“To have such a daughter… useless, plain, and godless. What do I do?“ 

 “You know I think ugly girls should be strangled at birth by their parents. It’s bad enough being born a girl, but being born ugly and clever…There has to be something I’m good at.”

Of course, I lived well and had servants. But this did not mean I didn’t always contribute to the running of the house myself. If I have a hobby, my home has always been it. I remember being seen by fans putting out my garbage cans at Laguna Beach one day — and asked by one of them if Bette Davis was inside the house. The legend persists. A movie star is not quite a human being. While I deeply appreciate approbation of my work by fans, I always feel inadequate to the awe manifested by some. I want to say, I’m a human being just like you. Is it any wonder that many stars come to believe they are divinities?

• Barton: You could fight Barton. He was pissed all the time anyway. Plus he was first so people will know who you’re talking about, but none of them will know enough to get angry at you for it.
• Deakin: He’ll come back like three times. You will get to walk past everything named after him like “Ha, kicked the shit out of him” though.
• Watson: He was PM for four months, why would you bother
• Reid: You could just roll him over, but be warned: he’ll have a Cutting Remark about it.
• Cook: I don’t know shit about Cook and neither do you.
• Fisher: See Deakin, but without the name recognition. 
• Hughes: DO IT. FIGHT HUGHES. He’s evil, tiny, and the whole ALP will help you.
• Bruce: Just look at that smug little union-busting prick. You can take him.
• Scullin: Dude had two splits in his party at once in two different directions. Why would you make his life worse?
• Lyons: Don’t fight Lyons. He might die, and then Sir Earle Page and Dame Enid would kick your ass.
• Page: Yeah, fight Page, I don’t think he’ll mind, just leave Lyons alone and it’ll be cool.
• Curtin: Beloved national hero who led this nation through World War Two while struggling with alcoholism before dying in office. Do you want the whole country to hate you?
• Forde: 8 days. Why?
• Chifley: Dude made a referendum in Australia pass. Don’t mess with him.
• Menzies: The entire Liberal party will come after you. Don’t. 
• Holt: Have fun fighting underwater.
• McEwen: DO NOT FIGHT MCEWEN. Don’t be fooled by his being interim PM for like a month. He single-handedly stopped Holt’s obvious successor succeeding him. He created the protectionist policies for rural Australia for decades through sheer force of personality. DON’T FIGHT MCEWEN.
• Gorton: He survived crashing his jet, having his face torn to shreds and being left for dead in the middle of the Pacific. He’s a tenacious bugger. But just put Fraser in the room and he’ll be too consumed with rage to even notice you.
• McMahon: You could take McMahon. Anyone could take McMahon. You won’t be proving anything.
• Whitlam: Too bloody tall, also the entire Australian left will come after you in revenge.
• Fraser: He might not look tough and have that snooty voice, but dude was like 6′4″ and destroyed two Prime Ministers. Don’t take the risk.
• Hawke: You could fight Hawke. I mean you’d lose, but he’d definitely buy you a beer afterward. You’d also lose the subsequent drinking contest though.
• Keating: DON’T FIGHT KEATING. DO NOT FIGHT KEATING. I don’t care how skinny he is, he will play dirty, destroy you will psychological warfare, ‘do you slowly’ and probably come up with some insult people will still be quoting three decades later.
• Howard: Do it. Fight Howard. Tiny, evil, whole left will help (also Peter Costello).
• Rudd: Seems like an easy win until he devotes the rest of his life to destroying yours. Don’t fight Rudd.
• Gillard: Woman is tough. Best avoided.
• Abbott: Like, I wanna see Abbott get punched as much as anyone, but he was a prize-winning boxer. Let the Liberal caucus do it instead.
• Turnbull: Give it a go. Fucker’s gotta be bad at something, right?

Lets not let it beat us.