Hot Fuzz (2007) dir. Edgar Wright

ok enough is enough. whichever one of you virgins invented instagram starbucks recipes, die 1000 deaths. I had a customer come in today holding out their phone (full brightness) and looking all shy and Im immediately like 🙄 fine ok, what does the instagram user want me to make for them this time. well this time it's a cringe harry potter themed frappucino. excuse me??? "can you make this for me?" I said excuse me??? -- I mean *customer service voice* "yeah it looks like I have all the ingredients, haha sure!"

ok cringe instagram harry potter frappucino drinker. ok. die. "Ive never had this drink before" yeah I can tell due to the fact that it didnt exist until someone posted a #aesthetic photo of it to instagram 14 hours ago ok. ok,

but whatever, Im paid to put up with this shit. so I add the ingredients all up on my computer and congrats! ur harry potter cringe social media drink has $10 worth of syrup in it. are you happy??? is this what you wanted??? a $10 frappucino??? $10. for a drink. you doubled the price of this drink for ur off-brand "harry potter and the legend of the overpriced starbucks drink" drink. you doubled the price!!! is this how u imagined spending ur day? is this what u wanted to do when u woke up this morning? $10 for a 24oz drink?

and u know, you KNOW the influencer making this recipe doesn't even work at a starbucks cause when it was all said and done the drink looked like shit. my blender was straining against the weight of your sins (and syrups) and Im sweating, Im an animal, Im losing my mind and my blender is getting watered down frappucino syrups everywhere -- u put so much shit liquid in this blender it doesnt even fit in the cup btw. it's making a huge mess. but is it instagramable? no, its fucking ugly. #trending #foryoupage #cringe $10 harold potter drink for adult children,

so are you happy? is ur social media influencer bestie happy? I made ur stupid $10 drink for u. does it taste good? no? well I hope instagram shuts down tomorrow. I hope you read a different book. I hope I never get sober. there is no sign of land. I hope you die. I hope we both die.

Okay, what the FUCK do you have against making a Harry Potter drink???? Was it a butterbeer frappuccino? I’ll bet it was a butterbeer frappuccino.

Muggles.

@sorceryonwings

Its not that baristas hate Harry Potter specifically to spite you, its that people who don’t even work in a cafe come up with drinks without knowing how any of it works, knowing what ingredients the store has, or how any of it will taste together and post it online for thousands of other people to see and decide they also want to try it,

and 

it 

is

hell.

It is absolute hell on the baristas, because we are trained in a SPECIFIC way on how to make drinks. All the drinks made by Starbucks follow incredibly specific recipes with specific proportions of ingredients, so that they taste good, are made the same every time, and stay as that kind of drink. Half the customers I deal with every day don’t know the difference between a latte and an iced coffee, do you really think they’re in any way qualified to be coming up with their own recipes? A good portion of these secret menu drinks, because they aren't made by baristas, end up being impossible to replicate because there is no set standard on how to make them and they end up being something else entirely, with and I am not kidding, more syrup and fruit in them than the original drink, wasting ingredients and tasting like shit.

Its hell on the baristas because its impossible to train staff on how to make these, because there are a shit ton of variations to these drinks because they are NOT made by the company. Just three of the ‘Butterbeer’ ones I found in a few minutes:

All of these are fucking different. All of them will taste different. They’ll all look different. Two of them just say ‘order a creme frappuchino’ which ISN’T A THING. It is NOT a specific drink, it is TYPE of drink and us, the staff, will have to figure out what one you’re looking for and you WILL NOT KNOW THE ANSWER AND NEITHER WILL WE.

Its hell on the baristas, because about 2 dozen people come in daily just at my store asking for things that are not on the menu, never were, or were region locked and get pissed because we have no idea what you’re talking about. Butterbeer is not a flavor. Cotton Candy is not a flavor. Oreo, Twix, Cinnamon Toast Crunch, Cheesecake, NONE of these are actual flavors and never have been and it gets worse when someone makes secret menu items that depend on seasonal or regional ingredients. These secret menu drinks often use shit that was discontinued YEARS ago and we cannot make anymore, no matter how much you insist because someone on instagram or tiktok said they just got it. We can’t make you the Hokkaido, Tokyo, Ibaraki, or Fukui fraps because those were NEVER available in the USA, they were exclusive to SINGLE locations, but the customers do not listen and they do not care, because someone with thousands of followers said so, so WE must be lying.

Its hell on the baristas, because most of these fucking drinks use ingredients from every single station and end up taking three times as long to make as they should so the entire line of other customers who are also waiting on drinks end up waiting longer and it cascades when a new 'secret menu' drink goes viral and EVERYONE starts ordering it. We end up running out completely of certain ingredients for weeks to months because they get popular and then no one can have any. You know how Starbucks is having nation wide outages of just about every flavor? This is part of the reason why- We literally cannot keep up with the demand for certain ingredients we ordinarily would not use in that kind of quantity, and oh yeah, we're still in a GLOBAL PANDEMIC as people make up random shit when they get bored and want fandom points so they make an imaginary drink go viral.

It’s hell on the baristas, because WE end up getting bad reviews by customers who understand none of this, try to do it anyway and end up with essentially a cup full of vomit or told no entirely, and they get pissed at US and slam us on yelp or outright call our bosses to scream at them because Starbucks stopped using mango syrup 6 goddamn years ago and you REALLY REALLY wanted it for your Harry Potter House or MHA or BTS themed drink that costs four times as much as it should because of how much shit you put in it and you don't want to pay for it!

Its hell on the baristas because you come in, order something that doesn't exist, treat the employees like shit for it, and then get holier than thou on the fucking internet claiming that we must just hate your precious Harry Potter and call us a made up insult after we have repeatedly, desperately, insistently told everyone the Secret Menu is not a thing and neither are any of the drinks on it, especially branded, trademarked things Starbucks did not, does not, and never will have the rights to.

Or if it's easier to understand,

Fuck your Butterbeer and grow the fuck up, you're not better than anyone else because you like a book made by a racist transphobe and want to make a fool out of yourself insisting that it is. The employees are laughing at you the second you walk out the goddamn door.

This seems like a relevant place to put this article I ran into yesterday.

Stop straight up abusing baristas for stupid drink orders. Customization is so you can change SMALL things, which is really nice for people like me - I can't have straight milk due to how bad my lactose intolerance is, on top of Ulcerative Colitis which makes any time my intestines are upset that much worse. Because of available customization, I can ask for coconut milk instead of regular milk. Customization gives people with allergies or other dietary needs OPTIONS. It gives us a way to customize a drink so we can still have one. It's NOT for Yoga-Pants-Patricia to get the latest Instagram craze drink. Seriously, go fuck yourself.

Let us just appreciate that this person’s dad didn’t know when they would be home and so he couldn’t plan for them to be able to join the family for dinner, but he knew with no doubts that dear sweet Meatloaf staying in that exact position for hours was an absolute in this scenario. Truly, that cat was named well.

one of my favorite posts on tumblr over the course of 5 fucking years.. clearly i need a life

Meatloaf is a reliable cat and did not steal the money for selfish reasons. A rare friend.

I love Meatloaf. :)

Bless Meatloaf

Reblog Money Meatloaf to get surprise $40

Dark Doodad Nebula near NGC 4372

The Touch of Sunlight (read the full story on webtoon here)

this is the first page

imagine if the avengers had actually discussed the plan for more than an hour, and found out from nebula that you have to sacrifice what you love most to get the soul stone (basically a soul for a soul), and steve volunteered himself for the mission. face to face with the red skull, he’s asked if he’s willing to make the sacrifice, to lose what’s important to him. steve replies, “go ahead and try. i’ve already lost everything else.” after its done, steve just laughs and says, “that’s all?”

& steve makes it back alive with the stone. he makes it back to the avengers compound. they don’t recognize him at first, but once they see past the change in structure and size, its obvious. they ask what happened, and he replies “a soul for a soul”. he gave up captain america, let him go once and for all, and that was enough.  

Here you go OP

[footage of the inside of an ordinary Eastern-European home, taken with a handheld phone camera, the man filming is walking from the living room to the back door of the house]

man, narrating in russian: Every fucking year, this time of the year, the pond at my backyard gets infested. What do ponds get infested with? Frogs? Poisonous weeds? Geese? No. Not my pond.

[The man opens the back door, stepping out into a garden. Three or four nude, human-like figures dash from the borders of a pond back into the water.]

man: Rusalki! I don't know where they come from or how they get here, and I can't afford to hire an exterminator every year. I can't let my cat outside anymore. Last year a rusalka managed to drown a whole deer in my pond, the stench was unbearable.

[He walks as he speaks, approaching the pond. There are several eerily beautiful female beings peering at him from under the surface, their long hair floating in the murky water. Their eyes are gleaming in an unhuman way. The man holding the camera stops to film them.]

man, calm and deadpan: What the fuck are all of you staring at. Get jobs or something.

[One of the rusalki, smaller than the others and clearly not a fully matured adult, slowly reaches out of the water with her white, thin hand, grasping his ankle. He appears unconcerned.]

man: You can't drown me, you little idiot. You're too small. Shoo!

[A loud thud startles the rusalki, making them scatter. A second thud makes it clear these are the approaching footsteps of something massive. The man turns around and points the camera at what appears to be a house, walking past above the treeline with chicken-like legs]

man, now yelling: IF YOUR HOUSE SHITS ON MY YARD AGAIN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD-

This post is a joy and a delight.

this is the energy

Source

where is that renaissance painting with those two fellers and a giant fucking random skull on the floor that looks like it was accidentally stretched out in photoshop

THANK YOU

somebody please explain

Someone once told me it’s like that because it was designed to be hung in a stairwell so the skull pops out as you walk past.

…I guess it works but you have to be at a pretty sharp angle

There was a whole trend at one point where artists would include something in their paintings (usually a skull, for whatever reason) that’s super distorted in just the right way so that it looks normal if you hold the painting up to a convex/concave mirror. I have absolutely no idea why. But I think that’s what’s going on here.

In case anyone’s curious, here’s what it looks like when you walk past it irl:

It does have a 3D effect to it! It’s pretty neat, guess it would be even more impressive to people from the 14th century.

honestly, people just looking at the skull are missing the real deal here

You can read any implied text you see in this thing, even the book, that’s how detailed it is. Look at the painting on those letters!

jesus christ you’re just showing off now, Hans!

HANS OH MY GOD

anyway, the skull apparently had some meaning about the transcendence of death, you can only see it clearly when you can’t see the world clearly and vice versa, but man, I’m all about the detail in this guy’s shit

No, I think you’re missing the real deal here

as an art historian, i think this is the best post on tumblr

you know what i find infuriating? when you see a healthcare professional, you have to walk a very thin line as you talk about your symptoms and conditions

if i don't baby myself down and use smaller words or talk as if im unaware of parts of my condition (which i am very knowledgeable about) they will dismiss my concerns, assuming im a "google doctor" hypochondriac rather than an intelligent disabled person

i asked my intake nurse at an urgent care today (waited 3 and a half hours for a uti diagnosis btw) what specialist she would recommend for my joint dislocations because they were staying out longer and it hurts

she looked at me and said "Oh I don't know sweetie. I thought you were going to say arthritis, but there's a very long word for what your joints are doing."

ma'am....i know what a subluxation is i just wanted a provider recommendation

honestly as soon as you let them know you're disabled they assume you are just a dumb sweet little baby and the moment you demonstrate any medical understanding of a condition YOU HAVE they get combative and will actively work against your attempts to receive adequate care

and in this case, i apparently did not act "stupid" enough, because they failed to tell me a word i already knew, or that my lab results even confirmed my uti, much less that it was severe enough to be with hematuria- i had to ask for confirmation after she rattled off the prescriptions she was sending and read my discharge papers for my full diagnosis

tl;dr Healthcare providers: stop treating chronically ill and disabled patients like they are not smart enough to be engaged with like the adults that they are

(this includes people with mental and learning disabilities too)

Please PLEASE can you sign this petition? Carpinchos or capybaras are being treated as "invaders" in their own home, because the richest in the country built the most expensive and exclusive neighborhood in Argentina in the wetlands, the habitat of the capybaras. Now they complain that these animals "invade" their homes and want to exterminate them or relocate them elsewhere. Capybara are docile animals that do not harm anyone or other animals, and there is a lot of drought and fires and they only want food and water in their home, which is being populated by the real invaders: humans!

lying to people in positions of power (landlords, rental agencies, employers) to get what u want (a flat, a job, whatever) is cool and u should do it more often.

maybe it’s the Older Sibling in me but lying to people outright, by omission, or by implication is a useful skill. if the landlord says it’s not a party flat tell them you’re relieved to hear that because you hated living with people who had people over a lot. no you didn’t meet your future roommates through a facebook flatmate searching group, you met through mutual friends. you’re neurotypical and love working with people, customer service is your passion! you used to do tons of volunteer work in high school while also juggling extracurriculars and maintaining good grades which shows you’re really good at time management and like being busy, nevermind the fact that your school required you to do those volunteer hours. lie on the spot! adapt! you too can be the perfect person for every single situation! don’t feel bad about it! there’s no reason to be honest as long as it won’t directly be clockable as a lie!

Asian Royalty: 6 ruined castles across Asia, reconstructed While some centuries-old castles are still standing tall, sadly others haven’t withstood the ravages of time, war, or natural disaster quite as well. To give you an idea of what once was, Budget Direct has collaborated with a team of researchers, architects and digital CGI masters to bring six Asian castles back to life, digitally. Here’s Japan’s Hagi Castle, which was built in 1604 but sadly was dismantled in 1874: Other castles explored in the series of reconstructions are:

Alamut Castle, Alamut Valley, Iran

The Old Summer Palace, Beijing, China

Citadel of Ghazni, Ghazni, Afghanistan

Raigad Fort, Raigad, Maharashtra, India

Takeda Castle, Asago, Hyōgo, Japan

we are already living in the cyberpunk future and i know this because within a span of 3 days we went from this tweet:

to thousands of people making phony images and replying to them with their passionate desire to have them as a tshirt to overload the bots with nonsense and junk and send out warnings to shoppers like this:

and now we even have people replying to pictures of baby yoda with “i want this on a tshirt” knowing how ravenous disney is being with copyright in hopes to get the stores taken down altogether

i dont know what it is about stuff like this and the whole turn mei into a symbol of hk protesters thing but, its really reassuring for some reason

And the next step…

https://teezyli.com/

Holy shit y’all look at the front page of the site right now

Oh my god

Anyway, I just emailed tips@disneyantipiracy.com to report the site for very evilly stealing Disney’s IP! Because obviously that is very evil and bad and shit.

I’ve never seen such a perfect example of fighting fire with fire.

Holy fucking shit

I’m DYING.

More accurately