so now I'm mentally fucked for life disorder

i feel like someone dead pretending to be alive

time is going too fast and I can’t keep up. the month seems to go by in a blink but the days are long. one day you wake up and realize a full month has passed, and you have nothing. you don’t have many memories, you don’t have the potential to do anything, and you don’t have many reasons to be here anymore.