now you're sucking diesel!

Controversial take if I've ever heard one

HEARTBREAKING: character actually mildly interesting to think about but I Dont like their fans

I feel that this is important to add

I personally call them the gayest two, fight me if you do not agree with.

Huge fan of when my speech patterns rub off on people enjoy when thay happens

NEVERMIND MY GRANDMA JUST SAID SKILL ISSUE

If you're mean to anyone for being fat even if they're a bad person I think I should be allowed to throw bowling balls at you over and over again for at least an hour.

only thing i know for certain is that if "breaking bad" took place during modern times, jesse would've used his cash to buy a drone and there would've been a sick ass sequence filmed from drone perspective and one episode cold open would've been all scary and sinister and it would end with an ominous shot of the drone laying all crushed and fucked up on the floor to imply harm done to jesse. and it would be really sad

We have to kill microtransactions

its so darkly funny that teslas are just full of features that straight up kill you for literally no other reason than one man's adolescent idea of what makes a car 'cool'

getting new technology feels more infuriating every year. got a new computer for the first time in 8 years and everything about windows 11 and how it handles onedrive is driving me up the wall

the general attitude towards the user feels so much more opaque and condescending than it used to be. like "nuh-uh, we don't think you REALLY want to change that setting so we'll have an extra secret hidden step to make sure you do it our way instead :)" gargle my balls microsoft

answered a scam call today and had the most bizarre conversation

scam caller: hello, how are you today?

me: great!

scam caller: good. I’m calling because your IP address has been compromised. I’ll just need you to get in front of your computer so we can get your account fixed up.

me: okay! there is one thing I’m wondering, though

scam caller: what?

me: you really couldn’t think of a better lie?

scam caller:

me: like, my “IP address has been compromised.” How, exactly, does an IP address become “compromised”?

scam caller:

me: I was just wondering, is all

scam caller: why did you answer?

me:

me: what?

scam caller: if you knew this wasn’t a legitimate call, then why did you answer?

me: oh, I just though I would have some fun at your expense.

scam caller: what expense? talking is no expense to me.

me: well, you’re currently not accomplishing your goal

scam caller: my goal?

me: your goal of scamming my elderly grandmother. You’re not accomplishing that. I’d call that an expense.

scam caller: well, can I scam you?

me:

me: did you- did you ask if you can scam me?

scam caller: yes. can I scam you?

me, baffled: sure, you can try

scam caller: you need to get in front of your computer

me: yeah, that’s still a problem. I’m eating tater tots right now and I really don’t feel like getting up.

scam caller: okay. I will call you tomorrow morning, then.

me: I might not answer. My grandma definitely won’t.

scam caller: You answered today.

me: …touché?

scam caller: I will call you tomorrow. Have a good day.

Enemies to lovers, slow burn, 500K

This reads like a bit from a British sketch comedy.