And Then There Was One

the idealized version of my tomorrow self will fix this

not again

Maia

drew this at the end of last year and still like it a lot

that

really love dynamics that are like 'it honestly doesn't matter if you view them as romantic or platonic, the point is that they love each other. the type of love is inconsequential, all that matters is that it's there'. gotta be one of my favorite genders.

Iroh's beautiful niece!!!!!

Things that work in fiction but not real life

Just boys things! its a continuation of this illustration!

worst part about getting angry is how much it makes you want to be mean

sorry i said something dickish. a few mildly frustrating things happened to me in succession and it turned me evil

Honestly love how much Setheris Nelar totally screws things up for himself.

I mean, he was the primary caretaker for the future emperor from when he was eight years old. That's huge! If he had been even slightly less of an absolute dick, he would probably have ended up running the country.

Like, no offence to Csevet, but the first courier who stumbled into Edonomee at 4am with the message about Maia's ascension literally ended up being named Imperial Secretary and granted seemingly unlimited influence over the Emperor and his government. Within less than 24 hours.

That is how desperate Maia was for somebody to hold his hand through this. That could have been you Setheris!

And even if we assume that a version of Maia raised by a version of Setheris who actually gave a shit might have had the additional confidence and education necessary to stand on his own two feet more at the beginning, the Emperor's closest relative/friend/basically dad is still not to be sniffed at!

Again, Setheris raised Maia. He was seemingly the only adult at Edonomee who was tasked with taking care of him (beyond the servants, who seem to have been more involved with the practical stuff than providing any kind of emotional support). Endearing yourself to an eight year old boy, when you have ten years and total isolation to do so, shouldn't be this hard.

If Setheris was even vaguely nice to Maia, he'd have probably ended up forming some kind of strong emotional bond with him just by virtue of there being no other potential parental figures in the vicinity.

(Worth noting that the noblewoman hired to look after him for the funeral was vaguely nice to him for like a week, and Maia remembered that one week for ten years and then sought her out to offer his thanks and financial aid to her family virtually the moment he became emperor. This wasn't a hard kid to make a good impression on, is what I'm saying.)

Hell. If Setheris had managed to hire a nanny/tutor to take care of the bulk of Maia's day-to-day care, and just made the effort to be halfway decent when they passed each other in the hallways of Edonomee, Maia would still most likely have had a better relationship with him than with Varenechibel.

He could have been the slightly less distant father figure who ended up becoming chief advisor. It would have been so easy!

But no. Setheris instead chose to be an abusive shitheel for ten years straight, and now not only is he not trusted, but the Emperor literally cannot stand to be in a room with him without experiencing symptoms of panic attack. Setheris gets basically banished at the first excuse because his very presence at court is just that triggering for Maia.

Like, leaving aside how obviously shitty for him to have treated Maia (a literal child at the time) so badly, this is such a cock-up from a political perspective.

He was given a golden opportunity to mould the next Emperor's entire personality, and he blew it so hard that the Emperor now instinctively frames his likes and dislikes around what he knows Setheris wouldn't have approved of.

This should have felt like a reward, y'know? The return to court after all this time? The seemingly friendless kid you spent ten years caring for ending up being the fucking Emperor?

I mean, just imagine getting basically everything you ever wanted served up to you gift wrapped on a silver platter, only for it to be immediately snatched away because you are just such an utter repulsive cunt of a human being. Imagine having to admit out loud in front of several witnesses (including the main victim of your abuse and your own beloved wife) that you 100% deserve this because you are just that shitty.

Honestly couldn't have happened to a nicer guy.

shout out to shen qingqiu for being the most controversial mxtx lead despite also being the only one who isn't a serial killer.

god forbid men don't do anything

whenever i'm trying to talk myself out of buying something i don't need i always hear my old russian professor's voice echoing in my head: "WHAT??? WILL YOU DIE THE RICHEST MAN IN THE GRAVEYARD?" and then i make an unwise financial decision

i'm so glad i happened to see these tags this is the best thing anyone has added to this post so far

new tarot card Zero of Cups. no cups

tags from crtastrophe have been peer reviewed and i LIKE them

*to clarify, the concert and movie recordings are ONLY based on the recordings. No visuals.

I love chenqing. fuckass evil flute that everyone hates. somehow considered more dangerous than the literal magic swords everyone else has. supposedly made of bamboo but wei wuxian was out there whacking people with it on the battlefield. it's a vessel to channel dark and fucked up magic, but it was also a toddler's favorite teething toy. it's great.

ok im waffling on about fallout instead of having breakfast but i saw a criticism of how the prisoners were treated that's stuck with me.

spoilers!

so i think the criticism wasn't incorrect, per se: it condemned the way the show portrayed the vault dweller's naive intention to rehabilitate their murderous captives. it found fault with a common, and horrible, message that tv shows like to say, which is that carcerial violence and even the death penalty is the only effective way to deal with criminals, who are a fundamentally Bad category of human. im sick of that message too! but i think that wasn't what was going on here, actually.

so like, the vault dwellers had only ever experienced violent loss the once, and didn't really know how to cope other than denial and repression of the ordeal. but they were all hopeful and enthusiastic that their prisoners, the invaders that came to kill them all and take their stuff, could be eventually welcomed into the community as their comrades. the champions of this cause were nebbishy dorks and painfully out of touch academics. this is pretty normal for how prison reformers are portrayed, if extremely fucking annoying for those of us who ARE in favor of prison reform.

but so of course when the son of the former overseer, Norm, speaks up and suggests killing the prisoners, because why should they share resources with invaders who explicitly wanted to keep hurting them? why should they show mercy to their attackers? everyone is appalled by this suggestion. because they had to reinvent the whole concept of vengeance right then and there, because grudges and cycles of violence are anathema to a bottle society like theirs. they have been raised all their lives to forgive and forget and now, put to the test, they're recommitting to this ethos: get along, let the past go, look towards the future, believe the best of everyone.

but the prisoners die, anyway. the prisoners are killed with rat poison. and the thing is that Norm who suggested it didn't do it himself. and the prison guard who's blamed for it, even though she privately agreed with Norm that the prisoners are dangerous and unforgiveable, she didn't do it either. it's not a moment of triumphant, cathartic vengeance and it doesn't prove that there's no way to negotiate with terrorists and invaders but kill them like vermin because that's not what the message is meant to be.

the message is that norm stands there in the middle of these inconvenient prisoners, these corpses dressed in his own people's uniforms, and he looks at the new overseer. and he knows that she killed them, and she knows that he knows. she wanted him to know. this is her message and he's reading her loud and clear. and he doesn't look like a guy who's just been backed up by authority, who's just been validated in his desire for the ultimate control over those who have wronged him.

he's scared and pale and the music is ominous as fuck. and he's inside the cell, he's directly in the middle of it.

because what just happened is that he realized his entire society is being held prisoner, and the overseer is the one with the rat poison. and that he doesn't know, anymore, what freedom and safety and justice actually mean, just that he doesn't have them and he doesn't know where to find them.

that's what that scene meant. not that rehabilitative justice is a pathetic delusion of people who have no idea how to make hard choices.

but that before you advocate for killing prisoners, you might want to see how big that prison is, first.

and which side of the bars you're standing on.