I need to (remembers to not make casual suicide jokes in order to encourage a more outwardly positive mindset and healthy conversational environment in my day to day life) kill myself

government is trying to ban tiktok meanwhile millions of poor and disabled americans are about to completely lose their internet access at the end of april because congress wont renew funding for the affordable connectivity program

hell fucking world

if you want to help us convince congress to do something that actually benefits society, please check out the link below. we only have roughly 45 days of affordable internet service remaining from the time this post has been written

say that shit

As of April 19, 2024 we currently have just 10 days of ACP funding left

please spread this and reach out to your representatives before its too late to save this vital program

guys the email stuff seems super intimidating but it's so easy. put your name, email, and city and they'll send in the emails FOR YOU. all repaired and written

we just keep naming bugs like this

learned today (after googling it upon seeing the "Sadomasochism Brothers" post) that masochism was named by a psychiatrist who had read Leopold von Sacher-Masoch's erotic writing and was like "I feel safe in concluding that this man had Fucked-Up Freak Sex Disorder, which now until forever will bear his name", while von Sacher-Masoch was still alive. there are accounts of von Sacher-Masoch being like "bro what the fuck" about this

if the marquis de sade saw that sadism had been named after him, he would go "fuck yes"

oh no i'm being humiliated in public i hate this - Mr Masochism

where's-

where's the-

im laughing so hard because no matter what song you listen to 

spiderman dances to the beat

no matter what song ive been testing it and lauing my ass off for an hour

hey guys do you want to circulate the heirloom dancing spiderman again i feel like we could stand to do that

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a slapping,

As of some one gently flapping, flapping at my chamber door.

“’Tis some fairy,” I muttered, “slapping at my chamber door—

            Only this and nothing more.”

Quoth the walrus, "Are you sure?"

had to draw it

rb this and tell me what ur accent is. this has no purpose except the fact i just realized i could have like... mutuals with cockney accents or newfoundland accents or something and thats just wild

highlights of the responses:

me: “okay, who stole all my 5 tons of dragon cum?

my car:

Your what

okay, this post sent me INSANE. Not because of the cursed nonsense its saying, although that was pretty funny, but because of that image. I have seen it before, floating around the supposedly humorous corners of the internet, always captioned with something or rather.

But where did it come from? What was it?

So begins the bizarre rabbit hole that was finding the actual source for this fucking picture.

This image has been used in memes and gags since about 2011, but its source seemed to link back to a series of 2009 articles on Erwin Wurm’s Fat Cars series of sculptures.

Erwin Wurm is an austrian artist and sculptor who made a series of life sized “fat” cars from 2001 to 2005, along with a whole lot of other sculptures including a pickle, a van bent in half, a ute parked half up a wall, a truck who’s tray is bent up onto the wall, and a fat house. Check out his art gallery site, it’s pretty cool:

There’s just one problem. This particular image is NOT one of his sculptures.

The internet insisted that it was. But it wasn’t. Apart from appearing to be a photo-manipulation rather than a sculpture, it also didn’t fit the art style of the rest of his series. My search continued.

I was following dead link after dead link through the wayback machine, but everything led back to 2009 articles on Erwin Wurm’s sculptures, but the images themselves were from even older blogspot posts with no attribution.

I kept digging.

Pinterest, of all things, was to be my saviour.

The same image, again, but this time, something was different. You could see more of the driveway, more of the hedge, the image itself zoomed out. The meme image was a cropped version!

There was a caption: “Think about what it consumes before buying”, and a url too small to read. The pinterest post itself linked, again, to an article on Erwin Wurm.

I would not let this be a dead end, I had come too far. I opened up the page source on pinterest and grabbed the image url, and let google image search run a reverse image search on this new, uncropped image.

At last, like an angel rising from the ashes of a thousand ancient links to Erwin Wurm, was my saviour. The beginning. The source:

An ad campaign on energy efficiency by the Belgian Government from 2007.

It is part of a series of four ads, including a washing machine:

a fridge:

and a radiator:

Don’t ask me why it thinks that radiator is another washing machine. I assume its a translator error.

Thank you for following me on this insane journey. The name Erwin Wurm will haunt my dreams.

Think About Whatit Consumes Before Buying. Check WWW EnergyvoresBE

Don’t tell your daughter that when a boy is mean or rude to her it’s because he has a crush on her. Don’t teach her that abuse is a sign of love.

My mom always taught me yell or fight back. Boys would be mean and I would yell back. I would get my ass pinched and I would smack them as hard as I could.

Who alway got in trouble? Me.

They would call my mother and she always came in and lectures my teachers and threatened to sue for making her miss work and treating me poorly.

She always taught my brothers to respect women. The only fights my brothers ever got in was defending women from someone else.

The school tried to call my father once instead of my mother on us. He came in in his full preacher outfit (being a preacher and all) and gave them an entire sermon on what would Jesus day of he was called in. They decided dealing with my mom was better.

I think my favorite story of this is when some kid snapped my bra and I turned around, didn’t even think about it, and punched that little motherfucker right in the nose.

So naturally, I end up in the principal’s office, refusing to apologize. 

“He shouldn’t have put his hands on me and I wouldn’t have hit him!” That’s the only thing I was saying.

These people had the unfortunate luck of catching my dad at home, instead of my mom. So he comes fucking sauntering in there, like he’s Clint fucking Eastwood in some western movie and looks at me. 

“Melissa, did you punch him?” 

“Yes.” I said. 

“Why?” 

“Because he snapped my bra strap.” 

And he turns his squinty eyed glare to the principal and says, “You’re telling me my daughter is in trouble because that squirrely looking kid put his hands on her and she chose to defend herself? That’s what you are saying to me.” 

“Well, sir-” The man kind of stuttered because my dad is kind of intimidating in the quiet sort of way that kind of whispers in the back of your mind that this person could be dangerous. “Melissa did make it physical.” 

“No. That kid put his hands on my daughter. Are you saying my daughter cannot defend herself when some boy decides to put hands on her? Is that what you are teaching my girl?” 

I didn’t get suspended that day.  

*slow clap for excellent parenting*

This is the parent I want to be omg

I went to a nun school. 

The nuns there were like, so rad. 

It was a party organized for the end of the school year, and I was helping in the kitchen to prepare stuff with a nun and a bunch of little girls. There was one of the girls’ little brother who was there. 

There was a little girl who was carrying a bowl of tomato sauce and was going outside, but the boy was just in front of her and he slammed the door in her face. She dropped the bowl on the floor and got all messy. 

So what happened? 

The nun went outside, took the boy by the arm, and gave him an epic speech going around the lines of: “Would you treat the Virgin Mary like that, young man?” “Nnnnno…” “Then treat every girl like she’s the Virgin Mary.” Not only the boy had to apologize to the little girl, but he also had to clean up and he was put on kitchen duty for the rest of the day. 

Then another day, in catechism class (I was a in a girls’ school, mind you), the nun was there telling us: “If a guy touches you in a way you don’t like, punch him in the face. It’s not a sin against charity. On the contrary, you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.” 

So I was at my desk during class looking like this: 

Reblogging for awesome dads and kickass nuns.

“you’re being charitable by showing him he’s sinning by impurity and you’ll save him from going to hell.”

What a mood.

Jesus said if guys hands were causing them sin-problems, they should cut them off.  Face-punching seems like a good pre-amputation steps, to prevent it getting that far.

Can't decide whether it's funnier to say "my hungry ass could never work at a" and then say something that implies you're eating something truly grotesque or something that just, makes no sense

"my hungry ass could never be a brain surgeon" awful. 10/10

"my hungry ass could never be a truck driver" ????? 10/10

EATYIGNIN TIJOK;L'HE????

my robo miku design! (m1-ku if you would)

Maids, cleaners, janitors, and sanitation workers are all the most important people of civilization by far. Even 12 hours without them is VERY noticable and they simply need to be highly compensated for it

'Six AM', 1930 - William Wolfson

Hi, I'm a janitor. The facility I work in had its first floor flooded with sewage and while a restoration company came and sucked up all the water and placed fans everywhere to try the place out, I still cleaned the entire floor and threw away all the contaminated furniture. Same thing happened last year, but only a couple of rooms flooded on that floor and it was only water from a sprinkler system. This year was so much worse and I feel like no one in management gives a shit. The entire upstairs was absolutely going to shit because I was focused on the downstairs. Despite the work I do, I have to beg folks to spread around my little bear commission posts every month because I simply can't afford to live on what I'm paid lol

So, truly thanks to everyone who makes and shares posts like these recognizing sanitation workers. It's really a thankless job.