Avatar

If You Shout into the Void the Void Shouts Also into You

@ekho-ekho-ekho / ekho-ekho-ekho.tumblr.com

I like to yell in the tags don't worry 'bout it.
Avatar
reblogged

I only learned recently that people from Not America don’t specify hard cider and instead it’s just cider.

I know this is a small difference but it is surprisingly one I do sometimes have to lie down on the floor about.

I don’t like apple juice but I do like cider and every time I’ve said that around a person from English speaking Not America there’s a chance they might’ve thought I was talking about an alcoholic beverage but I was not.

The tiny tiny things that lead to tiny tiny false assumptions. They are everywhere. I can’t escape them. I need to lie down.

Basically unfiltered and very cloudy apple juice. Can be served hot or cold. When Americans talk about alcoholic apple beverage we say Hard Cider because to us cider is a sweet unfiltered fall beverage fun for the whole family.

Our international reputation must be even worse than I thought if people have just assumed that we’re giving children alcohol

ID: The first image is a post reply from queerasaurus-rexx: wait… what do americans think cider is? The second image is a screenshot of tags that read: #OH- #I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WERE JUST GIVING YOUR KIDS ALCOHOL #I mean to be fair it’s not that strange of an assumption- (End ID)

I mean, European children do very much drink hard cider. But more importantly, you can’t actually buy soft cider-equivalent beverages in the UK or in the European countries I’m most familiar with.

The comments imply that “cloudy apple juice” is the equivalent, but this is not cider. In the notes people are posting comparison pictures where both drinks look like this and the only difference is the presence or absence of bubbles. It’s literally just pictures of cloudy apple juice! Cloudy apple juice is abundant and not cider.

The cider I miss is dark brown and syrupy. It leaves sediment at the bottom of the jug. It doesn’t need to be mulled because it already tastes mulled. It isn’t juice and lots of kids don’t even like it because it’s a little strange. Sometimes it’s served hot with caramel and a cinnamon stick. And I can’t have any, because it isn’t fuckign cloudy apple juice, so, you know, thanks for that.

Avatar
aredlily

This is apple cider to a New Englander. It's hard to describe the taste of you haven't had it, but it's not just "unfiltered apple juice". Someone in the comments mentioned sparkling cider, and although they're right about it being a celebratory drink (my family gives it to kids in wine glasses at holiday meals so they don't feel left out of the fancy glass party) it is not the same thing as this.

This is the kind that you heat up and put mulling spices in, if you are so inclined.

Exactly, it’s oxidised (brown, like apple flesh turns when you expose it to air.) it’s slightly fermented-ish (the wild yeasts on the apple’s skin weren’t INSTANTLY MURDERED, so there’s almost a spicy/vinegar/prickly tang.) it contains sediment, like mother-of-apple-cider-vinegar, and is thick and syrupy. It isn’t cloudy so much as opaque.

Saying to the world that cider is “just cloudy apple juice” is like if I told Americans, “oh yeah, British people like brown sauce, but it’s really just Worcestershire sauce. Isn’t it cute and stupid and remedial of them to call it ‘brown’ sauce because it’s brown?” And the 10k notes are people going “lmao British people, can’t cook and all their names are baby talk” with a few lone Brits crying out that ACTUALLY THAT ISNT TRUE AT ALL, THEYRE VERY DIFFERENT, WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE IS A SALTY THIN FLAVORING FOR COTTAGE PIE AND BROWN SAUCE IS A THICK VINEGAR KETCHUP FOR FRY-UPS!!! STOP SAYING THIS, IT ISNT TRUE -

Anyway that would just be mildly annoying EXCEPT that I have had a moment of precognition in which some kindly friend, thinking they are bringing me a great gift and a treasured favor, will now visit me in the UK having brought (and ferried at great expense) a bottle of fucking apple juice I regularly buy at Tesco, pictured above, with the delighted expectation of me welcoming the treat of real American cider. I can picture it and it’s breaking my heart.

Avatar
whitmerule

Australian who lived in Canada for a few years, here to help!

Okay, first of all, it's not America we're talking about but North America. So, Canada too.

Secondly, not 'cloudy apple juice' but literally 'pressed/crushed apples'. Barely filtered if at all. You can literally go to farms in season and get massive vats of their apples which have just been. crushed. and, as @elodieunderglass says, not sterilised in any way, SO.

Thirdly: I made cider out of the cider. A friend and I got a bunch of fermentation equipment and did several experiments with farm-cider, cloudy apple juice from a shop, and filtered apple juice, with five different types of wine or cider yeast.

The absolutely best results (in terms of flavour AND alcohol content) were. The farm cider with no extra yeast, just the natural yeasts present on the apple skin. In the other brews made from the same crushed apples, the wild yeast won out in the end over the commercial yeast, but because they had that fight to win they didn't have so much time to develop and ferment, so the flavour wasn't so developed as in the [hard] cider with no commercial yeast.

Make of that what you will.

Avatar
torrilin

Note: the thing where soft cider makes good hard cider? That’s why soft cider is a thing.

You also can’t get soft cider everywhere in the US. In a lot of areas it’s only available direct from orchards that do enough apple processing that they have cider equipment. And soft cider is not shelf stable, and it cannot be made stable. It will start fermenting into hard cider within a few days, so it’s super perishable if you want it as itself. And it tastes different from different farms.

I miss it, but I’ve had over 15 years to get used to not having it.

Pennsylvania has a LOT of apple orchards, and also, a lot of apple cider! You can make it shelf stable by pasteurizing it, but that kills a lot of the flavor. And most people who have had it fresh much prefer it unpasteurized. But in Pennsylvania, it is illegal to sell an unpasteurized beverage.

So what they do is, all the orchards will have roadside stands with cider made fresh that day ... which they do not sell.

Instead, they sell jugs! ... which happen to contain cider. And while this is a transparent ploy, no cop or government official would ever dream of trying to nail them for it, because then they wouldn't be able to buy cider.

Pennsylvania 🤝 New York

(Having absolutely fucking fantastic apple cider)

Avatar
ehentalix

I'm from Ontario and having made (soft) cider I can confirm it's literally just crushing apples and zero other process. If you're lucky enough to be near an apple farm with old equipment, you can make it the exact same way they did back in Olden Times: you stick a bunch of apples into the hopper of what's essentially a large meat grinder, turn the crank, and collect the cider. It's best after a couple of days, right before it hits the proper fermentation stage, but you can drink it right away and it's still pretty good.

Jumpscared by seeing my Tesco apple juice from 2 years ago!

Avatar
Avatar
legitimately

need a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars cash

Avatar
neon-slime

reblog to give a mutual a full body massage a margarita 400mg of ibuprofen a plate of brownies at least an hour in a jacuzzi and 20,000 dollars in cash

Avatar
jadyn2303

Oh my God please this day has been a fucking doozy

Avatar
reblogged

Okay, Tumblr.

Why do YOU listen to music?

reblog for bigger sample size; elaborate in the tags if you wish

shameless self-reblog for the night crowd.

also, please assume dash-marks indicate "and/or." I wanted to clarify several of these better, but polls have character limits. just know #1 isn't asking if you are currently a professional musician studying your art; it's asking "are you now or have you ever been a musician / OR a student of music / OR do you analyze the music itself while listening to it / OR all of the above?"

yet another self-rb; I'm genuinely curious about this.

LESS THAN THREE DAYS LEFT LET'S GOOOOOOOO

Avatar

since mrs, ms, and mr are all descended from the latin word magister, i propose the gender neutral version should be mg, short for "mage"

some people think this is a shitpost so i want to clarify that i am dead fucking serious. make mage the official gender neutral honorific NOW. i want it on my passport. i want it on my bank account. i want doctors and judges to use it for me. i don't care if it sounds a little silly. people thought "missus" sounded crass at first. call me mg.

benefits of mg:

  • easy to pronounce, even for children (though kids 4 & younger may pronounce it more like "mayd" or "maygh")
  • ONE SYLLABLE!!! ("individual" is too goddamn LONG.) you have to be able to say it quickly and casually
  • ends in a soft vowel sound, so it'll flow right into the next word ("ind" halts the whole sentence)
  • fits neatly into the existing structure as a relative of master/mistress that can be abbreviated down to an m and one other letter
  • distinct enough that it can't be mistaken for either gendered term (if you call me mix I'll kill you. it sounds like miss with extra steps)
  • wizard.

drawbacks:

  • there aren't any
  • yes, i know about milligrams and magnesium. i don't give a shit. ms can also mean microsoft. who cares.
Avatar
reblogged

Map of the Northeast of the US and Southeast of Canada with the good parts highlighted in Blue

Do you just like the Mackinac Bridge or something? What's special up there?

Mackinac Island banned Cars <3<3<3

Avatar
bacony-cakes

i see you haven't highlighted lake superior in blue. lock your everything.

Lake superior was already blue, it was already perfect, I thought that was obvious

Avatar

My unemployed mommy dom texting me at work: grrr mommy needs kitten rn 😈

Me, on my fifth smoke break in an hour: I need you to actually kill me during sex this time please

I’ve been watching people tag this with fictional characters for months and I based this off an actual relationship I had with a woman

We had matching necklaces that were vials of each others blood

Avatar
Avatar
rustybuckett

You guys missed the best part

Y'all missed the best part: HER REACTION AFTER ALL THIS

They’re in CHURCH WITH THIS LMAO

I know this is my own post, but every single time this comes across my dash I am delighted. Every single time, I re-watch the video and laugh, and then scroll down and laugh more. What a truly excellent reblog chain.

Avatar
reblogged
Avatar
ariaste

louis was like "this is the love of my life...... the vampire armand....."

and I was like "girl...... you're both bottoms...... traumatized bottoms with daddy issues....... where are ur shitty boyfriends??????"

louis and armand out here having the world's most boring pathetic sex, they're like "we're so healthy, we have grown past our shitty-boyfriend-having phase, now we're always Safe Sane And Consensual 😌 we don't have unhinged sex anymore 😌😌😌" they are going insane. this is why louis is having a mental breakdown. he's been having intensely hinged sex for 77 years, like 100% slow lovemaking with clear communication and so much lube and always "one finger, two finger, three finger, cock" and the traffic-light consent system in place even though they don't practice any kinks that would involve words like "stop" and "hang on a sec" meaning anything but literally that. no one in this house has been rimmed in 77 years. Every night they have a very polite Discussion (it's not an argument, it's not) about whose turn it is to top because nobody here wants to. louis is not built to handle this psychologically. lestat's going to text him "hey mon cher miss u sooooo much i can't live without you, haha i got your number by killing some people at your phone company, actually several phone companies because i didn't know which network you're on, anyway come over and sit on my face WINK WINK i'll do that thing you like so much, you know the one!! the one where you're always like 'ew lestat you're so gross' but then it makes you come so hard you pass out [eggplant emoji, eggplant emoji, water drops emoji, blood drop emoji]" louis is going to see these texts and go into a fugue state and be OUT! THAT! DOOR! in nanoseconds. NANOSECONDS!!!! meanwhile lestat is double- and triple- and quadruple-texting about how he's always wanted to try roadhead and blithely using words like "pussy" in reference to louis' anatomy without asking if that's cool and also sending seven unsolicited dick pics clearly taken in an airplane bathroom

armand has never sent a dick pic in his life, even a solicited one, because it's "crass" and there are "privacy concerns" and he's "unsatisfied with the current standard of end-to-end encryption technology". lestat doesn't even know what end-to-end encryption is, and if he did he wouldn't care about it because "if a hacker is going to all that trouble to look at my nude photographs, louis, i think they've earned them :))) even though they could just follow me on instagram and tiktok or sign up for my onlyfans" this is why armand about to get dumped at terminal velocity. he doesn't even have instagram.

Avatar
Avatar
campyvillain

the current thing trad losers are losing their minds over is one singular dude on reddit that refurbished and hand painted a grandfather clock and they keep saying the guy “ruined its value” or “threw thousands out the window by vandalizing a precious heirloom” and let me just say as someone densely familiar with the world of antiques, there’s a 99% chance that this clock was a mass produced reproduction and there’s a 100% chance that clock is not as valuable as ppl think it is. when people hear the word ‘grandfather clock’ they’re always gonna assume you’re talking about something that was handmade in a woodshop by a jolly old man when rlly repros take up a waaay bigger slice of the market far more than any handcrafted items. and besides people will repaint or redecorate these ‘oh so sacred handcrafted items’ every day there’s a huge market for them. it’s the same reason why people like long furbies or dolls that have been customized to have like gore mouths or something. this is literally like watching a bunch of pretentious farts make a mountain out of a molehill. also the clock is kinda cool if I’m being honest

this is what’s got them so mad. like the dude didn’t destroy it or anything, just made it more interesting to look at. when I see this I don’t go “this man is a danger to society because he RUINED a precious antique” i just think to myself “huh that’s actually some very impressive work with patterns, getting all those intricate geometric shapes done with just paint must’ve been hard work and it looks cool and the colors really pop” but idk maybe that’s just because I’m not completely deranged

Avatar
safetytank

more clock pictures from the original post:

and the plain wood surface before painting:

Avatar
anyroads

This is all work that can be stripped if anyone wants to restore it to its original state in the future (I mean, why would you but ok), and the fact that they restored it, including putting hands on it and getting it to work, obviously, has far greater value than preserving the original wood finish of what looks like an 80s repro of a Victorian aesthetic.

Avatar
nonasuch

the same guy also made this which looks to be an actual Old Thing but still cannot be called anything but an unambiguous improvement, and also holy shit it fucks severely

ImageImage
You are using an unsupported browser and things might not work as intended. Please make sure you're using the latest version of Chrome, Firefox, Safari, or Edge.