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My cat wakes me up on purpose

@saltedsprinkles / saltedsprinkles.tumblr.com

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stuckinapril

maybe a mildly hot take but i think everyone should be well acquainted w rejection. my goal is to put myself in as many situations as possible, even w the knowledge in mind that it might end w me rejected in some form. bc not caring about that leads to so much growth, & the more exposed you are to something, the more desensitized you are to it. i wanna reach a point where i don’t give even the slightest fuck about rejection at ALL bc i know that it had nothing to do w me personally. things just don’t work out sometimes

this is not grounds to start doing inappropriate things you know will lead to you being rejected btw. but it is grounds to start doing things you’re otherwise too scared of doing, for the sole reason you’re afraid of rejection. missing less & less opportunities the more & more you do

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Friendly Autumn Baking Tips:

When Making Pumpkin Themed Things, if your batter is too dry, don’t add water or milk, add more pumpkin. Canned pumpkin is extremely high in water content and works like a liquid in recipes. Add a little at a time to maintain the consistency and you might need to adjust your baking time as well.

Also, if a Pumpkin Themed Recipe calls for vegetable oil? Absolutely not. Add more pumpkin. See reason above. 

A good substitute for pumpkin (if you’re out!) is applesauce. Also works as a liquid, little to no taste and shouldn’t affect the integrity of your baked goods. Add small amounts, keep an eye on your consistency and pay attention to baking times. 

Always double the amount of holiday spice in a pumpkin recipe. It doesn’t need one tsp of cinnamon, it’s needs at least one HEAPING teaspoon of cinnamon and most likely, two teaspoons. Pumpkin doesn’t taste like anything, Pumpkin Pie Spice does. Sweeten it up till it reminds you of pie. If the recipe calls for ¼ tsp of any of the holiday type spices, it’s wrong. You need more. Holiday spices are like garlic, you measure it with your soul not with a recipe. 

Speaking of spices and sweetening, Pumpkin Pie Spice is expensive and can be hard to find. Pumpkin Pie Spice is also just cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and all spice. Substitute in cinnamon and nutmeg, then ginger and allspice if you have it. If you don’t have ginger and allspice, sprinkle in some cloves. If you don’t have cloves, seriously cinnamon and nutmeg will just about cover it. Don’t stress, no one will be able to tell you didn’t have allspice and if they CAN tell, tell them complainers don’t get holiday sweets and to just shut up about it. 

Muffin recipes can usually be dumped into a loaf pan and baked up as bread. Maybe a higher temperature (375 vs 350) and foil at the edges of the pan to keep the top from burning while the middle cooks. If you feel like the recipe needs a little something, toss in a handful of chocolate chips. Pumpkin and Chocolate is the absolute best. 

Homemade Whipped Cream is laughably easy. Two cups heavy whipping cream, ¾ cup sugar (or less!). Dump it in to a mixer on high until it fluffs up stiff or dump into a bowl and whisk until your arm falls off. Either way. Super easy, super delicious and nothing feels quite as Smug as being able to say “the whipped cream is homemade” when everyone tries to just eat it by the spoonful out of the bowl. 

Bake It Up Y’all. Happy Pumpkin Season

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curseworm

i think the problem is that everybody thinks that jokes are not meaningful. when they think of a joke they think of something thats irrelevant or trivial. but jokes are highly meaningful. setting aside the political implications of humor throughout history, the structure and content of a joke is a form of communication. it informs the listener of something and, in most cases, the listener comprehends - even if they don't understand that they've comprehended. one might say "the universe is a joke," and the inevitable indignant reply will come: how could the entirety of humanity, every precious and fleeting life that ever laid eyes upon the sky, every star thats ever cast its light into a watching eye, how could that be meaningless to you? but nothing could be further from the truth. i've heard the punchline, and i've comprehended. it's a joke, and an impressive one at that. and when one is presented with a masterwork like that, what can one do but laugh? if even the universe's awe-inspiring splendor is laughable, then how can laughing at your stupid fucking wig be contempt of the court, your honor

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A happy day. 🌼💭 | via ❀ུ۪

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pukicho

Hot dogs fucking suck because when I buy one I eat it then its gone.

It seems I got some news for you about eating in general, my friend

And if you look to your left, you can see two primordial, omnipotent beings conversing. At this time, I will remind you that uploading screenshots to Twitter is strictly prohibited, however reuploading them to Tumblr is highly encouraged.

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Please stop attacking the past versions of you. They were doing their best at the time and they got you here. It’s amazing how much progress you’ve made and how much you’ve grown but please don’t think your past self lacked worth in any way.

sometimes i feel so sorry and want to apologize to my past self, I've never treated them right or with respect and blamed them for things they did, but they did good.

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i learned of “Box beds” – cabinets with beds in them and, sometimes, lockable doors – were used for privacy and safety in parts of rural medieval Europe before individual bedrooms were common. They became fashionable even in homes with bedrooms and remained in use in Scotland into the 1900s (x)

I don’t want a swimming pool, I want a box bed/nook bed

Ohhhhhhh man this unlocks Primal Instinct

Nest!!!! Cozy!!!!!

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stop pathologizing everything oh my goddddd

maybe you’re just shitty in a way that has nothing to do with mental illness. maybe it’s not that deep and you’re just acting like a dick. it happens to everyone

Walked right into the electric fence… sad. Well there’s other mutuals

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