One Way or Another

Hello My Lovelies,

You can access the MASTERLIST here at my wordpress blog.

Regards, Bec Xxx

Supernatural One way or another

(Dean x Reader)

  Authors Note:  Finally finished one that’s been in my half written folder for ages. J Enjoy, My Lovelies.

  WORD COUNT: 6,500 approx

He sat staring at lifeline in his hands. The one thing that could potentially bring him from the darkness that had consumed him. He turned it over again, second guessing himself once more. Was it the right thing to do? The right call. God, there were so many other choices he could have made. So many other paths he could have taken. His eyes flickered to the gun on the table in front of him…no, that wasn’t one of them. Nothing could have brought him to do that. At least he’d like to think so.

‘If you want an excuse, we need the help?’ Sam offered as he glanced up from the mountains of books in front of him.

‘We’re not that desperate.’

‘You are,’ Sam pointed out, raising an eyebrow. ‘Dean, it’s not-.’

‘Don’t. Don’t go starting this again. It’s over. It’s done. Move on.’

‘It’s not, and you know it. Look we could really use her help. I can’t translate this, Google can’t even recognise it. And let’s face it, she could figure this out before dusk,’ Sam sighed.

‘Not. Happening,’ he snapped. ‘She made her damn choice.’

‘You telling her to get out before -.’

Dean glared at his brother, silencing him. He didn’t need the reminder. He was well aware of what was said on both sides of the argument. He was also well aware that Y/N had done as he demanded in his fit of drunken rage and not bothered to call or text once. In the months since she’d walked out, telling him where to go, he’d not seen or heard from her. Nor had anyone provided him with an update. He didn’t know if she was dead or alive. Sam had tried in the first few weeks to get her to speak to them, but she didn’t answer. He stood, stomping out the room and slamming the door behind him. A small part of him wondering if Sam was right. More so, wanting to know if he apologised would she forgive him? Would they both finally heal and be able to move forward. He shook his head as he stuffed his clenched fists into his pocket. No, there’d be no moving forward. There’d always be questions. Always be doubts. He’d never truly be able to trust her or even himself again.

Keep reading

Hush, Hush

  For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories; Sam and Dean Series                        Requests and Stand Alones Lil Winchester                       Heart Song A Love She Never Knew       Dear Diary High School Sweethearts      Reader Title Challenge Enjoy my lovelies. Regards, Bec Xxx                                                       Stand Alone                                                      Hush, Hush

Authors Note: This is the one that distracted me from my novel the other night. I was listening to my playlist when the song came over my earphones. You can find it HERE. it’s Avril Lavignes- Hush, Hush xx

WORD COUNT: 1543

Dean watched as the sun rose on the open road ahead of him. He wasn’t in the mood for his music, not today. Well, no that wasn’t entirely true, he had done nothing but listen to his music for the past few weeks and he knew Y/N would want nothing more than to listen to hers. But she was never one to complain, so for this trip home he put the radio on, tuned it into her favourite station and let the music play through Baby’s speakers.

He was really starting to struggle, the long drive, the exhaustion from the hunt, the stress taking its toll. The song that came on next pulled his lips into a small smile. He had heard it enough to know the name of the singer, the lyrics everything. But he still stuck by his guns Y/N sang it better. Avril Lavigne’s – Hush Hush swept through the car,

‘I didn’t mean to kiss you You didn’t mean to fall in love I never meant to hurt you I never meant for it to mean this much…’

Dean looked over at Y/N, there in his passenger seat, the way the sun bounced off her hair and eyes. That small sexy smile that was reserved just for him. That one that made him melt every damn time. The way she bit her lip because she knew he was thinking about her, about them.

Dean listened to the lyrics as his eyes went back to the road, God it described their relationship. The ups and downs, the two were hunting partners and friends. Close friends, but there was never anything romantic about it. Not until that night about two years ago when some douche was hitting on her and wouldn’t take no for an answer so Y/N turned and kissed Dean to prove she was unavailable. Never did either of them think that the sort of feelings that kiss would give, the rollercoaster of emotions that followed would be humanly possibly.

It still took another couple of months after that before Dean gained enough courage to ask her out, the kiss changed things there was no doubt in that. He became more protective, more jealous, more touchy feely. And yet they still weren’t together. Y/N became more aware of Dean and his actions, the comfort they provided her, how things changed since that kiss. The jealousy she felt when other women hit on him, although she couldn’t help but feel somewhat smug when he didn’t return the flirting. She noticed the way she struggled not to lean into him when he would run a hand across her back when he put a coffee down for her, or how his hand always found her hair if they sat next to one another. Then there was the looks, the proud as hell ‘That’s my girl,’ type look he wore when she solved a case. Hell, the look was even prouder than the look her Dad would give her when she had made him proud, and she was Daddy’s little girl, an only child, one that was never meant to be but the apple of his eye.

The two had become inseparable. Dean eventually asking her out officially and that night their world changed again, he took her out for a picnic. Well more beer and potato chips while they lay on the hood of the impala watching the stars. He confessed his feelings that night, and never had he felt so tall, so amazing, so invincible as to what he did when she returned the “I love you.” The way their lips fit together, how when he kissed it was like kissing sunshine. Everything about it was right. Everything he ever needed was in his arms in that moment. He did something that night he had never done. He made love. It wasn’t just a quick nameless one night stand. It was an expression of emotion, a joining of souls, the spiritual and physical union of the two halves. They were what made each other whole.

Hunting had taken its toll though, the protectiveness Dean felt over her only got worse. He hated her hunting on her own, or even at all. Y/N knew he was worried, but she had a job to do. These people needed saving and if that meant running into a nuclear explosion to do it, she would. It was one of the many, many traits Dean loved about her. But it did cause a lot of conflict.

Dean pulled up at Y/N’s family cabin, he had promised her after their last argument that they would take time off. Just them, alone as soon as they had finished the demon hunt. He looked over at her, running a hand through her hair. He picked her up and carried her into the cabin, her eyes still closed, and her head lay on his chest feeling his heart beating against her cheek. She was home in his arms, a sensation she had never expected to find. He kissed her head and placed her in the bed they shared when they came here.

He found her iPod and softly put on her playlist. He knew it was her escape from their world, from the hunts, it brought her back to reality. Especially when things didn’t always go to plan, when the victim couldn’t be saved like the hunt hey had just finished.

He thought back to the hunt, the way she screamed when the victim was killed. He knew the guilt that she would be facing, the self hatred, it happened every time. This time was no different. He knew he had to bring about peace to help calm her. The thought of what she is going through brought tears to his eyes.

Her playlist flicked to the next song and Hush Hush came on. Dean couldn’t help but smile again. 

‘When I try to forget you I just keep on remembering What we had was so true Somehow we lost everything. Hush Hush now (Hush hush now) So go on, live your life So go on and say goodbye So many questions but I don’t ask why…’

As hard as he tried he lost it then, broke down screaming. It wasn’t fair. Why was he given something only to have it taken away? Why couldn’t she just have listened? Have stayed with him? Have stayed at the motel?

He used the blankets to cover the stab wound in her stomach. He couldn’t keep looking at it. He ran his hand through her hair, and spent the next few hours crying.

‘I tried to hide but I still believe We, that we were always meant to be (be) But I could never let you go, no…’

‘Baby, please sweetheart just open your eyes, come back. We can give up hunting completely go cold turkey. Go have some apple pie-‘ he couldn’t even finish the sentence. He couldn’t get the words out. His girl was gone and nothing would bring her back.

He knew he should call Sam, or Bobby. Oh God he had to call Bobby and tell him what? That he let him down, that is little girl was dead. Dean had not only lost a huge part of himself but he had to tell and rip that part from her Dad too. Dean broke down again.

He pulled the small box from his pocket and opened it. It was the engagement ring he had bought her. The one he had worked his arse to get her, all hard earned cash. Nothing less than she deserved.

‘Please don’t leave me…’ he sobbed.

He pushed the ring onto her finger. It suited her, God it looked good. Y/N Winchester. Sounded pretty darn amazing too, a life that would never be. He replayed that look in her eyes and the knife was pushed into her stomach, the shock, the wide eyed mouth dropped shock. He didn’t even see what the demon had done, he just remember trying to stand after being thrown against the wall and seeing her face. Watching as the life left her eyes, the shine and spark gone.

He broke down again, no words could say how he felt. No words could take away the pain. Her song came through the iPod again.

‘So go on, live your life  So go on and say goodbye So many questions but I don’t ask why Maybe someday but not tonight Hush Hush now…’

Epilogue Y/N approached the man in the diner, a small smile on her face.

‘Mr Death,’ she addressed him.

‘Always polite, join me for some pie Y/N.’

She sat with him, it was no secret that amongst hunters, angels and even demons Y/N was well liked. She was fair, polite, kind, nothing like her Father or the two Winchester’s she hunted with.

‘Do you know why I’m here?’ he asked.

‘I believe I may have an idea.’

Death watched as tears formed in her eyes.

‘I felt it best coming from me,’ he felt his own heartbreak, her death happened long before anyone expected.

The tears rolled down her cheek, and he watched as she took a breath to calm down, she felt a sense of peace washing over her.

‘Hush Hush now…’  

Bad Things

Hello My Lovelies,

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories. Masterlist

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                                Request                                              Bad Things

 red-stxrlight said to 5minutefanfiction:

Hey any chance you could do a dean X reader based on Jace Everett’s song bad things? XxX

Authors Note: I really do hope this is ok. I love this song, never knew what it was called or who sung it. Now I’ve added it to my download list. But I’m so worried it’s come out like a bad version of a fake porn book haha. I’m so sorry if it did. I struggled with how to make this happen.

 WORD COUNT: 1040

The door of the bar opened, Dean looked up automatically. Checking the newcomer for signs that meant he had to get to work. He watched as she stepped through, the doorway. He felt his breath get caught in his chest.

He let his eyes rake over her body. Head to toe. The way her Y/C/H shaped and fell around her shoulders, how it moved like strands of the finest silk the way it called to be tangled in his fingers. Her Y/C/E’s shone brightly in the lights of the bar. The silk black dress that shimmered in the light, moving across her body in the most sensual way. Caressing her curves in ways that made his tongue want to follow.

He watched as she glanced over the crowd her eye’s catching his, the smile she gave him almost made him fall off the stool and onto his knees. Begging for her to let him take her back to his room. The things he wanted to do to her right now, made his primal desires come alive. If he wasn’t so captivated by her right now, he probably would have found himself blushing.

She made her way over to him, he ordered another drink, not once taking his eyes off her. She leant down and kissed his cheek, causing his breath to hitch as he felt himself struggling to keep his hands off her.

Right from the start, she had suckered him in. He found his mind wandering to her every chance it could. Fantasies of what she looked like naked, what she felt like under his fingers and tongue. The softness of her lips. All consumed his dreams. And he’d only met her a few times. No one had ever taken over his life like she did.

He wondered if she knew what she was doing, if she was aware of the power she held over him. He watched as she crossed her legs, the silk dress riding up her thigh slightly. And he struggled to keep from tracing its path.

As she smiled at him, biting her lip slightly, he wondered if she knew what he was thinking. If they would scare her away or draw her in towards him.

Y/N took a drink of her beer and watched as Dean spoke to her, discussing hunts. Making random conversations. She looked at the way his eyes darkened as they watched her, how there was no hiding the desire that filled them.

The two had been dancing around each other since they met. Always on the brink of getting together but nothing ever happening. When she found out they were in the same town for a hunt she had casually suggested a drink.

Her intentions tonight were to finally stop dancing around. To let him know she was interested. She lent down and adjusted the strap on her heel and could feel Dean’s eyes wandering over her breasts.

Normally she would have decked a bloke for looking at her in that way. But him, she wanted nothing more than to feel his stubble along her skin, the scratching soothed by his tongue.

The thoughts that ran through her mind, made her legs press together tighter as she fought off a squirm.

‘So where you heading to now?’ Dean asked.

He watched as her head tilted slightly as the song changed and she grinned at him.

‘Dance floor,’ she smiled, taking his hand and pulling him with her.

Dean wasn’t a dancer, he wasn’t a groover, he was a sit and watch. But with her, dancing meant she’d move against him, it meant he got to feel her, run a hand along her body, to pull her in close. And even if nothing else happened it was more than he had so far.

As she moved against him he had hoped it eased some of his desire, some of his thoughts. But all it did was make it worse.

The song finished and she went to head back to the bar, getting desperate he pulled her back.

‘One more,’ he breathed into his ear.

One more dance and then he’d make his move, one more chance to man up and finally and hopefully get to do all the things that were going through his mind, sending him to brink of insanity.

The song ended and it was almost painful to feel her slip from his fingers as she moved to sit back down. Dean joining her, struggling to form the words. Wanting to say so much and yet not wanting to reveal the extent of his thoughts.

He watched as she finished her drink and stood. His chance at making his move growing to an end.

She smiled at him, causing his heart to race, as she leant in and kissed him goodnight on the jaw. He gasped softly as her tongue lightly ran along him under her lips.

But it was when she breathed into his ear, her soft whisper causing his hands to rise up and caress her hips that he realised just how bad she wanted him too.

She pulled back and gave him a simple chaste kiss to her lips, smiling again as she stepped back and out of his grasp.

His jaw was almost in his lap, shocked, wanting, need, happiness all flooding through his body as he watched her step back into the crowd and towards the door.

It took him a few moments to realise she had left without him. Throwing money on the bar, he took off after her, finding her standing next to his car.

‘I was beginning to think it was a no,’ she smiled.

‘Never, not with what I have planned.’

He watched as she bit her lip, fighting back another smile.

‘And yet, you’re still taking your time?’

Dean threw himself forward, kissing her, letting his hands wander.

‘In. Now,’ he demanded, pushing her into the car as he kissed her.

He climbed in, kissing her again. Definitely not a no. This time or the next. Not with what she made him want to do. Not with what she did. Not with what he wanted to do again.

Light Behind the Onyx (Part Two)

Hello My Lovelies,

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories. Masterlist

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                                 Stand Alone                                  Light Behind The Onyx (Part Two)

Request

Authors Note: For Part One See Here

WORD COUNT: 3877

The throbbing, the call, the hallucinations. Dean was struggling to control it. The Mark was calling for him. It called for blood, it had a thirst for the pain and suffering. And it was taking him over.

He needed to hunt. He needed to be able to sated it somehow and right now the best chance he had was killing some kind of monster. He opened Sam’s laptop and started going through the news. Unexplained killings, murder suspects that made no sense, missing people, signs of demonic activity. Something. Anything. That would ease the call.

He spotted an article on a murder suicide in Ohio. Loving mother and two kids. He went through as many articles as he could to make sure it was a possession or something similar.

‘Post natal gone south, there’s nothing there,’ the familiar voice said quietly from behind him.

He froze. She shouldn’t be here. He wanted to see her more than anything. He wanted her more than anything. It had been a long six months without her. The worst of his life for so many reasons, but he knew it was safer for her to be thousands of miles away. It was his only saving grace in the misery he felt.

‘Y/N,’ he gasped, standing up and turning around.

‘Hey, Dean.’

He moved closer and automatically pulled her into a hug. God he had missed her. She felt good, smelt good. He fought back tears and the urge to kiss her. She tasted good. He knew that. He has spent a lifetime fighting off a possible relationship, for her safety and her saving himself from the pain of losing her.

But then he turned, he became his worst nightmare and to save her he sent her away. But not before finally caving. He let himself feel what it would be like to have her. He had been suffering ever since.

‘I missed you,’ she whispered.

Dean kissed her neck and tightened his arms.

‘You have no idea,’ he mumbled. ‘I’m so sorry, Sweetheart. But I was right. It’s not safe here. You have to go.’

‘Sorry, but you don’t get to make that choice for me again.’

He sighed. He realised then the call had backed off, his mind clearing of everything but her. She pulled back and looked at him. Giving him that one sided smile he loved so much.

‘I love you, Dean. More than anything and I’m pissed that you didn’t call when things got tough. We’ve always faced this sort of thing together. The three of us. Don’t shut me out because your punishing yourself.’

He huffed at her and stepped back.

‘Really? You’re going to chuck a tantrum?’

‘I told you it wasn’t safe. I didn’t do this to punish myself, I did it to keep you safe!’

‘And in that time, I’ve had a broken collarbone, fractured wrist, three stab wounds, internal bleeding and multiple concussions. Oh and some jerkoff totalled my car! I wasn’t safer being away from you.’

Dean froze, ‘What?’

‘I called but you didn’t answer,’ she said quietly. ‘Four months in hospital. It wasn’t pretty.’

Guilt washed through him.

‘When?’

‘As I was leaving. Drugged out driver, high as a kite and just as happy, apparently. He didn’t make it.’

‘It’s still safer than being here right now.’

‘Bullshit.’

‘I love you. You know that. But you really need to leave,’ he pleaded. Tears running down his cheeks.

‘Not. Happening.’

‘You’re out voted!’

She gave him a look of triumph and Dean felt his blood boil.

‘He called you in didn’t he?’

‘Sam, Cas, Charlie, Jodie. They’re worried and from what I’m seeing I don’t blame them.’

‘Last time…Last time, I hurt you.’

‘According to your alter ego, that was Sam’s fault.’

‘Not helping, Y/N.’

‘Dean, let me try and help, please.’

‘I can’t go back there. I can’t have you here if I do. What he wanted…’

‘We can bring you back, you know that. I can control him… somewhat. Better than anyone else can.’

‘No,’ he whispered.

She frowned at him. His gorgeous best friend. The love of his life and his reason for being. The one he could never be with.

‘No. You’re leaving. And you’re doing it now.’

They heard a noise and he looked up to see Sam in the doorway. He let rip, screaming at him for calling her. Risking her life. If she died it was on his head. Dean stormed out, down towards his room and slammed the door shut.

‘So that went well,’ Y/N sighed. ‘He’s worse than I expected.’

‘I’m sorry, Y/Nny I thought if he saw you, it might help. He’s hating himself.’

‘He’s punishing himself, Sam. He wants to die. Even if it does demonise him.’

‘Yeah, that’s what I figured. Hopefully, he comes around.’

Dean stared at himself in the mirror, the blood pulsing in his ears. The mark burning and calling for him. He looked deep into his own eyes and saw black. He panicked momentarily before they turned back to the the forest green they usually were.

She shouldn’t be here. She should be away from here. Safe somewhere. Happy. Away from him.

Her hand gently touched his arm and he sighed, turning to face her.

‘I hate that you’re stubborn,’ he muttered.

‘That makes two of us,’ she said softly.

The throbbing in his ears faded out. The burning on his arm slowly easing.

‘Don’t push me away, please,’ she begged.

Dean looked to the ceiling, blinking back tears of frustration. She shifted and wrapped her arms around his waist, letting her head rest on his chest. He wrapped her up. Holding her tight. She shifted and smiled at him.

‘Thank you.’

She rose onto her toes, kissing his cheek.

‘I’m going to go grab my gear and find a shower. It’s been a long couple of days.’

As she walked out, Dean felt the pulsing and burning come back with vengeance and it scared him. He locked himself in his room for the night, leaving Y/N and Sam to catch up.

Y/N stood in Dean’s doorway, early hours of the morning.

‘He’s been restless since you left,’ Sam said quietly, coming up next to her.

‘He’s not restless, he’s having nightmares,’ Y/N told him.

She watched in pain as Dean tossed and turned, grabbing at his sheets. Calling out. He was covered in sweat and no longer sleeping in pyjamas. She knew why. He was so scared they could come true, that he would need to fight the moment he woke up.

‘I don’t know what to do,’ Sam told her.

She could hear the anguish in his voice.

‘Leave it to me. You go get some sleep.’

She watched as Sam left, before heading over to Dean’s bed, climbing in next to him. She gently ran her fingers through his hair.

‘Dean? It’s ok. You’re safe, human and no one’s hurt.’

He slowly stopped throwing himself, much to Y/N’s relief. She kissed his forehead gently and ran her fingers along his jaw.  

‘Y/N?’ he mumbled.

‘Yeah. Sorry, but it looked like you needed some company.’

Dean grumbled something and Y/N sighed.

‘Don’t go being a douche.’

She settled down next to him and Dean shifted so he had her wrapped in his arms.

She tilted her head and kissed his cheek. But Dean couldn’t take it anymore, he quickly turned his head and captured her mouth with his. Pushing his hand behind her head he pulled her in closer. He needed her, wanted her. Every part of her. It was all that consumed his thoughts.

The desire to kill long gone, the call of the Mark in the back of his mind.

Her moans, and fingers nails digging into his shoulders only spurred him on. He knew once this was over, there was no way she was leaving. But in that moment he didn’t care, he needed her.

He woke the next morning to find her still in his arms, and for the first time since he got the mark, he had no nightmares.

Realisation washed over him as he put two and two together. Like with the demon side of him, she somehow managed to push back his desire to kill. Ease the calling of the mark. His need for blood, turning into a need for her. He had no idea if this was a good thing or a bad thing.

Selfishly though, he wasn’t going to complain. If this meant he could have her, it was worth it.

Over the next couple of weeks, Dean watched as Y/N and Sam spoke quietly. They were keeping secrets and it started to annoy him. The jealously the demon side of him felt, slowly rising up. He watched as Y/N nodded at something Sam said and as Sam put a hand on her back and lead her out the room.

The rational side of him knew there was nothing too it. Sam was always like that with her. It was platonic, protective, safe guarding. Sam knew how Dean felt. He also knew Dean and Y/N were together. Neither knew why Dean had suddenly changed his mind. They had both questioned it but he refused to answer. Just told them he missed her, couldn’t live without her. It was true. He certainly wasn’t lying; it just wasn’t all of it.

His once clear head turned into nothing but thoughts of her. Needing her. Contact, talk, closeness, attention. It was as bad as his desire to kill. But instead of bloodlust it was a Y/Nlust. But when she left the urge to kill came thundering back.

He watched, relieved as she came back into the room. Smiling at him.

‘So Sam and I are heading out to catch a movie. Some French thing I think. We will catch up with you tonight?’

‘Or Sam can go, and we can stay here.’

He wrapped his arms around her, feeling the urge and desire fade slightly as he pulled her onto his lap.

‘I thought you would have been fed up with me already and wanted a break,’ she grinned, kissing him.

‘Never. Not in a million years. I want more, not less.’

He kissed her back, using his lips to plead with her to stay. Sam came back in and Dean watched as Y/N looked at him. The two seemed to exchange a silent conversation, before Sam nodded.

‘I’ll go watch it, you stay and keep Dean company.’

Dean was getting agitated, Y/N had left earlier that day to go to the shops and get a few things. She wasn’t meant to be gone long. And he knew she hadn’t been but not having her around was killing him.

He was pissed that Eldon had got away. More pissed that The Book of the Damned was still around and he had a feeling Sam was lying to him about it. He had been searching for Eldon, for Y/N but no luck. At least she was out when he got away.

He confronted Sam about the book and completely lost it when he found out.

‘I don’t freakin’ believe it! You got Charlie involved with this again, and now she’s missing?!’ he screamed. ‘What about Y/N? Is she in on this?’

‘She found out and wasn’t happy, but I made her promise to keep it quiet. She was going to check on them this morning.’

Sam’s phone buzzed and he was grateful to see Charlie’s number come up.

‘Charlie, where are you?… If you have the book, give it to them.’

‘Charlie has the damn Book of the Damned?!’ Dean demanded.

‘Then give them your notes, Charlie! Give them the code … whatever they want!’

Dean snatched the phone from Sam, ‘Charlie, I don’t know what the hell is going on, but you need to listen to me. Give whoever that is whatever they want. You understand? Charlie?!’ ‘I can’t do that, Dean,’ she said quietly.

The line went dead and Dean panicked, the two men rushing out to the car. Both trying to call Charlie over and over. Arguing along the way.

As they pushed into the bathroom, they found a sight they never wanted to see. Charlie lying dead in the bath.

‘Oh God,’ Sam gasped.

‘Charlie?’ Dean’s voice came out like a whimper.

Pissed wasn’t the right word. He hated his brother for what he’d done. What he put her through. He refused to talk to him. He tried Y/N again and again, but she never answered. A sense of foreboding washed over him.

He couldn’t take it any longer he grabbed his car and left. He wanted the Stynes to pay. He wanted his girl and he wanted away from Sam.

Sam had barely picked up when Y/N’s frightened voice came through the phone.

‘Sammy?’ she cried.

‘Y/N, where are you? Are you ok?’

‘No. I… shit… something’s happened. I pulled up at the motel and some guy attacked the car. I took off hoping to draw them away from Charlie. I…oh God, Sammy. I can’t shake them and I can’t fight them, vamps are easier than these guys.’

‘I know. Where are you?’

She gave him the details of her motel and room number and Sam went to hang up.

‘Sam?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Is Charlie ok? I’ve tried calling her but the lines dead.’

Sam didn’t say anything. He knew that the two women were close. He listened as Y/N choked back a sob.

‘I’m so sorry, Y/Nny.’

‘Where’s Dean?’

‘I don’t know. He’s pissed and he took off. He’s trying to find you and the Stynes.’

He heard her swear and listened as she struggled to calm herself down.

‘I call him in a minute. Might be safer for him if I calm down a bit.’

‘Yeah,’ Sam said quietly. They both knew how Dean could get. Especially when it come to her. More so since the mark. He broke a guy’s arm because he drunkenly stumbled into her knocking her into a table.

As Dean left the police station, he had made up his mind. He knew what he had to do. In part anyway. He pulled his phone from his pocket and tried Y/N again. He’d tried tracking her phone but had no luck. He was growing more worried by the minute. First thing first. He had to get rid of the Stynes then he could find her. She would be safe at least then.

He felt the call of the mark and let it take him over, his only hope was that he could still come back from it.

Her stormed the Stynes property, feeling confident they were all going to die.

As he stepped through the door and listened to music playing softly, he was surprised to the stairs suddenly covered in men holding all kinds of weapons.

The next thing he knew he was blinking, struggling to focus on the light overhead.

‘Morning, Sunshine. Monroe Styne, pleasure.’

Dean grunted softly as he tried to move.

‘I’d ah, shake your hand but you know.’

The two carried on with their exchange of words as Dean tried to find a way to get out. At the end of it he knew one thing. The Stynes planned on harvesting his body parts. Despite his warnings not to.

‘Dean?’ a voice cried out.

‘Oh right. Where’s my manners? I did forget to introduce you to our other guest. I have to say Dean you certainly have taste when it comes to the ladies.’

Dean’s head snapped left as he looked wide eyed at Y/N strapped to the bed, trying to break free of her restraints.

‘You son of a bitch. Let her go!’

‘I wish I could. But you see, you’ve caused us a bit of grief of late. And well Eldon was all set to keep her for himself. But then after he finished with your little redheaded friend. He went looking for her and well Y/N here killed four members of my family, it’s not something I take lightly.’

Dean looked over at Y/N who’s struggling stopped as a small smirk appeared on her face. He couldn’t help but feel proud of her. Yes, she had been captured. But she’d put up a hell of fight. That was his girl.

He caught movement and he watched as one of the Stynes moved towards her.

‘So now, I have a dilemma, Eldon’s a bit taken by her. Something about her showing some spunk. He always did like a challenge with his women.’

Dean caught Y/N’s eyes and he could see the pure terror that filled them. She’d rather die. They both would rather she died than have that happen.

‘But I’m still inclined to cut her open and see what gives her that spunk.’

He watched as the guy that was by her picked up a scalpel.

‘Don’t you touch her!’ he screamed. ‘Y/N!’

He watched as the guy put the blade to her chest, he could see her trying to keep her breathing under control, trying not to move.

She cried out as the blade cut into her skin and Dean lost it. Breaking free from his restraints he broke Monroe’s nose. Grabbing a saw he cut the throat of the man that had cut Y/N, before killing the nurse.

He went after Monroe, preparing to make him suffer.

Y/N fought as hard as she could against the restraints, trying to break free. She could feel blood trickling down her chest towards her neck. She hoped it wasn’t too deep. She watched as Dean killed Styne after Styne. She didn’t know what scared her more. The Stynes or this side of Dean. He had let the mark take over. She knew that much. And while she knew she was safe, it was a matter of what it would do to him.

She watched as he ran over to her, untying her arm cuffs. He didn’t say a word just pulled her into his arms and held her tight, before pulling back to kiss her passionately.

‘How deep?’ he asked, through tears as he checked her chest. ‘It won’t need stitches, I don’t think.’ He grabbed some cloth and pushed it gently against her. ‘We need to move.’ He took her hand and gently helped her off the bed. ‘Stay behind me, stay out of the the way.’

She didn’t say anything, she just followed watching as Dean continued on his killing spree.

One of the Stynes came from nowhere and hit Y/N unexpectedly, sending her to the floor. She kicked out as he threw himself down towards her, but her feet met nothing but air, as Dean grabbed him, throwing him into a wall before shooting him.

He almost threw her into the car and took off towards the bunker. Not speaking even once. Y/N felt herself starting to shake. She realised then that she felt safer with the demon version of Dean than she did him right now.

He locked up the brakes and jumped out of the car. She went to follow but froze when he looked at her. Nothing was said, she knew what he was thinking. She was staying put.

Y/N waited until Dean had gone inside the bunker and decided there was no way she was waiting around. She moved inside the bunker, jumping as a gun went off, it’s shot echoing off the walls. She made her way towards the noise and froze there was Dean standing over the bodies of Eldon and another boy.

‘Dean,’ she whispered, putting her hand on his arm.

Dean turned slowly to look at her, finally getting the chance to take stock of what they did. The cut to her chest, the bruising on her jaw. There was a cut to her temple that had long since dried up, her lip was split, her shirt stained with blood. She was cradling her arm against her.

He felt the anger bubble up within him. He didn’t know if it was his, the marks or the demons. All three versions of himself loved this woman, all three wanted nothing more than to see her safe, protected and unharmed. He looked down at the men on the floor. Their deaths. Monroe’s death. The extinction of the Stynes themselves, didn’t seem enough for what they did to her.

‘Dean?’ she repeated, reaching out to take the gun from his hand.

He let go, watching as she emptied the chamber and removed the magazine. Dean grabbed her and pulled her in tightly, jumping back as she cried out. He slowly and carefully lifted her shirt and saw she was covered in bruises.  

He struggled to contain his anger, his jaw tensed and his chest heaved.

‘I’m fine. It could have been a lot worse.’

‘I told you to stay away,’ he growled.

‘This had nothing to do with the mark.’

‘This had everything to do with it!’ he screamed. ‘You and Sam trying to find a way to remove it, that’s what go us all involved with this. That’s what killed Charlie, that’s what almost killed you!’

‘So we were supposed to let it destroy you. Watch as you spiralled further and further out of control. I can’t do that, Dean. Don’t even try and ask me to do that.’

‘You were supposed to be safe,’ he whispered, tears welling in his eyes.

‘And I am, thanks to you.’

‘Y/N,’ he pleaded.

‘You honestly want me to go? To leave and never return? To never see you again?’

‘I want you safe and near me isn’t it.’

‘Away from you isn’t either.’

Dean sighed, she was right.

‘I love you, Dean. More than I thought I could, more than I should. More than my own life. And even if you push me away, I’m not leaving. I’m going to stay, be it here or close by and I will continue to fight to save you. You just have to decide if you want me doing it alone.’

He watched her, afraid to move, to speak, to give her any indication of what he was thinking.

She moved in closer and wrapped her arms gently around him. He automatically wrapped her up, more gently this time. Kissing her head. He felt his head clearing, the call and control of the mark subsiding.

As she shifted and tilted her head towards him, he leant down and kissed her softly, carefully not to hurt her further.

‘I love you,’ she whispered.

‘I love you too, Y/N.’

He had no idea what was going to happen now. He knew she wouldn’t stop looking for a cure, for a way to fix this. Neither would Sam. And he hated them both for it. He considered leaving, going out on is own again. But the thought of what it made him feel, what he did, what he wanted to do when she wasn’t around scared him. He needed her more than he wanted to admit. All he knew though, was despite his fear for her life, he couldn’t survive this without her.

Light Behind the Onyx

Hello My Lovelies,

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories. Masterlist

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                               Stand Alone                                        Light Behind the Onyx

Authors Note: Sorry I’ve been absent, I’ve had training courses, birthdays, sport and just family chaos. Enjoy, My Lovelies, xx.

WORD COUNT: 3500ish

‘Y/N!’ Sam screamed.

Y/N rolled over in bed, her face wet from the constant flow of tears. Nothing she did stopped them.

‘He’s gone, Dean’s gone.’

Y/N stared at Sam blankly like he was talking a foreign language.

‘Y/N?’

‘Did you just say gone?’ Sam nodded and waited for the explosion. Y/N and Dean were complicated to say the least. Both wanted to date, but they both refused to do it. Both too scared of letting go, of loosing the other in a hunt, the pain associated with the loss, of becoming dependant. Not that it stopped them. All that still happened, in spite of their being no relationship of any kind other than close friends. They did everything together, expect kiss and have sex. Dean took her out for dinner every Valentines Day, if he was out and saw something she would like he’d get it and vica versa. They were unofficially together. To the outside world they were madly in love, to each other they were madly in love, but together it was platonic and just friends.

‘Sure Sammy, he just got up and walked away,’ she mumbled, rolling back over.

‘I’m serious, Y/N,’ Sam grabbed her hand and yanked her out of bed and down the hall.

Y/N stood in the doorway of Dean’s room looking at her bed.

‘Where is he?’

‘I don’t know. He was here, now he’s gone.’

‘Where the hell did you put him, Sam?!’ Y/N screamed, becoming hysterical.

‘Y/N, I swear I don’t know where he is,’ Sam said gently.

He watched as she collapsed, and he dropped with her wrapping her in a hug and kissing the top of her head.

‘We’ll find him, I swear.’  

Over the next few months the two worked tirelessly at research and following leads. It was then that they got word Dean was a demon and where to find him.

They arrived at the bar and Sam made Y/N wait outside, they both knew if Demon!Dean hurt her then Dean would never forgive himself.

Sam went in and Dean came out alone. Y/N watched as he beat up and went to kill person after person.

‘Dean!’ Y/N screamed running towards him. ‘Dean, stop. Please.’

The demon froze and turned to face her.

‘Please don’t do this, this isn’t you.’

The black eyes flickered and the emerald green iris’s came back.

‘Hey, Sweetheart. It’s been a while.’  

‘Yeah, Dean, it has.’  

‘You look good, really, really good,’ Dean commented, licking his lips he eyed her off.    

‘I try,’ she smiled, sadly.    

The tone, the words, the looks, this wasn’t Dean, but Y/N knew she just needed to keep him talking while Sam did whatever he needed to do to get him in the car.  

Dean walked up to her and slipped his arms around her waist, pulling her flush against him. He felt her stiffen slightly, but he ignored it. Every part of him wanted her, needed her. Something about her sated the desire he had to kill everyone in a two block radius.    

‘God I missed you,’ Dean mumbled. ‘More than I realised.’  

He thought about his time away with Crowley, the people he had killed or put in hospital. How it made him feel. If he had of know being here with her would have made him feel better, he would have stayed at the bunker.  

‘I missed you too, Dean. Please tell me you will come home?’  

Dean looked down and looked into her eyes, his own eyes flicking black and then green again. He felt her flinch at the change and his heart sunk.  

‘I’m not going to hurt you, Y/N. I never could. Demon or not.’  

She looked at him through her eyelashes and nodded. Dean watched as she bit her lip while she considered her options. It became too much, he pushed her up against the wall and kissed her roughly.    

‘Sweetheart, as long as your mine, I’ll follow you anywhere,’ Dean mumbled into her neck as his hand pushed up her top.    

Y/N stood unsure of what to do. Sam came out and gave her a funny look, before realising it was all Dean.  

‘So you will come home?’  

‘Can I have you when we get there? Cos against a dirty wall isn’t my style.’  

‘Let me help you first and you can have me however you want,’ she smiled seductively.

Dean moaned and pushed his face into her cleavage.    

‘We need to go now,’ Y/N told him quietly.    

Sam handed Y/N the cuffs and she looked at Dean.  

‘Do you trust me?’  

‘Sweetheart, as long as your riding me while I’m chained I’m good with anything.’

Dean held out his hands, and watched as Y/N handcuffed him. He slid his hands over her head and pulled her in, kissing her again.

They got back to the bunker and Y/N helped Sam get Dean into the chair and devil’s trap.

‘Am I getting a lap dance for my cooperation?’ he asked seductively, running his eyes over her.

‘Once we make you feel better.’

‘Baby, having you touch me will make me feel better.’

Y/N smiled at him, she went to walk over to him when Sam put a hand on her elbow, stopping her.

Dean’s eyes turned black instantly.

‘I wouldn’t be doing that, Sammy. Do not keep her away from me.’

‘It’s for her safety, Dean. You know that. You’ll hate yourself if anything happens to her.’

Demon!Dean’s eyes only appeared to get darker.

‘I’d kill every damn person on this planet, before I even consider hurting her. Come here, Sweetheart,’ Dean growled.

The Demon needed her, his whole body ached for her. The desire to kill, the need to harm all coming back. He didn’t want it. He wanted her. He wanted to feel her, taste her, hear her moan.

He watched the pain in her eyes, as she looked at him. Before looking at Sam. Dean watched as Sam squeezed her arm gently. He wasn’t liking the way the guy looked at her, the way he touched her. She wasn’t his to touch. She was Dean’s. No one but him was allowed to touch her.

‘You should leave, Y/N,’ Sam said quietly.

Dean watched the tears form in her eyes.

‘Give us a minute first,’ she said quietly.

Sam nodded and went to get the gear.

‘Dean,’ she said quietly, walking over to him and squatting down in front of him, resting her hands on his legs. ‘I know you’re still in there. You have to be.’

‘I’m still him, just less likely to die.’

‘Your chances are still the same. Given his death rate, you haven’t got long.’ Dean grinned at her. ‘Then we should use that time wisely. How about you undo these chains and we go for it on the floor?’

‘Tempting, maybe later.’

‘I can make it more than tempting.’

‘I’m sure you can, I have no doubt in that,’ she smiled, sadly.

She used his legs to push herself up to a standing position and leant down, kissing his head. Dean leant into her kiss, her lips on him only turned him on more, made his desire stronger.

‘Y/N,’ Sam said quietly.

She leant down, putting her lips close to Demon!Dean’s ear and spoke quietly, her breathy whispers enough to send a shiver down his spine, in a good way. What he wouldn’t have given to have his hands free and to be able to pull her into his lap.

‘I love you Dean, I need you to fight this. To come back to me.’

She placed a soft kiss on his jaw and turned to walk over to Sam.

He looked down at her sadly, he knew she was struggling.

‘It’ll be ok.’

Y/N looked over at Dean, and watched as he licked his lips and looked at her. It was killing her to see him like this, to know that he was in there somewhere and that this demon thing was doing everything they had both wanted to do for so long.

‘Y/N,’ Sam said quietly, he put his hand on her back and led her out the room.

The two listened as Dean started yelling for her to come back, not to leave. Sam walked back in and looked at the demonic version of his brother.

‘I warned you, Sammy. I told you not to take her away from me,’ Dean hissed. ‘And while I’m going, touch her again or even look at her and I’ll kill you. She’s mine. You hear that. Mine! And you had better go bring her back in here. Go-,’ his threats were cut off by screams as Sam injected him with the first dose of blood. Y/N sat on the other side of the door sobbing as she listened to Dean’s screams. Fighting back every urge she had to run in there and stop Sam from hurting him. She heard movement coming towards the door and she stood up, catching a glimpse of Dean as Sam came out.

He held her eyes the whole time until the door closed. She looked up at Sam and couldn’t take it anymore. The tears started falling and Sam wrapped her into a hug and tried to comfort her.

As the treatment continued, Sam refused to let Y/N in there. This demon version of Dean was obsessed to say the least, he screamed for her constantly, he threatened Sam and Cas if they didn’t let her come in. He blamed them for keeping her away.

Y/N was fast asleep in bed when she felt someone run their hands up her legs. She froze, and slowly opened her eyes, preparing to attack.

‘Dean?’ she gasped.

‘Hey, Sweetheart,’ he murmured huskily into her neck.

‘What are you doing here?’

‘I’m fixed, I guess. Just got up and walked on out.’

‘You walked out?’

‘Baby, stop talking. We can do that later,’ Dean smiled, kissing her.

‘I just want to know what’s going on,’ she tried.

This wasn’t right, something wasn’t right. Her body screamed for him to continue. She had wanted this for so long, but her mind and heart screamed run.

‘Baby, I’ll be back in a minute,’ she said calmly, going to sit up.

Dean pushed her back down on the bed and held her there.

‘Where exactly are you going, Sweetheart?’

‘I need to ask Sam something and then I’ll be right back and we can finish this off,’ she smiled.

‘No! You’re mine not his, you don’t need to ask him anything,’ Dean growled. ‘You’re my girl. Mine!’

Dean looked at the woman he’d pinned down, the one that was once again his brother was trying to keep from him. He was going to find Sam in a minute and kill him. Just as soon as he finally got to be with her.

‘I’m yours Dean, don’t doubt that. I just need to make sure that Sam finished his treatments, that’s all.’

Dean pushed his hand behind her head and yanked her up so she was sitting facing him. He kissed her roughly and looked at her.

‘I don’t want the treatments, Y/N. I like the disease.’

He watched as fear and panic crossed her face. This made him mad, she shouldn’t fear him. He’d never hurt her.

‘You like it?’

‘I’m stronger, there’s no regret, no guilt and I have you. You’re mine. I was too weak for that before. Too weak to handle you.’

‘No, you weren’t. We were too strong, too stubborn. Dean, we were so scared that the other would get hurt, of the pain if we lost one another. We did everything but have a relationship.’

‘We have that now, so it’s better. Trust me, Sweetheart, I can take care of you in everyway. In ways you never dreamed of.’

He ran his hand over her body, letting his fingers roam.

‘Dean, please,’ she begged. ‘Let me talk to Sam. You said you trusted me, do it. Please.’

Dean ignored her and Y/N felt tears in her eyes. She was running out of options. She didn’t want to fight him. She couldn’t.

‘I’m sorry,’ she whispered.

Dean stopped and looked at her.

‘Sam!’ she screamed.

Dean’s eyes flicked black as the anger washed over him.

‘You’re mine! Not his!’ he screamed, hitting her.

Y/N lay there frozen, holding her face, she knew what the demon was like. How many people he had killed just because. She also knew her Dean was under it and what he was like. She had avoided upsetting him for that reason. Her Dean wouldn’t hurt her, he wouldn’t want to and it would kill him knowing that the demon was.

The demon looked at her and stopped before his fist came down a second time.

‘I’m sorry, Baby. I shouldn’t have.’

He leant down and kissed her again, making it better. Her face was damaged and that made him mad. Her beauty marked. While it would heal, he would be reminded of it until it did. This was Sam’s fault. Sam was the one that made him do it. That made her call for him. The way he controls her was ruining everything. It needed to stop.

The door burst open and Sam took in the scene.

‘Dean, get off her,’ he yelled, raising a gun.

‘Really, Sammy, you think that will work?’

Dean looked down at Y/N who now had tears in her eyes and kissed her again.

‘Baby, I’ll be back in a minute. We can finish then. I’m going to go show Sammy here why he should have stayed away from my girl.’

Sam looked at Y/N and then Dean who was climbing off her and ran. He felt bad leaving her behind but he had a feeling she wasn’t in any danger.

Y/N flew out of bed and chased after the two men, trying to come up with a way to get Dean. She called for Cas over and over, hoping he could help. She even considered calling Crowley, but there wasn’t much he could do.

She ran into the electronics room, and put the bunker into lock down. At the very least, hopefully he couldn’t escape. She ran through the halls looking for the two men, eventually finding Dean beating Sam up. She ran up and pushed him off of him, screaming for him to stop.

Dean shifted her out the way so she didn’t get hurt and grabbed the hammer, preparing to swing it at Sam. Y/N threw herself in between the two men.

‘Dean!’ she cried.

The hammer smashed into the tiles, the ceramic shattering and shards of it hitting her cutting her face.

‘Get out of the way, Y/N!’ Dean growled.

The demon’s stance softening just slightly when he saw the blood starting to run down her head. His anger quickly coming back with force towards his brother. She would never have been hurt if he hadn’t of been here.

‘Baby, move!’ the Demon demanded.

‘Dean, please. Stop,’ she cried.

Dean went to grab her arm, when a pair of arms wrapped around him.

‘Enough, Dean. It’s over,’ Cas growled in his ear.

Dean watched as Y/N turned and dropped to help Sam. He continued to fight and try and break free of the angel’s grasp but failed.

‘Dean,’ Y/N said softly. ‘No more fighting.’

He stopped struggling and just looked at her. She stood up, tears running down her face.

‘I’ll stay with you, just stop fighting,’ she said quietly.

‘Y/N,’ Sam tried.

Dean’s eyes flashed black and he looked at Sam with nothing but hatred.

‘No Sam, not this time. If it helps, I’ll stay.’

She held out her hand for Dean to take and walked with him into the dungeon where Sam and Cas tied him back up.

They continued with the treatment and Dean didn’t move, didn’t falter, didn’t even speak. He just spent the whole time watching her. He screamed as the pain ripped through him, and felt his grip on her hand tighten. He watched as tears rolled down her cheeks, with each injection.

She sat on the floor next to him, still holding his hand and watching as he screamed with each injection, before finally passing out. She went to remove her hand, but his grip only tightened.

She too eventually fell asleep listening as Cas and Sam talked quietly. She stirred as water hit her face. She sat up and looked at Dean.

Dean watched as Y/N’s eyes looked right at him.

‘You’re back?’ she whispered.

He nodded and watched as she jumped up and undone his bindings, before hugging him. Dean held her tight and memories and guilt washed through him, what he did, what he wanted to do. He pulled back and moved away from her.

Y/N let him do what he needed and stood back quietly while the men talked. Dean eventually leaving to go to this room and Sam off to do research.  

She knocked on the door and let herself in.

‘Hey,’ she said quietly, watching as Dean put some photo’s away.

‘Y/N, I’m so sorry.’

‘Dean, it wasn’t you. You don’t have to apologise.’

‘The things I did, wanted to do, tried to do…’

‘Things you didn’t do,’ she added, she walked over and sat next to him on the bed.

Dean, touched her temple gently, the butterfly strips holding the cut closed.

‘Things I did,’ he said.

Y/N reached over and took his hand.

‘I thought I lost you. That you’d…’ she struggled to get the words out.

Dean watched as tears rolled down her cheek.

‘It’s so stupid we spent all this time fighting how we feel because it was supposed to stop the pain. It never did. It made it worse. There is so much I should have said. So much we should have done.’

Dean looked down at her and knew she was right. He’d known for a while. His biggest regret was not telling her before going in to fight Metatron. But he also knew he wasn’t safe to be around, he could feel it. The demon, the call of the mark. And while right now it seemed to have eased, he knew it was only a matter of time until he lost control.

Funnily enough, he knew the demon side of him wouldn’t touch her, not like that that. He’d do everything else. But he wouldn’t kill her. The mark though, that was what truly scared him.

He pushed his hand into her hair and and pulled her in, kissing her, he should have done it years ago. He felt his tears rolling down his face. God, he loved this woman more than life. More than anything. She tasted every bit as good as he expected, sweeter even. His kiss grew more intense, more desperate and he forced himself to stop.

‘I love you,’ he said huskily.

‘I love you too, Dean.’

He kissed her again softly and closed his eyes.

‘I want you to get your gear and get out.’

‘What?’

‘You heard. I need you gone, Y/N.’

‘But…?’

‘No. There can’t be an us. Ever. And I can’t have you here. Not anymore.’

He watched as her entire world fell apart, as she tried to protest, as she begged for him not to do this. But he didn’t listen. For her own safety she had to go.

‘Pack up and leave. You have an hour or I’ll make you leave with nothing.’

‘Dean,’ she cried.

‘I’m sorry, Sweetheart, but it’s what’s best for you.’

He got up and walked out leaving her there on his bed crying. Y/N walked out into the library 45 minutes later and found her bags packed and dumped on the floor, Dean no where in sight.

‘I’m sorry, Y/N,’ Sam said quietly.

‘You’re supporting this?’

‘Apparently he needs to know you’re safe and this is the the best way.’

‘It’s bullshit,’ she snapped.

‘Yeah, I can’t argue that. I’ll talk to him, see what I can do. Just give him time. He’s pretty cut up about what happened, about hurting you, and what he did.’

‘He tried to kill you,’ she pointed out.

Sam gave her a sad smile and helped her pick up her bags.

Dean sat against the wall, bottle of whiskey in hand, listening as Y/N continued to protest his decision. He wiped his hand over his face, trying to wipe away the tears. He didn’t want her to go. He didn’t want her anywhere but right beside him. But he wanted her safe and he couldn’t guarantee that when he was around.

He listened as her car drove out of the garage and the threw the bottle of alcohol against the wall as he broke down.

He just hoped that one day, she would forgive. That one day if this all ended, she’d still love him.

Fight for Me

Hello My Lovelies,

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories. Masterlist

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                              Request                                          Fight for Me

For your my Dear @msimpala67

Authors Note: Mentions planned suicide. Possible triggers. Love You, Chicky. xx

 WORD COUNT: 3980

As she lay there staring at her hands and arms, Y/N knew it was back. That brief point in which she was finally starting to think things were getting better. That she had finally gained control over the the crap cards life had dealt her.

She looked up at the light above her, the glass crunching under her head. She was struggling to bring herself to move.

The blood pulsed through her ears, her breathing sounded like she was screaming. She lay there knowing there wasn’t anything else she could do for herself, at least not at the moment.

Time ticked by slowly, the second hand on the clock mocking her, laughing at how useless she was. Letting her know it was just a matter of time until the next one.

As her head cleared and body allowed her to move again, she slowly pushed her herself up. Crying out as the glass dug further into her hands and wrists. As pain tore through her back, she almost didn’t bother sitting up. The pain was too much to bear. But she had no choice, she would have to stop the bleeding.

She watched as red streams ran along her palms and dripped onto the floor. She could see her life washing away with it. And it was tempting. She had been down this road before, she had decided she was too tired and just couldn’t keep fighting. The pain was just too much, drifting into a world of peace, where it all stopped just seemed so much easier.

She pulled a large piece of glass from her hand and dropped it to the floor, followed by another and another.

She considered her life, her family, her friends. Was she too much of a burden for them? They knew about her seizures. They knew about her back. And we can’t forget her knees. One too many falls, the last one into the edge of a step. While she can walk fine, they ache at times. Just like her back. The pain so bad some days she could barely get out of bed.

But she fought it, she always did. She found ways to manage it, enough that it made it bearable.

A rumble drew her attention to the window and she swore. Then there was them. The Winchesters.

She had known the boys since before she could walk. Dean had been there when she had her first fit. It had scared him as much as it did her. They were in their teens, she remembered waking up to him screaming at her not to die on him. Him cradling her in his arms, his tears running down her cheeks and neck.

He had been the over protective, knight in shining armour ever since. After her parent’s died he had made it to the motel they were staying at, quicker than she expected. Leaving poor Sam stranded in a supermarket.

He’d refused to let her go off on her own. Refused to let her hunt, not that she could blame him. She may have had a fit while hunting a vamp and almost got turned. Dean lost his crap with her that night. It was the first and only time he’d ever raised his voice towards her. First and only time she’d walked out on him.

They’d fixed things of course. She came back later that evening, and found him still in her room. He didn’t say anything, he just pulled her into a hug and held her tight. They lay in her bed and she slept, comfortable, protected, safe. Even her personal demons couldn’t get to her while he was holding her. He didn’t speak until the next morning.

‘I thought I’d lost you. That…I can’t do it, Y/N. This life, it’s crappy enough. To have you leave me as well. I couldn’t do it. I can’t.’

She felt his lips press against her head.

‘I don’t want you hunting anymore. It’s too dangerous.’

‘Weren’t you the one who told me not to let the epilepsy control my life?’

‘That was before I saw you laying there in a pool of your own blood, your neck ripped open.’

She felt him run his fingers along the scar on neck. Followed by his lips, ever so gently trying to kiss it better. The sentiment made her smile. Mary had done it to him every time he’d gotten hurt. And it was something he had always done to her. Every injury she had ever gotten, Dean had kissed better. Even before they could talk. Their parent’s had video’s of Dean kissing her knee when she stumbled and was learning to walk.  

Voices brought her back to reality and she knew she should be getting something to stop the bleeding. But she couldn’t move. She heard knocking on her motel door and watched as the handle turned.

‘I’m just saying, I think it was the butler.’

‘It’s reality not a board…’ Sam’s voice trailed off.

Y/N had barely looked up when Dean was suddenly in front of her. Yanking off his shirt, trying to stop the bleeding.

‘What happened?’

‘I tripped.’

‘Tripped?’

Y/N nodded. She didn’t want to burst his bubble, he had been so excited when they realised that she hadn’t had a fit in a while. That things might finally be looking up. That this diet thing Sam had found on the net was working.

It had been great, her back pain had eased, her seizures non existent, her depression fading into the sunset. Life had no longer become about making it through each second it, she was looking into the future, finally believing she could have a normal life. Something she had always denied herself.

Dean’s hand ran gently over her head, she watched as he pulled them back, blood covering them.

‘Let’s get you into better light, so I can have a look.’

‘I’m fine, Dean. I just needed a moment, before I got up and cleaned it up.’

‘You’re not fine. You’re losing far too much blood and there’s still glass in those cuts,’ he spoke quietly, calmly but under it, she knew he was freaking out.

Dean Winchester, her best friend, her protector and the one person that was there for whenever she needed, without hesitation, without question. He’d leave in the middle of a hunt, middle of sex with some random if she asked or he thought even briefly that she might need him. Never once complaining about it.

‘I’ll clean it up,’ Sam said with a smile.

‘I can do it after. It’s my fault.’

‘It’s fine, Y/N.’

Dean wrapped his arms around her and helped her to her feet. She tried to hide the pain that tore through her back, that ripped her apart but she couldn’t. Dean saw, he always did. She ended up collapsing against him briefly as her back settled into place.

‘You hurt your back again?’

‘Landed wrong, I guess.’

He helped her slowly to the chair and sat her down. He gently unwrapped her hands and looked at them. Pulling out glass, cleaning the cuts. Stitching where it needed it.

‘How many?’ he asked, quietly.

She looked up at Sam, who nodded and walked out giving them privacy.

‘My first.’

Dean looked up at her.

‘I didn’t feel it coming. There was no warning. Well, nothing I noticed.’

‘I should have given you the other room.’

‘The other room had two beds, this had one.’

‘This had a glass table. I could have shared with you. And that’s what’s happening tonight. Sam and you can swap.’

‘Dean.’

‘No arguments.’

‘It’s not like there’s another table left for me to fall through.’

‘No, but you can fall and I know you well enough to know you might. I’m going to be there to catch you. Just like I have every other time.’

She felt the tears in her eyes as she looked at him. She was grateful for everything he did. But she couldn’t help but feel like a burden. He wasn’t wrong, that haze that constantly surrounded her, the one she thought she had finally started to clear was closing back over with each passing second.

‘Didn’t you have plans tonight?’

‘Yup and that’s still happening.’

She looked at him, unsure.

‘Reruns and pizza.’

‘I thought you had a date?’

‘I did, with my one and only.’

She gave him a sad smile and shook her head. She sat quietly while he stitched and bandaged her up.

‘You ok?’ Dean asked after a while as he moved to recheck her head.

She nodded and looked down at the mess covering her hands. She needed to clean up.

‘Want me to come wash your hair. At least rinse the blood out?’ Dean offered. ‘You shouldn’t get your hands too wet, at least not until tomorrow.’

‘There’s a hose in there, I’ll be fine.’

She stood up and went to head into the bathroom when Dean caught her elbow.

‘It’ll be ok. It might have just been the one. And if it’s not, we can deal.’

She pulled her arm away and headed for the bathroom. There was no we. She felt like a burden, like the friendship was more than one way. He did so much for her and despite her efforts she felt like she did so little in return.

She cleaned up as best she could, and sat on the floor of the bathroom. Not wanting to move. She thought back to how bad things got before Sam found the diet online. She didn’t want to go back there. She couldn’t.

A knock on the door startled her out of her daze.

‘Sweetheart?’

She pulled herself up and opened the door to see Dean standing there. She noticed her bags were packed and sitting on the bed.

‘Dean, really I’m fine here.’

‘If I admit it’s more for me then you, will you do it without complaint.’

She looked at him questioningly.

‘Sam snores, your company’s better and I will admit my day is always so much better when I wake up to your beautiful face and not my brother.’

‘I bet you say that to all the women you take home,’ she laughed.

‘Only one.’

Dean picked up her bag and took her hand leading her outside. Sam was coming back across the carpark when he saw them and nodded.

Y/N sat down on what was Sam’s bed and watched as Dean happily moved about the room, chatting away, discussing movie plans for the coming weekend. Telling her about the interviews they had earlier. She gave him a small smile as he flopped down next to her in bed and turned on the TV.

‘Do you want a heat pack or for me to rub some oil onto your back?’

‘It’s fine. I can do it.’

‘I don’t mind. I can-.’

‘Dean, just stop!’

He looked at her like she’d slapped him. She sighed and got up, walking out of the room, leaving him on the bed.

She felt the tears run down her cheeks. She felt even worse now that she did before. Dean came out not long after and sat down next to her.

‘My entire life, you’ve done nothing but rescue me. From falling off my bike, to crappy boyfriends and this. I owe you so much and there’s nothing I can do that will make up for what you do for me.’

‘You don’t have to do anything, Y/N. I do it because I care, because I want to. Because it’s you. And because I’d rather never hunt again and spend every waking hour by your side then see you hurt or worse. You’re all I need.’

She looked down at her hands, wishing that was true. That her friendship was enough. Dean took her hand and gently kissed the bandage on it.

‘Your smile, your laugh, you just being happy is enough. Knowing I helped make that happen. Well, that’s my own selfish reward.’

She felt his lips on her head, as he shifted his arm around her and pulled her in for a hug.

‘Wanna watch TV still tonight or go out and have a drink.’

‘I have no idea.’

She sat there, her head resting on his shoulder.

‘Sweetheart?’

‘Mmm.’

‘Your stance on not dating anyone? Does it still stand?’

‘I’m really not wanting to be set up with one of your hunter friends, Dean,’ she sighed.

‘No, that wasn’t it,’ he mumbled.

‘Yes, it still stands. I’m not someone people are wanting to date. There’s too much baggage. You can go to a bar if you want. I’m staying in.’

‘I love you, Y/N.’

‘I love you too, Dean. But I’m still not going to the bar.’

‘That’s not-.’

Sam came out of the motel, interrupting Dean as he tried to explain things.

‘Sorry, but we have another body.’

Dean looked at Y/N unsure.

‘Go, I’m going to go inside and go to sleep.’

Dean waited until she was in bed, before grabbing his gear.

‘Can we talk later?’

‘Of course.’

He leant down and kissed her forehead, ‘Call me if anything happens.’

She nodded and watched him leave, listening to the sound of the impala as it faded out.

She climbed out of bed and pulled some paper and a pen from her bag and wrote Dean a note.

Don’t hate me and don’t be mad. But I can’t keep letting you do this. It’s not fair that you feel the need to put your on life on hold because of me. You shouldn’t have to keep rescuing me, Dean. It’s not fair. I need to learn to cope alone.

Go live your life, as best you can given the hunt. Go find yourself a girl, God this got so crappy that I can’t even remember the last time you did. But go be happy. Stop worrying about me and start enjoying your own life. I’ll be fine.

I love you.

Y/N

She placed it on the bed, grabbed her bags and walked out.

She made her way to another motel in town and booked a room. She had plans to leave, but she didn’t know how long it would be before Dean saw the note and if the buses hadn’t left well, he’d find her cause some issues. She sat down on the bed and considered her options. Unfortunately, she didn’t feel like she had many. She took out the pen and paper and got to work making one last letter.

Two hours later, she was surprised to hear the song Can’t take my eye’s off of you- by Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons. She chuckled, knowing Dean had been playing with her phone again. He randomly went in and personalised his ringtone when he was bored.

She waited until it went to message bank and the alert came through for her to check it.

‘Y/N, answer the phone. Or let me know where you are. We need to talk. And I’m not doing this over the phone.’

She listened as he struggled to stay calm, to keep from yelling. He had been, she could hear that scratchy hoarse sound in his voice. She felt bad for Sam, who probably coped the brunt of it.

Her phone rang again a few minutes later. And again after that. She groaned and answered.

‘Where are you?’

‘This isn’t living your life.’

‘Where are you?’

‘Dean,’ she sighed.

‘Do not even try and justify this right now, Y/N.’

Tears burned in her eyes at the amount of anger seething through the phone. She went to talk when he stopped her.

‘I’m not doing this over the phone. You told me we could talk. I want my conversation. And I sure as hell want the chance to fight you on this. Running off when I leave for a hunt. What were you thinking?’

‘If I did it when you were around, you would have stopped me.’

‘Damn straight! Now, what room number?’

She groaned and peeked out of her curtains.

‘Open the door, Y/N.’

She sighed and opened the door a crack, only to have Dean grab her arm and pushed her gently into the room, closing the door behind him.

‘I’m going to pretend that you didn’t even leave that note. I’ll put it down to some kind of seizure thing. Because only an idiot would think that I needed you out of my life. That I wasn’t enjoying it.’

She looked to the floor and watched her feet.

‘I’m happiest when I’m with you,’ Dean said quietly.

‘How does this not bother you? You spend more time worrying about me then living your life.’

‘I’d worry about you if didn’t have this. I want to worry. It’s you,’ he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. ‘There’s a reason I don’t see other women, why I’m always around you.’

‘Because I sap the enjoyment from your life.’

‘Because you are the enjoyment. Y/N, you are my life. I’m not with anyone else because I’m waiting for you. God, I’ve been waiting for you to want to date someone, anyone since we were 15.’

Her eyes grew wide as she looked at him.

‘I’ve tried to tell you, so many times. But well, I’m not too good at obvious and your crap at subtlety.’

‘I rescue you because I have to. I can’t not. I’m always around, because there’s no other place I’d rather be. And if you’re hurting, then so am I. I love you and everything that comes with who you are.’

‘But-.’

‘No buts, the good, the bad, the ugly. All of it. I want to be there, by choice, to catch you whenever you fall, or even sway.’ He moved in closer and wrapped his arms around her waist. ‘I want to hold you up and so tight that you can’t do anything other than stand tall and strong. But if you do manage to fall, you will never hit the bottom, I won’t let you.’

She felt the tears running down her cheeks. She felt him lightly kiss her cheeks and her eyes. Before softly placing a kiss on her lips. He pulled back slightly and looked at her before kissing her again. This time with so much passion and love, she thought she might combust.

As she came out into the bedroom later, she found Dean sitting on her bed reading something. She watched as he wiped his face, his eyes red, his cheeks damp. And realised he had found the letter she wrote earlier. She swore silently. He was going to be pissed.

‘You…when?’

‘Later tonight.’

Dean nodded, getting up he walked out. Leaving her standing in the room alone. She watched as he came back in and went to talk, but couldn’t. He walked out again, slamming the door behind him.

He came in once more and shut the door, locking it. She watched as he went over to the dining table and pulled two chairs out so they were facing each other, gesturing for her to sit.

She stayed where she was. She didn’t trust he wasn’t going to tie her to the chair somehow.

‘Sit,’ he ordered, his voice dangerously quiet.

She shook her head.

‘I wasn’t giving you an option.’

‘I was,’ she sat on the bed and watched as Dean sighed and pulled a chair over in front of her.

He sat there staring at her intently. She felt herself getting more self conscious by the minute.

‘You really were going to?’ he asked quietly, the pain ripping her heart out.

‘You don’t know what it’s like. The pain, the fits, the quality of life. I can’t go back to how bad it was. Last time… I can’t do that again.’

‘So you gave up? Just like that?’

‘It wasn’t just like that.’

‘You don’t even know they are going to get that bad again.’

‘I don’t want to risk it.’

‘So instead you take the easy path, quit, give up on the fight.’

‘Dean, it’s not easy and I’m not quitting. I’m tired. I just want to be pain free.’

‘So we try other things. There’s plenty of treatments still left. But you don’t give up. You don’t quit.’

She buried her head in her hands and fought back tears. She felt Dean lean in towards her and kiss her head, then her temple, then her ear.

‘You’re what I’m fighting for. You’re the reason I want this world a better place. What am I meant to fight for if you’re not in it?’ he whispered.

He gently moved her hands from her face and tilted her head so she was looking at him.

‘I fight to come home to you each time I go out. And I finally got to tell you how I feel and I’m counting on years, and I’m talking decades of getting to show and tell you over and over again. Don’t you dare take that away from me.’

He kissed her gently and rested his forehead against hers.

‘You said you didn’t know what you could do for me. What would make up for everything I’ve done. Your life, that’s what you owe me. A long, happy, dies of natural causes when your old and grey life. Not before, not at your own hand, not on some suicide hunt. Old age and in our bed and not before. Do you understand?!’

‘Our bed?’

‘Oh, Sweetheart,’ he grinned. ‘If you think I’m letting you sleep alone, your mistaken. I’m going to use this as my excuse for constant supervision. In bed, in the shower, in the kitchen. I’ve got plans that involve no clothes, and lots of checking to make sure that you are not injured in any way.’

She shook her head and smiled at him. That playful side that didn’t come out all that often.

‘That’s my girl,’ he said, kissing her. ‘I meant what I said, I’m here for you. No matter what. So’s Sam, he’s just not allowed to get in on the supervision thing. That’s all me. You’re not alone in this. We will fight it with you, we will take some of the burden and do what we can to help reduce the tiredness. Even if it’s living a normal life for a while, with a decent bed or finding so spell that can help. What ever it takes.’

‘I don’t know if I can.’

‘You can, you got this far. I won’t let you fall. Ever. Besides, you have a future to fight for. One I’m hoping I’m a part of.’

She felt a smile tug on her lips and watched as he grinned at her.

‘Now. I have some business to take care of.’

She looked at him confused momentarily as he pulled a lighter out his pocket and burnt her letter.

‘Now to the other part.’

He gently took off her shirt and had her lay down so he could rub her back, as his hands worked at easing some of the pain, she felt his lips softly move against her skin, slowly covering every part of her shoulders, she felt his fingers under her bra as his lips moved down her back.

He made his way back up to her neck and moved along her jaw.

‘I am going to kiss every part of you better, then I’m going to hold you and constantly remind myself that I finally manned up enough to get my girl. And then come tomorrow, we are starting fresh. We are going to come up with a plan to fight this together. You’re not alone, Y/N. You never have been and you never will be. It may feel like it. But I’m always, always here for you.’

In Sickness and in Health

Enjoy, My Lovelies. Bec xx

                                       In Sickness and in Health Word Count: 3600

She sighed and sat back against the table in the library. Her brother in law looked at her and smiled gently.

‘Is it really that bad?’ Sam prompted gently.

‘Your brother hates me, he hates the fact that you let me tag along and I really don’t think that leaving us alone together is a good idea,’ she argued. ‘I thought you said he was going with you?’

‘He was, but he decided to take the week off. It’s research and more my thing than his.’

She pouted and watched as Sam’s smile only grew.

‘You look so much like Jess right now,’ his voice slightly pained.

Keep reading

In My Arms

Hello My Lovelies,

For ease of access please find below links to all my previous stories. Masterlist

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                                   Request                                                 In My Arms

Anonymous said to 5minutefanfiction:

Could you possibly do a DeanxReader where she takes a pretty nasty hit to the head and ends up with a concussion with basically every concussion symptom possible? Dean has to keep waking her up every few hours to check on her and she’s abnormally clingy and it’s ridiculously fluffy? I could use some Dean fluff in my life right now.

  Authors Note: Sorry for the wait. I think my brain died. I am struggling to finish a story atm. Beginning it is fine but ending them just isn’t happening.

  WORD COUNT: 3220

‘Y/N!’ Dean screamed at the hunter, in a vain attempt to give her some kind of warning.

Y/N turned towards him, her hair blowing around her face as she looked at him wide eyed. Nothing could be done to stop it.

In that moment time seemed to slow down and yet at that same moment everything happened so fast, nothing could be done.

The werewolf collided with her, knocking her off her feet as a shot rang out through the air.

Dean knew it was risky and he hoped like hell that bullet went through the mutt and not Y/N. But he couldn’t have it bite her.

Blood spurted through the air and he knew he had hit something vital. He ran over towards them, praying to God it wasn’t her.

He yanked the werewolf from her, holding his breath as he he looked down at her. She wasn’t moving and there was blood covering her shirt.

Keep reading

Saving Grace

Here you go, My Lovelies. I hope you enjoy it. You can find my

Masterlist

over at my author blog on wordpress. Sorry that you are being diverted, but tumblr still haven’t fixed the issue with links on my page.

Bec xx

                                                    Saving Grace                                                    (Dean x Reader)

                                                    Daddy!Dean AU

Word Count: approx. 9,700

I’ve had this finished for a week now, but honest to God I couldn’t come up with a title. It’s been driving me nuts. Even now it’s not right.

  Dean raced from the car, leaving the driver’s door open, engine idling. This was the last thing he needed, it only made him an even crappier father than the one that dropped his daughter off late this morning. He raced through the corridors and into room 102. Swearing quietly when he remembered Ellie’s class was 103.

He burst through the door and found his Princess talking happily with a Y/C/H woman about his age.

‘Daddy!’ Ellie squealed as she ran towards him.

Keep reading

When the Past Returns - Part 2

Here you go, My Lovelies. I hope you enjoy it. You can find my

Masterlist

over at my author blog on wordpress. Sorry that you are being diverted, but tumblr still haven’t fixed the issue with links on my page.

Bec xx

                                 When the Past Returns- Part two                                                (Dean x Reader)

Part One can be found here: When The Past Returns

Tagging thsoe that asked: @thegreatficmaster  @lullabyjensen

Word Count: 6,700

Dean sighed as he got out and stretched. Another town another hunt. He was over it. His heart wasn’t in it anymore. It hadn’t been for a little over two years now.

‘Dean,’ Sam gasped, suddenly.

Dean looked up sadly at his brother, only half interested in what was wrong.

‘We need to leave, now!’

‘Why, I thought this is where the shif-,’ he stopped and looked over at the woman crossing the street, the pre-schooler skipping happily beside her, holding her hand. His chest grew tight as he watched them. Charlie’s head turned, the sun catching her bright green eyes causing them to sparkle. Her hair now long and running most of the way down her back. He looked Y/N over, she hadn’t changed much. But Charlie, she had grown so much.

Keep reading

When The Past Returns

Here you go, My Lovelies. I hope you enjoy it. You can find my

Masterlist

over at my author blog on wordpress. Sorry that you are being diverted, but tumblr still haven’t fixed the issue with links on my page.

Bec xx

                                        When The Past Returns                                                (Dean x Reader)

Word Count: approx. 14,800

 Enjoy, My Lovelies. This is one of four major ones I have had on the go the past couple of weeks. xx PS Hope you have coffee it’s long.

The two men sat on the black impala, watching the apartment burn. There was nothing else they could do. The flames bounced off the shining black paintwork, revealing her painful death, no matter what way they turned. The police moved about them asking questions and Dean knew it was time to go.

‘Sammy, we need to move.’

His little brother looked up at him, tears and anger filled his eyes. Dean watched as he nodded before climbing into the car. As they started to make their way out of town, Sam panicked.

‘Turn right!’

‘What?’

‘Right, here now!’

Keep reading

Sands of Time

Here you go, My Lovelies. I hope you enjoy it. You can find my

                                            Masterlist

over at my author blog on wordpress. Sorry that you are being diverted, but tumblr still haven’t fixed the issue with links on my page.

Bec xx

                                               Sands of Time

                                               (Dean x Reader)

Word Count: approx. 4,700

Dean walked into the library, shoving another fork full of pie into his face. Life was good, it certainly wasn’t great. He took another bite as he started to sulk, ok life sucked. But at least the pie was good. A voice caught his attention and he glanced over at the table, watching as his brother did something on his computer as he talked to someone.

‘Did she say what she was hunting?… Nah, never heard of it… And you’re sure that’s where she was headed?’

Dean frowned, watching his brother carefully, wondering who he was talking about. He scooped up another piece of pie as he listened to his brother talk.

‘No, it’s fine. We’ll be leaving in the hour, probably less given it’s Y/N.’

Dean froze, the pie on his lips. He looked wide eyed at Sam, who nodded sadly. Dean dropped the pie on the table and took off, he grabbed his half packed duffle, not caring that it was low on supplies. That would have to do. He wasn’t waiting around to pack.

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In My Darkest Hour

Here you go, My Lovelies. I hope you enjoy it. You can find my Masterlist over at my author blog on wordpress. Sorry that you are being diverted, but tumblr still haven’t fixed the issue with links on my page.

Bec xx

                                          In My Darkest Hour

                                             (Dean x Reader)

Word Count: approx. 7,000

Sam’s arm wrapped around his brother as he helped him climb out of the impala.

‘You’d better be sure about this,’ Dean grumbled.

‘I’m pretty sure it, I mean it fits.’

Dean grumbled some more and winced as the two men made their way slowly towards the emergency room.

‘I’d better get a hot nurse and a sponge bath,’ Dean grimaced, as he slumped against his brother.

‘Help, please, someone help!’ Sam yelled. ‘He’s been stabbed.’

Keep reading

One in Four

Here you go, My Lovelies. I hope you enjoy it. You can find my

Masterlist

over at my author blog on wordpress. Sorry that you are being diverted, but tumblr still haven’t fixed the issue with links on my page.

Bec xx

                                                  One in Four                                                (Dean x Reader)

Ah, don’t hate me. Warnings- sad, depressing, cry worthy. Miscarriage.

@thegreatficmaster are you sure you’re ready? ;p

Word Count: approx. 2, 200

One in four, that’s what the doctor had told them. One in four end in heartbreak. One in four end in tears. The doctor didn’t know anything. The douche should never have even touched her. He should never have even talked to her.

One in four, Dean growled silently as he downed another glass. That one in four end in “I’m sorry.” One in four end in empty arms.

Keep reading

Another Matter

Hello My Lovelies,

You can access the MASTERLIST here at my wordpress blog.

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                               Supernatural                                             Another Matter

                                            (Dean x Reader)

  Authors Note: Tonight’s effort. Guess who’s writing is still coming out like crap. Sorry it’s terrible guys. But it’s something.

  WORD COUNT: 2,400

Dean looked up as the door of the bunker opened. His mood darkening slightly. She’d moved out, she chose to leave and yet she felt as if she could just waltz on in any time she wanted.

‘Is he here?’ she questioned, walking down the stairs.

‘Nope,’ he answered sharply, bringing his beer to his lips.

‘When did you last hear from him?’

Dean raised an eyebrow, he didn’t have to answer her. His life, Sam’s life was none of her business. Sure, they still hunted together. But if she couldn’t handle the bunker when they weren’t hunting, she had no entitlement to their personal lives.

Keep reading

Dream A Little Dream

Hello My Lovelies,

You can access the MASTERLIST here at my wordpress blog.

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                              Supernatural                                     Dream A Little Dream

                                          (Dean x Reader)

  WORD COUNT: 3,100

‘Dean,’ she called, softly.

He headed through the dark towards her. It had been too long without contact. It was always too long. It didn’t matter if it was seconds, hours, days, it was always too long.

‘Dean. It’s time to go. They need you in Wisconsin.’

‘I’m needed here,’ he grinned as he closed in on her. The shadows covered her face but it didn’t matter. He didn’t need to see her to know how beautiful she looked.

‘Go to Fairchild,’ she said sadly.

He reached for her, his hand missing as she stepped back further into the darkness. A strangled cry caught in his throat. As he reached out again.

‘Sweetheart,’ he pleaded, moving towards her. He couldn’t have her move out of reach. Not again.

‘Wake up, Dean. They need you,’ she called, her voice fading as she disappeared into the depths.

Keep reading

You Are What You Eat

Hello My Lovelies,

You can access the MASTERLIST here at my wordpress blog.

Regards, Bec Xxx

                                               Supernatural                                       You Are What You Eat

                                             (Dean x Reader)

Authors Note: Guess who finally thinks that she has one story that seems ok enough to post. We won’t discuss how many finished or almost finished ones I have that I’ve written off. L Even my manuscripts suck atm.

WORD COUNT: 1,690

Y/N groaned softly once more, wishing she had the guts to say no. To turn him down. But she knew better than anyone that would never happen. And now, she was pay the price.

She heard the soft click of her motel door, knowing without looking who had entered her room and why. She sighed with relief, rubbing the towel through her hair as she exited the bathroom.

‘You’ve only just finished?’ Sam gasped. ‘Christ, Y/N, it’s getting worse.’

‘I know,’ she groaned, eyeing off the bag in his hands, as her stomach lurched again.

‘You have to tell him.’

‘I tried Sam, so many times. But even bringing it up is impossible.’

She burped involuntarily, her hand flying to her mouth as she half expected it to follow through. She sighed with relief as her stomach settled once more. She collapsed into the bed, waiting for the wave of nausea to pass.

‘Y/N, he’d understand,’ Sam sighed, placing the bag on the table. He crossed the room and ran a hand over her head.

Y/N groaned as she let out another gag, ‘Tell me there’s something that will save me in your bag?’

‘Apples and nectarines.’

‘Thank God,’ she whispered, pushing herself up. ‘This is why I didn’t want to hunt with you two again. Why I need to get away. I can’t keep doing this. I’m done, Sammy. After this hunt, I’m out,’ she admitted.

The creak of the motel door drew their attention to the front of the room, Y/N looked up as a heartbroken and incredibly pissed off Dean stood staring at them.

‘Ah…bye,’ Sam said quickly.

‘Jerk,’ she hissed.

Dean watched as Sam left before stepping into the room, closing the door behind him.

‘Explain?’

‘Ah…what exactly?’

‘Everything, from why my brother is sneaking into my girl’s room every night to why I heard you say you were out.’

‘Let’s skip all that and focus on the more important part of that statement, I’m not your girl, Dean,’ she sighed.

‘That’s crap and you know it. We may not be official but you’re my girl. Have been for years. Unless something’s changed and suddenly, you belong to someone else,’ he hissed.

‘There’s nothing going on with, Sammy and me. Nor is there anything going on with you and I. You made that clear years ago.’

‘That never exactly stopped us, Y/N.’

‘Well, it did. It’s not like we’re hooking up,’ she grumbled.

‘Except when we’re drunk.’

‘And then you sober up and tell me it should never have happened.’

Dean sighed, ‘Is this what all this is about?’

‘No,’ she admitted. ‘But it doesn’t help.’

Dean moved closer to her and sat down on the bed. The smell of burgers and fries filled her senses and it got too much. She took off again, throwing up once more.

She could hear Dean swear and movement behind her. A glass of water appeared in front of her as she sat back giving her stomach a chance to settle.

Dean helped her stand and gave her room to brush her teeth and clean up. She took her time, hoping to avoid the confrontation that was about to happen. She’d tried so hard to tell him so many times, but he always changed the subject or brushed it off.

She walked into the main room, avoiding him as he watched her carefully. Neither spoke. The silence that filled the room was deafening. She tried to explain, but knew it wouldn’t come out right. That he wouldn’t understand. Not this.

She glanced over at him, to see him deep in thought. Occasionally his lips shifted as if he was about to talk but then stopped himself.

‘How long have you known?’ he asked quietly.

‘A while,’ she admitted.

His nostrils flared as he stiffly nodded his head. He was madder than she expected.

‘You’re hiding it well.’

‘I wasn’t exactly hiding it, Dean. You just never paid enough attention.’

Dean frowned at her, she knew what he was thinking. He paid more attention to her than anyone else in world. Unfortunately for him right now, it was the wrong attention. The vein on his neck bulged as he slipped back into a rage.

She sighed and got up, now that the tornado in her stomach had settled and made her way to the fridge pulling out a beer. She cracked the lid and was pressing the bottle to her lips when it suddenly disappeared.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?’ he shouted.

‘Drowning my sorrows?’ she offered, with a shrug reaching for the bottle.

‘This isn’t some game, Y/N! Do you have any kind of idea what alcohol can do?’

‘Make me sleep better, help me forget this whole conversation, and maybe give me the courage to go hook up with some random and vent some stress!’

She wasn’t sure which part but something set him off. He went through a fit of rage, swearing at her, abusing her stupidity, unable to believe that she of all people would take such a dumbass risk, especially at the moment.

She did a double take, as his rant continued. Her jaw dropping even further as his anger dissipated and a million other emotions took over.

‘What?’ she whispered.

‘I know that we didn’t plan it, but I’m here for you and our kid, Y/N. I’ll help anyway I can. I settle down, find a job, support you both. I’ll do right by you, I swear.’

‘Dean-.’

‘I know I was the one who keeps saying we can’t be together. But this life, hunting, having you fight these bastards by my side, knowing that they will see you. That it puts you at risk. I can’t do that. But I won’t let my kid be raised as a hunter,’ he said quietly, reaching out he gently ran his fingers across her stomach. ‘We’ll find a place, somewhere nice and quiet. Someplace safe. I’ll find a job and we can be a family. I’ll be a good dad and husband. I love you, Y/N. Have for years. You know that. And this, this is the best news I’ve had. I just wish you had of told me earlier. I want to be a part of it, I want to experience it. I want-.’

‘Dean, I’m not pregnant,’ she whispered.

His brow furrowed deeply as he blinked at her, ‘Not pregnant?’

She shook her head, as she watched him blink back tears that had started to form.

‘Oh.’

‘I have an intolerance to the food you keep buying me. The oil that they use for the fries and to cook the burgers, it makes me sick. And we have that much of it that my reaction now happens with almost all junk food.’

Dean’s jaw dropped as he listened to her explain it all.

‘Sam’s in here each night as he brings me fruit or salads. I throw up everything I eat and to begin with, I lost a lot of weight. My leaving, is because I can’t keep doing this. It’s taking its toll. I’m so flat and struggling to recoup the energy I’m losing through vomiting and all that.’

‘You’re allergic to burgers?’

‘Intolerant and yes. That and other things. I can have them, in small doses. But you keep buying them daily, sometimes twice daily. Christ, last week it was all three meals and snacks.’

Dean dropped his eyes to floor, ‘Sorry,’ he mumbled. ‘Why didn’t you say anything?’

‘Cos I didn’t want to upset you. I tried to be subtle about it, but you didn’t pick up on it. And I really didn’t want to cop your crap because I couldn’t have it and have to eat rabbit food 95 per cent of the time.’

‘I wouldn’t be a dick about it,’ he argued.

‘One word: Sam.’

‘Not to you,’ he corrected, looking up with a grin.

She smiled at him.

‘Y/N, I’d cross states to get you what you needed. I got you burgers cos I thought you liked them.’

She shook her head, ‘Ah no, I smile through it forcing back a gag as I eat it politely,’ she mumbled.

Dean’s jaw dropped, before he groaned, taking a swig of her beer.

‘That’s mine,’ she sulked.

His eyes dropped to her stomach, ‘You’re sure?’

‘Yes. There’s no baby.’

He nodded, handing the bottle over reluctantly.

‘You actually seem disappointed.’

‘I am,’ he admitted sheepishly. ‘Can’t say kids were on the radar, but I thought it had happened. And with you. Nothing made me happier.’

She gave him a sad smile, before downing half the bottle. Dean raised an eyebrow as he looked at her.

‘One day. Maybe. We need to solve the dating/no dating issue first,’ she pointed out.

‘Mmm,’ Dean admitted, heading to her fridge. ‘Not much to sort out. You’re my girl, Y/N. Always have been. Always will be.’

‘Not your girl when you don’t want to be with me.’

‘I want to, you know that.’

‘Not your girl when you think you can’t be with me.’

‘I know I can’t, you know that,’ he grinned, stepping towards her.

‘Not your girl when you won’t let it happen.’

Dean sighed, as he smirked at her, ‘Ok, I can’t argue that. But for the record you’re my girl.’

‘One day. Maybe. When you’re ready to settle down,’ she smiled.

‘Will you settle for eating healthy, staying by your side and willing to date behind the scenes?’

She pursed her lips as she pretended to think about it. Dean’s lips brushed against hers. That was as good as she’d be getting at this point. Dating behind closed doors. Away from the eyes of monsters.

‘I’d have gone vegan, gluten, dairy free, if that’s what it takes to make you stay,’ Dean said quietly. ‘I would have done it from day one if you had of told me.’

She felt her cheeks burn slightly.

‘No more secrets,’ Dean demanded gently as his hands slipped across her waist. ‘And no more denial.’

She nodded, smiled as he kissed her softly. It wasn’t such a terrible night after all.

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