Bi Simp

tw/cw; reader is described as plus size/chubby/curvy, afab!f!reader, perv!könig, lactation kink, thigh job. 18+

“you’re so damn gorgeous, are you teasing me, ja?” könig scoffs playfully, his touch perverted, groping your curves with admiring you.

there's something so addictive about the size of your breasts, the softness of your body, and the flesh and fat around your hips creating stretch marks down your thighs. he wouldn't dare think about rejecting an offer to thigh fuck you, almost embarrassingly eager to be intimate with you.

you're not in a relationship, simply just best friends. although you're not oblivious to his creepy stares and how touchy-feely he is. at the sound of your offer, he begins to unfasten his belt rapidly, his eyes wide and fixated on you. you lean back on his bed, watching as könig excitedly begins to undress you until you're bare and exposed to him. his hands latch onto your breasts with his lips wrapped around your nipples, feeling as they stiffen against his tongue.

könig makes no effort to put himself inside of you. he's too eager for that sweet, sweet release that instead of taking the time to prepare you, he grinds against you instead. he rubs his hard boner against your thighs before sliding his dick between them, rocking his hips back and forth at the stimulation against his sensitive tip while suckling on your nipples.

“fuck, you’re too good to me, mein herz.” he huffs out gutturally m through heavy, deep breaths and groans. könig pulls away from your nipple, gazing down at you before deciding that it would be a better decision to thigh fuck you in front of a mirror, so he can play and toy with your nipples while thrusting between your soft, comfortable thighs.

the sight of your reflection has könig breathless. he rocks his broad and sturdy hips back and forth, leaving hickeys on your bare nape while rolling his calloused thumb over your hardened buds. he digs his teeth into your skin as he inches closer to his orgasm. the head of his bulbous, swollen cock weeps out beads of his arousal, smeared across your soft skin.

he'll leave love bites along your gorgeous body, taking in the beautiful sight of your thighs covered in his creamy load.

I'm just imagining being a double agent sent to infiltrate the 141 and kill Ghost, except you're smarter than all the men who've tried. You know brute force won't get you where you need to be, so instead you pretend to be a sweet little medic who's got a crush on him.

And when he finally takes you to bed, and you've got him underneath you, you pull out a pocket knife and press it to his jugular.

And he just cums. Hard.

He's not phased in the slightest, even when his orgasm finally ends and theres a little blood trickling down his neck. He just chuckles up at you, seemingly taking your confusion for awe.

"Could've just told me yer into that kinky shit, Love."

being called simon's work wife by johnny is all fun and games til you start spotting the man you've never formally met in the corner of your eye.

imagine being told by a pig-headed superior to make yourself useful and go get him some coffee only to immediately start apologizing, words spilling out of his pathetic mouth like water because your johnny-proclaimed husband's looming right behind you in guard dog mode.

you mumble out a thank you, even though you're not sure what for and he just tugs your name tag.

no one talks to my wife like that.

(forget about trying to clarify that it's work wife, he's got selective hearing.)

i think it's cute til it's not. til you're at a bar, drunk, and he shows up and takes you home. you wake up in a bed that smells of gunpowder and carbolic soap, in a shirt 3x your size and a pair of oversized sweats. when you check your phone, your friend's text reads, your husband is a scary man.

(there's a fucking ring on your finger, too.)

Ghost having “a girl back home” but it’s just a girl he’s been stalking 🙄

A strange alien doctor stands near the unconscious body of Padme Amidala. “It appears she has lost the will to live.” A older man with a limp hobbles closer with the aid of a cane. “That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard,” says Dr. Gregory House.

-Keeps Padme on life support despite DNR, somehow this ends in him getting punched by Obi-Wan

-Immediately starts putting her on every treatment known to man

-Walks over to Wilson’s office, which is the only part of the entire ship that just looks the same as it does in the show

-Homoerotically complains about how stupid Jedi are, then makes a bet with Wilson on whether Obi Wan is gay or the father of Padme’s twins (Wilson wants House to believe people can be faithful)

-Padme almost dies again. Turns out the treatment’s not working

-“if the dark side nearly killed her, maybe it can save her”

-House uses force lightning to restart Padme’s heart

-Gets brought into Cuddy’s office and told off for using an experimental treatment, and the power of the dark side, in her hospital

-House is taken off the case and foreman is put in charge of the case

-Padme is unexpectedly doing better, but Cuddy refuses to tell House or else he’ll be using the dark side to save all his patients

-House watches on as Wilson tries seducing a relieved Obi Wan while he paces in the lobby. Doesn’t seem to work

-House interrogates Obi Wan about his relationship with Padme, insinuates it’s Obi Wans Fault. Gets in a struggle and once theyre seperated it’s revealed he ripped out some beard hair

-Padme is getting released from the hospital but crashes again with obvious signs of infection. Everyone blames the dark side of the force

-is put in intensive care again, everyone thinks she’s going to die, House is brooding.

-House meets Bail Organa and talks to him, Bail mentions how he was so worried about her the last time she was in a hospital, and this seems much more hopeless

-“what time she was in the hospital?”

-House marches in as they’re about to pull the plug, rolling Padme’s unconcious body over to point at dark spot on the back of her neck

-Foreman looks disapointed, “it’s a bruise house, her husband nearly snapped her neck.”

-“Our princess’ boyfriend here failed to mentioned she was scratched by a Nexu on Genosis years ago. Nexu claws are known as a vicious poison.”

-“it would have killed her years ago”

-“unless a small chunk of claw stuck in her back, working into the muscles near the nape of her neck for years. The little prince of Darkness chokes her, pressure and muscles spasming lets it work into a blood vessel. It’s why the force lightning only was a bandaid, it vaporized what was in her bloodstream but broke up the rest of the claw and let it enter in her bloodstream. Start her on dialysis, she’ll be fine by tomorrow afternoon.”

-Next day Padme’s wheeled out of the hospital with her two children, bittersweetness. House watches from balcony before going back to his office

-Wilson enters with his shirt unbuttoned and a few bruises on his neck, declaring, “the Jedi is gay. I win.”

-House holds up a paternity test, “he’s bisexual, it’s a draw”

@exteenpopstar

#love the implication that house is force sensitive and decided to become a dark side user for medical malpractice reasons (via @gravity-loves-me)

I’m HOWLING this is the funniest thing I’ve ever read

Reader: *Finally snapping after years of mental abuse, losing all kinds of self conservation instinct, smashing someone's head with a rock.*

Ghost, just as mentally fucked and with even less conservation instinct: Yeah, I could fix her.

I just think they could work perfectly fine, with like no angst at any given moment and just perfectly healthy and not self sabotaging from any of them. Hehe

I'm drawing these guys now-

PEDRO PASCAL 30th Annual Screen Actors Guild Awards (February 24, 2024)

Soap x reader in a ‘how to lose a guy in 10 days’ situation except Soap thinks it’s super fucking hot and when you try to dump him he does the same shit you did except in reverse.

Example: Forcing him to buy you flowers and then sobbing when they die and now that you’re pulling away he says “I’ll leave when the flowers die” but he just keeps fucking buying the same bouquet and replacing it every few days and you think you’re going insane.

OR

You moved a ton of your shit into his place after like two days and now he keeps making up excuses to come over so he can leave things at your place.

I need this

Our King // Nuestro Rey 💛

my instagram | my shop

könig is a rough dom, argue with the wall 💯🎀

i know a lot of people headcannon könig to be a soft dom, or submissive due to his size. some people think he'd rather you be in control rather than himself because he might lose himself and become all rough and aggressive... but, i think he's purposely rough. i think he's into pain play.

he loves to twist and tug on your nipples. nipple clamps and pulling on them. it gets him so, so hard at the sight of your shocked and pained facial expressions, with tears rolling down your tearstained cheeks.

“you are such a filthy thing, mäuschen...” his hand collides with your cheek, the other pulling your hips and rocking them to the rhythm of his thrusts.

“you cry so much, yet take it all so well. you enjoy getting slapped, hit? ja--of course you do, taube...”

könig is fast and harsh with his thrusts; balls smacking against your cunt when he's fucking your tight asshole, with your mouth taped and moans stifled and muffled.

he's most definitely into bondage, probably latex too. of course, he's in the military, he knows how to tie you up so that you're not wriggling another the place constantly. just so he can fuck into your glossy folds ‘til they're puffy and swollen and bloody from his fast and hard thrusts.

könig would probably be into fear play as well. he'd love to roleplay interrogation, to put the muzzle of a handgun against your temple and fuck into your hole while demanding answers. the gun isn't loaded, obviously. he wouldn't dare risk his lover's life just for some sex... he just likes to threaten you, to see the fear as you're forced to ride him and work your hips down onto his fat dick while he leans back and watches as you do all the work.

or even putting the gun on the back of your head as you suck him off obediently and shakily.

knife kink? he has it. eating you out and placing the sharp blade against your thigh, slowly dragging it up, enough to threaten you and keep you still.

stop wiggling, mausi... otherwise you'll have a cut along your thigh from being disobedient.

he loves humilation and degrading. he has you sad and whiney, sobbing for him to be gentle, which gives könig to opportunity to fuck into your hole, soothing and easing the pain and throb between your soft thighs, while wiping away the tears that ruin your pretty cheeks. :3

THE BOYS Season 4 Official Teaser Trailer

salute. so help me god.

Now this is what I will think about every time I'm applying lotion or body cream.......

To prevent the prince from falling in love with a commoner, a decision was made to keep him away from all women until he reached the age to meet his betrothed. However, one day before meeting her, he escaped with an unexpected companion.

Dean: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.

Y/n: Wow. They sound stupid.

Dean: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.

Y/n: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… “Hey! I love you!”

Dean: I guess you’re right. Hey Y/n, I love you.

Y/n: See! Just say that!

Dean: Holy fucking shit.

Y/n: If that flies over their head then, sorry Dean, but they're too dumb for you.

Dean: Y/n.

When reading Dark-Romance, and they describe the male character's eyes as "turning dark" or "turning black" right before he ruins the female and or male lead in the story, and you wonder what the fuck they mean?

They mean this mother fucker. He invented the shit. This guy right 👏 fucking 👏 here 👏 👇