i am shrunken down and brought to the gnome world and when i attempt to assimilate to their culture I use an acorn cap as a hat and they all laugh cheerfully at my silly mistake of wearing what they use as a bowl like a cap and though this is a transgression that would have humiliated me in my human life I am instead laughing alongside them at my humorous misunderstanding

they ask me what I would like to eat and knowing that gnomes enjoy fruit i ask for my favorite fruit, an apple, and they all laugh raucously and say that i must be very hungry indeed to desire an entire apple rather than just a small chunk, and i go along with their joke and say that while my body may have shrank my stomach has not! and they all guffaw with delight until their faces turn red and see that my request is met and we all sit around a toadstool and share many apple slices together

over my time spent with the gnomes, my antics are still regarded with much delight. though i am past the age in which i am confused by their customs and norms, i occasionally pretend to be clueless about simple and easily understood things, such as shock at how toads are as tall as I am. they all continue to laugh at my feigned surprise, and sometimes join in, asking me if I need any help distinguishing what berries are for eating and which are for painting. i laugh, too. there is a sense of grace that comes with my shortcomings amongst the gnomes. they are entertained by my misunderstandings, yes, because life is to short to not be jolly.

i wake up one morning back at my original size. the small cavern in the roots of a tree that i lived in is destroyed in my sleep. my clothes, tailored from cut-up scraps of fabric, are shredded around me. i am a human again. i am horribly embarrassed.

the gnomes of the community gather around where i sit, all looking at me and exchanging glances with each other, none of them speaking the obvious. i can no longer stay here, now that i am not their size. but i was part of their community. i became one of them, indistinguishable from these people only from my past. how am i supposed to return to the world of the humans now? there is no life left for me there. that is not a life where i may fish for minnows in a babbling brook and feast off a bounty of raspberries. i am distraught. i cry.

my community comforts me. friends, all minuscule to me now, pat me wherever they can reach, nimbly dodging the tears that fall from my face. one of them offers me water. they don't have any containers that are big enough for me, they apologize, so just this acorn cap filled with morning dew will have to suffice.

i take the acorn cap and look at it in my hands. it is so small now. with a sniff, i put it atop my head.

the gnome chuckles. then laughs. then bends at the waist, bellowing with laughter, supporting himself on my knee. then i am laughing too, face red, tears still falling, and my community of gnomes laughs with me as well, so loud that a flock of birds takes off in the distance, and i am still laughing even as i stand to my feet and lumber away, back to where i once came.

Reblog if you think a woman can be complete without children

Y’ALL HAVE TIME TO REBLOG THIS. IT TAKES LESS THAN FIVE SECONDS.

I am wondering how many of you who responded that they can ride a horse have actually ridden a horse. Or if it’s like an “all men think they can land a plane” kind of thing.

https://www.geoguessr.com/vgp/3007

Still reeling from the realization that bullet journaling was essentially created to be a disability aid and got legit fuckin gentrified

Like I'm at work and don't have the time to properly organize my thoughts atm but like.

-bullet journalling was invented by a man with a learning disability (99% sure it was ADHD but his website now just says learning disability so I can't be 100%) as a system for organizing his life/way to work WITH his learning disability

-the general concept is bullet point the important things you need to do and use a simple system of symbols to mark whether it's done, rescheduled, cancelled, etc. with very little fanfare, keeping it all in one notebook so you know where to easily find the information at a glance

-people pick it up and it starts getting popular

-bullet journaling becomes an aesthetic movement largely populated by white neurotypicals

-bullet journaling has turned into creating an extremely pretty notebook that has some function, but largely depends on complicated decoration and aesthetic function that takes more time to set up than is tenable for the people it was created for

-new entries to bullet journaling feel pressure to shop at particular stores, use particular brands, purchase lots of stationery purely for its aesthetic value, and prioritize the artistry of the pages rather than the information being stored on them

-people who would massively benefit from the original system can only really find information on it from members of the aesthetic movement. There is now a barrier to entry for ppl with ADHD and other similar conditions, as bullet journaling now requires a focus and motivation to start that these same people often lack or struggle to maintain consistently

-bullet journaling is no longer a disability aid and has become an aesthetic movement largely for middle class white neurotypicals, pushing out the people who the system was created for to begin with

This is the original guide from the person who made bullet journalling. Super simple. Not at all high maintenance.

It was eye-opening to rewatch this after getting used to bullet journal meaning "work of highly decorative art you might journal in if it doesn't detract from the decoration" everywhere online.

I have a bullet journal somewhere that started out with the original system in the video, but I felt pressured to fill it with stickers and it rendered the whole thing useless.

What my neurodivergent ass has found helpful is applying the same principles to Google Keep.

1. Put the Google Keep widget on one of your homescreens. Personally I keep mine at half a screen.

2. Click the + sign and use "list"

3. Give it a title. I call mine "Ongoing".

4. Pin it so it's always showing on your homescreen.

5. Add everything to this one big list.

Because Google Keep doesn't have all of the artistic bells and whistles of a document program, it forces you to develop a similar system to a bullet journal.

For example:

I use bold on the most important things I must do that day.

I use CAPITALS after an item I need to purchase to remind me where I wanted to go shopping.

I nest tasks by indenting them under a heading if they should be grouped. I can check off each individual task as I clean the kitchen, and when I'm finished all of them I can check off "Clean kitchen." I find this helpful to break down large tasks and to remind me to finish the ones I wasn't able to complete in one go.

Each check box can be moved up and down the list by pressing on the six dots and dragging it, so you can keep the most important stuff at the top. Once you check the box it goes to the bottom of the page in grey with a line through it. It also remembers what you type so if you write "pick up drycleaning" every week it will help you auto fill.

You can also add letters at the start of the item:

o buy milk

z phone the dentist

If you want to use something closer to the original bullet journal system.

This has been an absolute game changer for me. I also put notes for things I promised to remind my partner of because I never remember them. Everything is in one spot so I don't have to remember to check multiple lists.

I hope this helps someone out there. Good luck!

Men like to believe theyd be great in apocalypse scenarios but they dont even know how to sew

Some male friends of mine were once talking about how useful they’d be in an apocalypse, and I pointed out that as a weaver and sewer and maker of stuff, I’d be pretty damn useful and they tried to tell me they could just loot clothes from WalMart and they’d be fine. As if WalMart has endless supplies without weekly deliveries.

So just last night a friend of mine was talking about who he’d round up in the event of a zombie apocalypse and how I’m his go-to farmer on account of I know how to keep an entire homestead up and running and we’re talking about what kind of resources I’d need to keep a colony of about 50-ish people alive and i bring up what all goes into processing wool for clothing and such and he just kind of stops me like ‘wait, wait, we don’t need to do all of that because we can scavenge for clothes we don’t need to be able to make them’ and i’m just like, ‘dude, that works in the short-term maybe but if this community is going to be sustainable you’ve gotta have people whose job it is to make clothes and blankets and shit’

also cloth rots pretty quickly when left exposed to the elements and after the first few years or so anything we manage to scavenge isn’t going to be wearable anymore and anywho we’ve got to teach the kids everything or they’re not gonna know what to do some decades down the line when everything’s too rusted or rotted out to be of any practical use anymore, etc etc, and he’s reckoning that things like woodworking and smithing and ranching are more important than say, cleaning or cooking or dairying and meanwhile i’m just smh may all the gods have mercy on this poor fool

He also balked when i brought up how to run a laundry and what all was needed to make everyday shit like soap and toothpaste - like dude, you think this is going to be all about hunting and scavenging and being neato manly-man drifters like in the walking dead let me teach you a thing about keeping a village alive and healthy for more than a week man most of it is shit you keep thinking is non-essential on account of it being “women’s work” or “simple chores” that’re actually pretty labor-intensive and take time, training, knowledge, and practice to do successfully, let alone well, and are 100% absolutely necessary work in order for you to have any reasonably good quality of life after the world ends

reblog only if you’ve received less than 1000 boops! we can all get each other to “max”

(I will boop everyone who reblogs this post, for the record 💖)

💚 Artists and titles will be revealed after the poll closes, so check back for results! Until then, please don't mention the song title in reblogs! (Guesses about everything else are fine and encouraged though; have fun!) 💚

April will start well 🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿🧿

*before someone says it - yes i know some of these have multiple variants, just pick a damn option okay.

I like the expression new-fangled. I don't know what it means for something to be fangled, but I sure as hell know it was recent

It’s from the Old English word feng, which can mean “to take”, or also “to grasp, hold, or embrace”. So something that’s newfangled is something that was taken up recently.

The reason it’s using this pretty archaic root is that it’s an older word than a lot of people think. Here it is in the Canterbury Tales.

Minutes after posting: "Why did I write archaic when I could have gone with old-fangled?"

Reblog to fangle this post

Me sittin’ here, seriously concerned for all the young kids who are gonna’ grow up in this fandom environment thinking they’re secretly evil monsters because their sex fantasies aren’t strictly pure or vanilla or because they ship something with an unhealthy dynamic. Soooooo many people must hate/be terrified of themselves.

Hey…….hey kids…….

You’re fuckin’ fine.

The human brain is weird. Sex fantasies ≠ actual desires. If you ask yourself, “would I want to act out this thing in real life” and the answer is “fuck no,” then you’re fine. Shipping is also not an indicator of what you would condone in real life. You are not secretly a monster. You are a human being. Human beings are complicated. Please calm down and treat yourself to a smoothie or something.

“What you want to read about” is not the same as “what you want to happen in your real life.” 

The murder mystery industry has no problem understanding this. 

The entire “horror” genre is built on this.  Ditto “thrillers”, and indeed most other genres.  In fact, possibly the only genre which isn’t inherently built on this assumption is “romance”, and even there… well, there’s a lot of romance stories which are basically about “I want to experience catharsis” rather than “I want this to happen to me” (consider Wuthering Heights, for example - Heathcliff and Catherine are great to read about, but they would each be hell to live with). 

This also means if you’re asexual but you still like reading stories where people fuck?  You’re still asexual.  If you’re aromantic and enjoy reading romances, you’re still aromantic.  If you’re non-heterosexual and enjoy reading heterosexual porn (because hey, there’s more of it and it’s easier to find than anything else, right?) then you’re still not heterosexual. 

The only thing your taste in reading says anything about is your taste in reading. 

Reblog In 5 seconds for good luck

​this worked last night lets go for round two

I really need some good luck rn

I’m not sure whether I want the $100 or the baby goat; I guess I will leave it up to fate.

i dont care what i get. luck is luck mates