nice dichotomy, idiot. what lies outside it????

#a secret bird thing

NEW FISH JUST DROPPED

I KNOW that playing God is morally wrong, but holy HELL, it looks fun.

Why is it playing God? We aren’t violating any natural laws. God set the parameters of the universe to allow these things. There’s nothing wrong with it, there’s no hubris in learning more about how to manipulate the universe around us.

We made a whole-ass fish.

The reason this was accidental BTW is because they used paddlefish eggs as a negative control group for a breeding experiment on sturgeons because the scientists, quite naturally, assumed that they were SO unrelated it would be genetically impossible for them to mate. Like. I cannot stress enough to you how these creatures last related ancestors were

140 MILLION YEARS BACK.

If you don't know how far that is, that's basically the start of the cretaceous. Let me simplify that for you even further. Chimpanzees and humans seperated, what, 5 or 6 million years ago?

This is basically like if humans could hybridise with THESE THINGS.

This is the sort of thing that should be impossible. They used those eggs to be ABSOLUTELY 100% SURE NOTHING WOULD HAPPEN.

And then THEY GOT FISH OUT OF IT.

Like. You can quite clearly understand why they didn't think anything would happen. WE ARE MORE RELATED TO BLUE WHALES THAN THESE THINGS.

THE AMERICAN PADDLEFISH AND THE STURGEON ARE SO COMPLETELY UNRELATED THAT THIS IS NOT PLAYING GOD. IF ANYTHING THIS IS AN ACT OF GOD.

THE SCIENTISTS HAD NO BLAME IN THIS BECAUSE NOTHING LIKE THIS HAD EVER HAPPENED BEFORE

It sort of goes against the rules of genetics a bit.

Oh i forgot to add

THESE THINGS, FOR HYBRIDS, HAD A REALLY HIGH SURVIVAL RATING. LIKE 70% OF THEM SURVIVED.

To put that into perspective, getting a blue whale and a squirrel and trying to hybridise them is more sensible, and that wouldn't produce anything but getting you banned from science. Most animals that aren't plants can barely hybridise two degrees away from each other.

BUT THESE TWO ENTIRELY UNRELATED FISH create PERFECTLY HEALTHY HYBRIDS.

the scientists literally had to do the tests AGAIN just to be like "okay this is real right. This is actually like, not a fluke, this works right" and it worked again. They just Can!

i really hope there are just a lot of pairings like this but no one's ever tried it to know. like, maybe a squirrel and a whale CAN have babies. have we checked.

it's important to me that people know the original "he would not fucking say that" was in response to a tiktok where someone said eric cartman would thank you for asking for his pronouns. Like it just doesn't hit the same without context.

everytime someone uses "he would not fucking say that" for something he would absolutely fucking say given slightly different circumstances or has already fucking said i immediately become indignant cause you can't waste a joke like this on mild characterisation nitpicks. sorry. it has to be on par with Any Pronouns Cartman.

thinking about the video where a bunch of guys get together to un-corrupt a blastoise that got bad egged years ago in a leafgreen game and how that whole scenario is like. the loving side of cosmic horror. you are a blastoise. you trust your trainer. you've been through countless battles together, and while they never say anything, you can tell your trainer loves you. what you don't know is that your trainer is, at all times, being puppeted by intelligent forces outside of your dimension, holding knowledge far beyond the scope of anything you could ever know. they know things about your world that you do not; that nobody in your world ever could. the distinction between your trainer and this creature is minimal. at the same time, this creature is not god. it does not have infinite knowledge; it understands far greater than you, yet in still a very limited capacity. they understand what your world is made up of and how it can be manipulated to fit your whims. this creature loves you. your trainer loves you. they love you so much that they want to help you become stronger. they manipulate the very laws of your world to attain this feat. however, they did it wrong. they didn't know what they were doing, and the makeup of your being- everything you ARE- was twisted. you are no longer a blastoise. you are a bad egg. your trainer remains the same as ever. everything continues on, the same as it ever was, yet you cannot be what you once were. your trainer tries over, and over, and OVER again to hatch you, but you never become what you once were. you are a bad egg. there are other bad eggs now, other pokemon you used to know; pokemon you helped your trainer catch, pokemon you may have even fought alongside. now you're all bad eggs, sealed away by ancient protective magic known as Code. you never knew such a thing existed. you wonder if you're dangerous now. your trainer sets you in a box. over the years, he forgets which box you're in. unbeknownst to you, the creature is panicking, trying everything it can possibly think of to restore you to your blastoise state. the creature is just a child. he carries the pain of your loss long into adulthood; in his mind, he is responsible for your death. in the grand scheme of the universe, you do not matter; you're a "game". a few lines of code and some pixels. you do not Exist. and yet, you are mourned. and yet many others just like you are mourned by many others just like him. the world has been still for many, many years. you don't know this, because your world does not contain an internal clock. time doesn't really exist for you; it's a concept far outside of your reality. and yet, it is important. your creature contacts another of its kind. it shares the story of its sin, the insignificant act of corrupting you beyond repair. it shares this story in hopes that it could save you. the other creature recalls its own destruction of a world not unlike yours. it agrees to help. many creatures within the world outside of yours have gathered all together, using technologies familiar and unfamiliar with one collective goal in mind: to rescue you. specifically you. your loss is widely considered nothing. and yet, they put in incredible effort. obstacle after obstacle, they perform miracles for your sake. they copy your world; they use strange windows to view it, they layer your world over itself many times over to view it from every angle. they dig deep into the very makeup of your universe just trying to find you. one of them uses a method that only he has access to, in all the world, to find you. and they do. you have lost your name and everything else that makes you you, but there is something that remains in tact, that makes you findable; a piece of "data", an invisible quality to you that you and your trainer would never see, something you could never possibly know about. this is what ultimately makes you you, and not another blastoise. slowly but surely, they begin to put you back together. it's much harder than it needs to be, it is far too much effort for one

creature in one game that will never be touched again, and yet they do it. they race against the clock, stressing endlessly, sweating bullets and crying out in relief when they finally find the exact values, the last pieces of invisible quality that makes it YOU. you are now a blastoise. you are now "legitimate" to the game. you do not know it yet, but your trainer - your creature - is waiting for you, excited to Transfer you into new worlds until you are where he wants you. until you are safe. you also do not know that at this time, two of you exist. there is the You, here, being put together, manipulated through the fabrics of reality to restore your original form. and there is the Original you; the one waiting home, on the cartridge. the Real you. you are a clone, but you are not. you are a new pokemon, but you are the original. you are both corrupted, and legitimate. you are many things. the new you is saved, and this version of your world- this version that has fixed you, and only you- is re-uploaded, overlayed and overwritten to the original. you safely arrive. You are a blastoise. You were a bad egg, for a short time. But now you are a blastoise again. your trainer acts the same as ever, because he cannot display anything that would suggest he notices the difference. you do not know what happened. you have no idea. you have no idea how much you are loved.

I’ll just leave this here....

Great job little dude, you're getting it all figured out

it’s december 1 where’s the christmas tail kitten bring him to me

i have to do EVERYTHING around here

Nine would have thought Martha Jones was the coolest person in the world. Doesn’t even matter where in the timeline this was or what happened to Rose, he would have loved her leather jacket and her hairstyle. He would have loved that she was a DOCTOR! Her studying to be a doctor was so overlooked and he would have loved it. He would have thought she was the coolest person alive. Nine and Donna would have killed each other on sight

Boss is asleep, cannot stop me from frogposting

First like and this has already found its intended audience

uh oh

“Some guy a few houses down barricaded himself in his house with an assault rifle. Fortunately, they got him (or he gave himself up) without any shots fired or anyone getting hurt.” - SgtScheisskopf

IM SCREAMING

IT CAME FULL CIRCLE IM HOLLERIN

IT JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER

IS HE GOING TO BE DRAFTED NEXT???!!!??

This is so sweet and pure. Lol.

I’m crying. I’m also rooting for the Blues now.

@kvnbksa have you seen the updates?

more updates

I love when he says “I want the jersey of someone who’s literally the worst” and Tarasenko is like “This is my moment”

He’s kind of a mini celebrity here, St. Louis takes its hockey seriously 😂 this is from a few weeks ago (Jan 2022, the winter classic)

This gets better every time I see it.

@zombeesknees ANGIE!!!!! IT GOT BETTER!!!!!!!!

very funny that the solution to shatner and nimoys feuding and ego problems behind the scenes was send them to the yaoi mines until they worked it out and this was suggested by acclaimed science fiction writer isaac asimov they will stop fighting over lines and spotlight if you always place the characters together and make their relationship central to the show one cannot think of spock without kirk and kirk without spock and next domino falls slash fiction is invented..

i want you to know i do not lie.. and then they heeded his words and sent them to the yaoi mines for the season 2 premiere

I love how literally every account of this situation I've ever read has been very careful to frame it as a personality conflict between two Big Egos while also communicating an extremely clear subtext that it was really just Shatner being a big pissbaby over the fact that teenage girls liked Nimoy's character better than his.

Me, checking IMDB: I bet it's Doug

IMDB:

watchmojo: That moment when you meet the Watchmojo lady 😱

“can you do the intro for us….?”

imagine meeting celebrities and they geek out over you lol

it was so nice of the watchmojo lady to do an interview with her fans

Best part is the background commentary from the other seventh graders:

Student 1: How does he do that???

Student 2, in a bored tone: he’s gay, he can do anything 🙄