fairy dusted disaster

Imagine being the opponent, top of game one of the best in the world, making eye contact as you pass the leader of the race who stopped for some ducks, only to have that same person eclipse you by 30 fucking seconds before you reach the finish line. You would never get in a boat again.

Plants what now

okay so apparently we just discovered that plants emit clicking sounds too high pitched for us to hear, and are noisy when they're stressed but quiet when content

There needs to be more research done into this, and as of now we can't say why the sounds happen but. WHAT.

I knew they could hear noises but apparently they MAKE noises too

Cats knocking over houseplants just got a lot more vindictive

SHUT UPPPP

Serval's first time seeing ice!

(Source)

Just once, I want the hero to go “your wife/sister/mother/whatever would not have wanted this!”, and the villain to go, “actually, we talked about this a lot. She was really into vigilante justice and eye for an eye stuff. She always said, if something like this happens, avenge me.”

“Your mother never would have wanted this!”

“Wow you clearly never met my mother.”

“Your wife wouldn’t have wanted this!”

“To be honest, I’m following her list of instructions. Do you think I came up with this plan by myself?”

“I wanted to go to art school, but no! You had to kill my sister and make me enact her 37 step plan on what to do in case she was murdered!”

MGS Heritage Post

I’m sorry, I can’t come into work today. I didn’t get a long rest and god gave me a point of exhaustion. All my skill checks are at disadvantage.

I know this is a tiny part of the wider problems born of diet culture, fatphobia, classicism, and racism but like god the idea that "healthy" food must inherently taste bad has completely ruined us as a society.

Every time you feel bad for having coffee with cream and sugar or ranch on your salad or putting extra butter and salt on your veggies I want you to imagine the spirit of John Harvey Kellogg in front of you and then I want you to kill him with a real gun and eat your delicious food in peace.

#two senseis of different forms meeting in a forest and exchanging weapons in a show of trust and respect for the others mastery

please say which in the tags!

My friend sometimes brings her six-year-old to our DnD sessions and my husband (the DM) lets her roll for all enemy attacks and sometimes he will show her a few figures and let her secretly pick what creature we meet next. Who needs encounter tables when you have a first-grader around

She cheers when the monster is winning.

DM: *places an ugly, slavering, repugnant, spine-tingling creature on the battle map*

Child who can barely see over the table: ᵗʰᵃᵗ’ˢ ᵐᵉ :)

We have underestimated the comedic genius of the elderly when presented with technology

grossly underestimated

I FUCKING LOST MY SHIT AT WORK

Hey, I can just put that in a post! There's no way I'm ever going to be able to find the tumblr post that inspired this, but it was talking about how the term 'unalive' should refer to something that is to 'alive' the same way 'undead' is to 'dead'. A few people were trying to work out what that equivalent might be, and there were some fun possible examples thrown out (food service workers! anyone employed by a call centre!)

However. 'Undead' is a term that has a very specific meaning in relation to 'dead'. It doesn't mean 'alive', because 'alive' is opposite to 'dead'. It also doesn't mean 'not dead', because plenty of things are not dead that were never alive and are, thus, not undead, either. 'Undead' specifically means 'dead, but in a way that is wrong'.

Which means that, if 'unalive' is to 'alive' as 'undead' is to 'dead', then 'unalive' should mean something that is alive, but in a way that is wrong.

And just as 'undead' is not synonymous with 'alive', but shares traits with it, 'unalive' should not be synonymous with 'dead', but share traits with it. Something that is unalive should not be dead, but should have traits associated with death.

The unalive thing, then, should be something that is alive, but the wrong kind of alive, in a way that shares traits with death. Perhaps something too alive, too energetic, too exuberant, too enthusiastic, too aware and appreciative of every sensation or symptom of life. Perhaps something a little too hungry.

Like a fungus.

Or a wellness influencer.

saw that kermit post on instagram and i knew exactly what i needed to do

Me from now on

I just started watching Dimension 20’s Fantasy high, halfway through sophomore year, and I do want a fic where people realise just how used to being part of a group the bad kids are. For example-

-I fully believe every single one of them is used to Riz climbing them so he can see better. It’s usually Gorgug, but it’s happened to all of them at some point. They might hold out their arm for him to jump onto a counter, or so he can pin a clue to his board. Before they all sit at a table, at least one of them makes sure their 4’4 friend can jump onto the table.

-Every single one of them has also caught Adaine after she had a vision. Sometimes she can just shake them off, but the big ones make her falter in what she’s doing, which can be dangerous. It happened once in a fight, and now the people standing closest to her are always ready.