☆ㄴ ap ㄱ☆

    he almost wants to say ‘as if i’d forget’ but considering how many memories he did lose, it almost seems in poor taste. but of all the things to remember, he’s glad it was her. cloud nods when she asks, near entranced by the warmth in her gaze. a part of him is too proud to spill the story he knows is on the tip of his tongue but god help him, tifa could get anything out of him without even trying.  ❛ you know when i was with soldier on that mission to nibleheim with zack…i almost didn’t wanna go. i was so nervous to see you again and zack, he was tellin’ me the whole time to just do it, to just go over and talk to you. sometimes i wish i did. but i remember that when i finally did, it was almost too late. i think that’s why it’s the memory i remembered this whole time; because i told myself, i’d die trying if it meant protecting you.  ❜ or at least try as he may. turns out that out of the two of them, tifa’s the one who’s always protecting him and as long as he’s being honest here: he’s more than ok with that. 

   she looks up at him, can’t help the pink that glows upon the apples of her cheeks, accentuates the ruby in her eyes. stars practically shine in ‘em, she doesn’t need to hear the words that he might be thinking, can just tell from the look upon his face. yes, she had told him once before that words weren’t the only way; but, sometimes she wishes she could say the things her heart felt. ‘i would have never blamed you or hated you if you hadn’t shown up that day. i almost hated myself at one point for making you promise that to me... putting so much pressure on a child with already big dreams? how could i? but... even so, i’m eternally grateful. for you. for being able to share these moments with you. especially when i had accepted i might never see you again.’ she doesn’t realize until she looks down that her hand had hesitantly caught grasp of his fingertips, almost like a child, a gentle touch she might not of registered if it weren’t for the sparks up her arm it caused. and then she looks up at him again, lips parted, breaths shaky, carmine locked onto Mako blue. words aren’t the only way to tell someone how you feel. maybe this hold is the way.

Everything around them’s entirely falling apart, the planet expressing its rage through the destruction those who grew greedy and overly ambitious within the human race progressed towards, a certain future where there is no future. All the planet’s really doing now is speeding up the process. Cloud still remains powerless to do anything but all the pending destruction brings back a weak willed conscious. What once was nothing but static and noise upon his vision clears up, his vision now foggy but still so unclear, not enough to make up anything besides colors. There’s spots of greens, blues, browns, and many shades in between each respective color. The static and white noise that rings within his ears silent a bit afterwards to the sound of distant rumbling and roaring of the very earth he’s currently being pushed through. He realizes that he’s in motion and he takes in what he can with what he’s regained. The only reason he’s even aware Tifa’s here with him is because her voice rings through his ears in a distant sounding echo like someone within caverns screaming out for one of their loved ones who’s lost their way. We’re going to be okay she says. “T..” He tries to get the word out, a single simple word, a name, out but fails and the shock of what transpires afterwards sets in. The planet ever merciless cracks open below them and takes everything above it with it. Her screams are distant, still silenced to a chance like echoes, his vision yet truly unclear, spotty as ever as the lifestream claims him first, thanks to the weight of the wheelchair he was on. It’s only when he makes contact with the life substance of the planet that it shows his mercy, relieving him of his numerous aliments, eyes wide as he’s sucked into it, shaky arm reaching out as verdant glow claims his body. “T-Ti..Tifa!” In a shaky voice caked in concern he calls out to the one who tried to save him as he becomes one with the planet. A single eye still visible as it takes in the clear blue and sunny skies above. How out of place. The thought of the world ending on such a beautiful day, it’s scary really how things don’t always play out how one expects them to.

He’s not sure where he is, the fact that his unstable footing is even keeping him up right now is a miracle on its own. Eyes fueled by mako wide in their intake of absolutely nothing, high off the substantial amount of mako poisoning he’s undergone. His breathing levels to an audible volume, hitch and short in his take and release of breath. Think of a little boy with a phobia for the dark in pitch darkness trying to get over whatever trauma awaited him inside and brought the fear. He feels something within the depths of his mind begin to tug and it makes him lose his focus and stumble, squinting his eyes in pain while he stumbles forward. Almost like something staggering so painfully slowly within him wanting to get out. And shortly after that uncomfortable and unfathomable feeling sets in the white noise and static return. 

“Argh..!” He says out loud, his gloved hands resting on either side of his head, almost scared that it’ll explode from the overwhelming sensation of having absolutely no control. “Ahhh!” He lets out a pain filled scream as the white noise and static increase and within all of that to match voices begin to echo and ring, yelling in a long winded distance but his brain tells him that each is screaming by his ears. “Arggh..ahh!!” He continues to scream and his surroundings begin to close up on him while the lifestream begins to split him apart, into the pieces he needs to see and needs to be in order to be a whole piece once again.

Cloud, ex-SOLDIER 1st class..

..They’re only 1 gil.

..it was our promise..

What do you mean you don’t remember me?!

1st-class just like Cloud..

Cloud!!!

Are you sure..?

The voices keep coming and coming, they keep hitting him and they don’t want to shut up, why won’t they stop!? “S-Stop!” He screams, tears of absolute pain threatening to spill from his eyes. The lifestream continues its tugging until the hollowness in his chest is apparent and obvious to him, his buzzing brain now split into forceful pieces.

My honor..my dreams..

The final voice echoes.

..They’re yours now.

‘W..Who?’

“STOP!” He cries out until he’s completely shattered apart and his entire entity fades along with what chooses to materialize within the lifestream. The parts of him now lingering distance away from one another, almost like they’re not permitted to make contact, not to connect upon familiar grounds. Well what do you know..

The lifestream materialized a fragmented form of his hometown, Nibelheim.

   what was once the feeling of f a l l i n g, turns into f l o a t i n g as white fades to darkness. she regains movement after what feels like eons, steady grounding as lids lift, revealing ruby optics bloodshot, d a z e d like Cloud’s once were, though they clear much faster. she turns, looks around to find something, anything within the never-ending nothingness that surrounds her.    Wh-Where am I? What’s happening? I...    Where’s Cloud..?    “Cloud, where are you?!” she calls out, though no reply is returned. she tries again, calls out the name that echos in a haunting fade, this is wrong, this is all wrong. then, there’s...something-- not a noise, or a voice. almost a f e e l i n g that there’s something there. “Huh... what? Who..?” concentrates hard, hoping to focus and pinpoint just exactly what it is. “Who is it? I can’t hear--”    she turns, a voice that rings m u f f l e d in her ears with no owner, a flash of an image behind retinas.    “Wait a minute! I know nothing about that!”    she turns again, another voice, less muffled with a much more m e n a c i n g tone, with a comparative flash once again, each time dripping t e r r o r into her veins, turning her blood to i c e.    “No! It’s not me! I’d never do anything like that!”    the voices get louder, louder, begin to d r o w n out her own thoughts, it feels like her skull is being split piece by piece. her body is shaking, she’s clutching her head, trying to get them to stop, trying, trying, trying-- they get closer.    “No! Stop it !! Stay back!”    and she runs with no destination in sight, just needs to e s c a p e the voices that now chase her with distorted syllables and spewed lies that cling to her shoulders like the weight of the planet is on them.    “Somebody...help! Please !!”    they get too loud, too close, it’s all too much and she just collapses to her knees, clutching at her head, not just with gloved hands clawing into her own scalp but her arms, squeezing so much pressure to try and combat it. the pain is far more than anything she’s felt before, her brain pulsating in time with her heartbeat, her soul is s c r e a m i n g.    “Cloud, help me !!”    there’s screams of pain, loud static, voices that she can’t tell whether they’re the same as the ones from before or possibly from the lifestream. it’s too much, her torso falls, her grip weakens and she feels that sensation again, not falling, not floating, just nothingness as she goes deeper into the abyss.

   when she w a k e s, there’s an actual ground beneath her, a slight chill in the thick air, weighing her down only slightly. she uses every part of her body she can muster to lift herself up to a shaky stance, stumbling like a small child taking their f i r s t steps. her head is pounding, her vision is sensitive, slightly heightened, it’s an odd sensation, being deep within the p l a n e t’s own life source. when everything clears though, and she’s able to look around, nothing could prepare her for what she sees: three a p p a r i t i o n s of him, as if split apart, all clearly in some sort of state, one looking as if lost, one looking as if in agony, the other... empty, h o l l o w, possibly the whole state of him that just needed to fill the gaps. she calls out to him, hoping, praying that just one of them would at least react.    “What is it, Cloud..? What... is this?” she looks around again. “Is this the inside of your dreams? Or is it... your... subconcious?” there’s a r e a l i z a t i o n. a light switch flipped, an epiphany. his strange recollections, the subtle differences, no longer the shy boy from a little countryside. “You’re searching... aren’t you, Cloud? Searching for... yourself?”    she wipes her face, takes a deep breath, steels her soul and her heart to i r o  n, nodding to her inward thoughts. she’s determined to be the h e r o this time, to repay the promise he’s made to her, now for him.    “I can help, too. We’ll work t o g e t h e r to try and get the real you back!” now, here’s the tough part. “But... where do we start?” she decides on north, and approaches carefully, cautiously.    the gates of nibelheim... five years ago, sephiroth passed through these gates... and... that’s how it all started.    “It connects... to Nibelheim?” she’s hesitant, rightfully so. “That’s right... it’s probably best to start from there.” the apparition of Cloud turns to her, and she can’t help but s m i l e, with a glimmer of hope. “Let’s go have a look, Cloud. I know it’s not easy... but, I’ll be here for you.” and then everything f a d e s, and the greenish hue of the lifestream turns into the familiar scenery of their home.    “Cloud, look!” she runs off and begins to point things out to him, almost e x c i t e d l y. “Here’s the well... and that’s Gramps’ Inn, too!” she turns and looks at an old beat-up vehicle. “The old truck in town. It’s been here since we were little kids, right?” she shifts her gaze to him, almost with p l e a d i n g eyes, glistening with tears, close to falling. “This is the Nibelheim you remember, right?” she nods to confirm with him. “It’s the same as my Nibelheim. That’s why this is... our Nibelheim.” she steps close to him, making sure to keep eye-contact.    here goes nothin’...    “Five years ago... two men from SOLDIER came... Sephiroth and... a young and vibrant soldier.” a pause, a slight b r e a t h paired with her eyes closed to prepare herself. eyes open and lock with Mako blues. “Can you tell me again... what happened?”