Made the worst brownies ever created just now

Chat where did I go wrong

the reviews are in

and i think to myself

what a wonderful world

One thing most people don't realize about Gazebos is how bloodthirsty they used to be until the 1930s or so. It used to be that in order to appease your average small town gazebo you had to feed it 4-5 marching bands a year, or roughly 2 dozen barbershop groups. Noawadays? Throw it a steely dan cover act every 6 months, maybe a bridal party every few years if you're actively trying to court its favor, and you're pretty much in the clear. And the crazy thing is nobody knows why they calmed down, or that their appetite for flesh won't return to its 19th century heights one day. It's actually an increasingly popular theory among modern Gazebo researchers that we're at the tail end of a period of dormancy and it's only a matter of time until they start howling for blood again. And if/when that does happen there's the question of whether our modern zeeb-keepers are really ready for the task of booking enough sacrificial acts to meet that increased demand. Guild policy has gotten lax in the century since the heyday of Dark Pavillionism and a lot of local keepers refuse to even look at newer research that threatens to upset their status quo. Kind of scary to think about

A well-understood problem in welfare system design is the welfare trap—the perverse incentive that results when means-testing has a sharp cutoff past which no benefits are granted. Ameliorating this through progressive benefits — those where a continuous increase in means is met with a continuous (smaller) reduction in benefits—is also well-understood. What I can't understand is how otherwise compassionate and intelligent souls don't immediately cross-apply this to another well-understood societal obligation—that of helping your friends get off if they injure both hands. Surely we are obliged to tender somewhat mediocre handjobs if they have injured only one hand, or both hands only slightly?

Leverage 5.03, "The First Contact Job"

The really funny thing about Data playing poker with the rest of the senior staff is that, like... with the way his brain works he's constantly aware of numbers and calculating probability but he would also know that counting cards is against the rules so does he just try to ignore it. Does he pretend not to. Can he like actively choose to discard that information as it comes in so he just forgets every .005 seconds

Data trying his absolute hardest not to accidentally rain man his coworkers. I'm autistic I can make that joke. Data sitting there not so much "playing poker" as "playing playing poker," as in, doing his best approximation of a human playing poker. He has an algorithm figured out for it. Semi-random to appear more natural, like how his blinking is timed. He is having fun btw. Data loves playing humans

He isn't trying to win at poker he's trying to win at being in a social situation & he has found that people like it more when they win a certain percentage of the time. The game Data's playing in his head is not the same as the game everyone else is playing

Customer: THIS IS ME WHEN I VISIT MY FRIEND DMV: THE FRIENDFUL VISITOR

Verdict: DENIED

i think what’s on a person’s nightstand is very telling so reblog this and put in the tags the things you have on your nightstand

I really really really can't stop thinking about how lucky society is that taylor isn't a serial killer

...that we know of

No experience more viscerally humiliating than walking through a heavily populated building with squeaky shoes. Look at me doing my little clown walk across the entire length of the building. Dumbass squeaking noises ringing out with every step. Sounds like I'm walking on two guinea pigs. I wish I was dead

The Princess Bride (1987)