Holy Fuck.

RHAENICENT + EYES

idk how to flirt but i can make things awkward if you're into that

chilchuck going "sorry leave me outta this one. i cant fight" but then hitting literally every precise shot with an arrow or projectile he ever made in the story INCLUDING PIERCING A RED DRAGONS EYE BY THROWING A KNIFE WHILE LEAPING AWAY my bro is a rogue with dex 20 and wants no one to know biggest liar in history

As a fellow union man i can relate - you do not let your employer know you can do anything you don't want to become your job

A print i drew up for queerly departed, based off the “i was a teenage werewolf” poster. It’ll hopefully be an 11”x14” when its printed!

if hello kitty was real we would be bestfriends

me n u or u n hello kitty ?

me and you

"No climate justice on occupied land"

They switched up from golf clapping to police brutality real quick when she started talking about their racism.

Hi!! Wrist locks are incredible painful and pose high risk of damaging the wrist even between consenting sparring partners who can tap out at any time!

In Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, it is illegal to wrist lock anyone below blue belt and anyone in the juvenile division!

This is something that PROHIBITED IN MARTIAL ARTS being used on a child!! A nonviolent child at a legal gathering!

We need to be pissed about this

Quick note: this isn’t “European Democracy” at work, it’s police. You think police in China are somehow better? You think police in Thailand or Saudi Arabia or Zimbabwe or Mexico are any better? Wrong. It is a police problem.

"The Big Dipper as it is today (left) and as it will look in 50,000 years." Dream of stars. 1940.

Internet Archive

I was a cheerleader at university, this was in the UK so not serious at all, but we did go and compete at Nationals which were being held in Bournemouth, a fair distance from our uni in London. One of the girls was like "omg you can stay at my house! My parents live like 30 minutes away." so all 25 of us got on the coach with a blanket and pillow and clothes, expecting to like, stay at a house.

Her house in the New Forest. They had a pool and hot tub, a pool house, and I think 4 or 5 bedrooms and 2 reception rooms. I say "I think" because we weren't actually allowed to stay in the house. Our coach and 2 male members stayed in the pool house, which had a very small room, plus a bathroom which all of us were to share. The rest of us had to sleep in a big tent gazebo thing in the garden. In May in England. When none of us were prepared for camping. It was about 10°c in the night, not comfortable at all.

I very briefly saw the inside of the house when I asked her mother if there was another bathroom because we were running late and i needed to put my contact lenses in, and she shooed me into a cupboard under the stairs. The living room I caught a glimpse of had enough space for all of us to sleep there.

The next day when we got back from the competition, we were given a BBQ dinner! Which consisted of 1 chicken leg and 1 potato each.

For the privilege of staying at her house, we all had to give Nadine £5.

Every time I see a post like this, I think of that time, freezing my ass off, in a mansion garden.

my dad is so funny because if you actually asked him point blank if he's an ally i dont think he'd know how to respond but like a year ago he was talking about when he used to sell houses in the 90s and he was like "yeah we had a gay couple come in and i had to tell one of my coworkers to stop being rude to them. then they invited me to their housewarming party, i dont know why. after that i had a bunch of gay couples come in and specifically ask for me, isnt that weird?" and he legitimately had never connected the dots

i literally had to be like "dad. it was florida. in the 90s. the word probably got out among the gay community that you weren't a violent homophobe so gay people felt relatively safe working with you" and he was like ".......oh. well that explains a lot."

cd has a hole. record has a hole. casette has 2 holes. streaming? zero holes. i think i’ve made my point

I actually really like the thing when you're starting to get the hang of a new language, enough to understand and say simple sentences but you gotta get creative to get more complex thoughts across, like a puzzle. I remember a time in the restortation school when a classmate who wasn't natively finnish and did her best anyway dropped something and sighed, telling me "every day is monday this week. I have had four mondays this week." And I understood.

I don't think I speak much of spanish anymore, but in the nursing school training period I did there, I did manage to get by with making weird Tarzan sentences. I got a nosebleed at some point and startled another nurse. Not knowing the words "humidity" or "stress", I managed to string together: "This is ok. It is hot, it is cold, I have a bad day, I am sad, I have blood. This is normal for me." And she understood.

And sometimes you just say things weird, but it's better than not saying it. One time, I was stuck in a narrow hallway behind someone walking really slowly with a walker, and he apologised for being in the way. I was not in any hurry, but didn't know the spanish word for "hurry", but I did know enough words to try to circumvent it by borrowing the english "I have all the time in the world."

The man burst into one of those cackling old man laughters that they do when something in this world still manages to surprise them. He had to be somewhere between 70 and a 100 years old, and I guess if there was one thing he wasn't expecting to hear today, it would be a random blond vaguely baltic-looking fuck casually announce that he is the sole owner and keeper of the very concept of time.

I’ve mostly learned Chinese in school, so I know a lot of academic vocabulary while having the language skills of a toddler in some basic areas. Once, I forgot the word for sad, which is a really dumb thing to forget. A bunch of the ways to say sad in Chinese are literally just “not happy”, but I also momentarily forgot how to say happy. So instead I said “there is an economic downturn inside my brain”.

When my wife and I were in Japan we went to an izakaya on our first full night in the country, and when it was time to pay we weren't sure where to do it, at the table or at the counter up front? Our waitress didn't speak much English, so I threw myself on that conversational grenade with, "Okane ga koko desu ka? Okane ga asoko desu ka?" Literally translated that's, "Money is/goes/should be here? Money is/goes/should be over there?"

She very gratefully confirmed that "Money goes over there," and we paid and left.

I would be the worst spy of all time because on one hand I overshare like hell, but on the other hand I also have THE shittiest memory so it’s really a lose/lose scenario for everyone involved.

guy interrogating me: What’s the passcode?

me: Ah fuck. I think it might be 792.....4?

me: Actually no I think it starts with a 2.

me:

me: Yeah I usually just rely on muscle memory for it. Do you think you could get a keypad in here? That might be faster.

guy interrogating me: who do you work for?!

me: Okay, so this is super embarrassing. I know he told me his name when we first met but I forgot and at this point it would be weird if I asked him for his name again, right? So I just kind of go with “sir” whenever I have to talk to him. It might be David though. He looks like a David.

me, after being extracted: bad news guys, I totally blew Dave’s cover.

my boss: Wait, what?

me: Yeah, like they had knives and shit and it was kind of stressful so I just told them that my contact’s name was David Johnson. Really sorry about that.

boss: We don’t have a David Johnson working for us. Are you thinking of James?

me: 

me: Good news, guys, I did not blow James’ cover!

Enemy 1: So, how did the interrogation go?

Enemy 2: We got nothing. All they did was ramble on about their childhood trauma for two hours.

Enemy 1: Hmm. maybe lower the dose of the truth serum next time.

Enemy 2: We didn’t use truth serum.

they need to invent a writing that is easy. and fast also

monkey paw finger curls and another AI generative text program is born

nooo my good intentions

Damn did you see that? That was fucked up, right? Anyway I'm Rod Serling.

gender euphoria is looking rly hot to other queer people and offputting to everyone else

A late nineteenth century agate hardstone minature rabbit with cabochon sapphire eyes, sitting in an upright position with finely carved fur, suspended on a yellow gold ring bearing the marks for Fabergé, measuring 2cm x 1.5cm, St Petersburg, gross weight 3 grams.