Go cheer yourselves up, ladies. The comments are absolutely inspired.

This little asshole keeps getting into a bird feeder, so we need to test how small is *too* small

3 inch opening: no problem

2.75 inch opening: Easy

2.5 inch opening: doing fine

2.25 inch opening: Bit of a struggle, but as Mr Meeseeks says: CAAAN DOO!

2 inch opening: Alright, lets try chewing the opening a bit, As long as we get the nuts into the mouth (huhuhu) we good I guess…

Uh-oh… Steve is getting greedy

:insert grunts of effort here:

Taking a break…

The guy who made the original video decided after a long struggle to help Steve out.

A New Challenger approaches!

1.75 inchs: Quote Mr Meseeks: “OOOHHH HE’S TRYING”

GIMME GIMME GIMME

He ends up giving up.

Source: Chris Notap - Squirrel ● literally ● bites off more than he can chew ! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sS4ach0CwN4

via imgur

Science

I love it

What I learned is that I am not the only person who calls all squirrels Steve

stop it steve

mood:

His little hands at the end sent me into a frenzy of laughter.

hnmmm what if i just HHEGGDHEHHDGGEGEGGDGGDGEGEGE

At any given time I am probably one of these squirrel gifs

squint at my posts boy

literally no better feeling than blurting out some loud dumbass joke with your buddies and hearing a total stranger ugly-snort-laugh as they walk past bc their own laughter caught them by surprise. find joy and connection in the spontaneity of strangers you son of a bitch. i fucking got your ass

This is what it's like when I say the dumbest things imaginable to my wife or partner in the checkout lines to see if the cashier will crack a smile. A little human connection between the drudgery.

A few years ago when my little sister was maybe ten or so we went to this like, novelty/antiques store which had an impressive amount of really bad taxidermy. We were sort of doing our own things and I was across the room from her so when she spots this horrible fish she has to run over and yell “ come see the ugliest taxidermied old fish I’ve ever seen “ at me. Without even thinking I just said “you’re the ugliest taxidermied old fish I’ve ever seen.” Which got a snort from an old man across the room. Anyways a few minutes later my stepmom came in and my sister said the same thing to her, and without missing a beat my stepmom deadpans “your father’s the ugliest taxidermied old fish I’ve ever seen”. The old guy absolutely LOST it

i want to coin a phrase that's the opposite of writer's block. call it the muse's fire hydrant. thirty thousand story ideas are being beamed directly into your brain and if you don't write them all at once you will die.

yknow what i mean?

Wizard worm just emerged from a wizarding hole! Lucky you!!!✨🪱🪄🍀

Claim this luck! I know you can use it right about now!

English added by me :)

Can't believe Peter Griffin really tried it.

Ok but I'd the second dude like...a vampire? Because my straight ass is bewitched.

[Transcript:

(the first person has text over them that says "being fat and wanting a girlfriend")

First person: "See what's behind this door..!"

(Door has text over it that says "fat girls" while The Toccata and Fugue in D minor plays in the background)

First person: "Noo, is there a bett-"

Second person: " Yo it's funny that there's an entire demographic, of petite women who love bigger men. But because you've just ousted yourself, as a cunt, it's never gonna happen for you mate. You're really out here body shaming, all these beautiful shawties, big body Bugatti (kiss noise), exquisite; but you're built like a less cool Bling Bling Boy from Johnny Test. Make it make sense mate. It doesn't- it really doesn't. Could've kept your mouth shut. But you had to say something. And you even went so far as to put it on the internet. And you thought that was a good idea because-? Please, take yourself elsewhere. Sincerely the entire fucking human race."

End transcript.]

The moment that man started speaking -

That transcript up there is great, but it fails to mention that the second person? Has a voice like... warm caramel. Like a blanket on a rainy day. Like the gentle creak of an ancient tree in an even more ancient forest. A voice that's a low, deep -- far deeper than expected -- warm, and has a soothing timbre that, honestly, I could listen to for hours.

I'm gonna link to the animations in case y'all either don't remember or have never heard of some of these.

A quick note: these were made in the 2000s. Comedy is subjective, there's some strong examples of dark and/or "lolz teh random" humor in these. Maybe some cultural blindness, too. That said, enjoy a time capsule of stuff made before/during the birth of Youtube, now hosted on Youtube.

Kenya

Salad Fingers, episode 2

End of Ze World

Schfifty Five

The Hamster Dance

Badgers

"Rejected" by Don Hertzfeldt

Charlie the Unicorn

The Llama Song

Peanut Butter Jelly Time

times when i (an american) feel patriotic:

-listening to the liberty's kids theme song -the olympics -watching logan sargeant race in f1 -when a british person insults my accent -every time im in an old navy -gazing upon the bass pro shops pyramid -when i see a really good 4th of july meme -on the off chance i listen to hamilton from top to bottom -in the american girl doll store -driving on country highways and seeing fireworks billboards -eating 99c pizza and bagels with cream cheese in nyc -any time someone says the us measurement system is stupid -schoolhouse rock -amtrak trains

Star Wars except Obi Wan’s Jedi robe is the “I killed my husband for the insurance money” robe

“Call Me Maybe” with every other beat removed

YOU’RE STUBBORN, JEANS STOLEN, NIGHT ROWING

THINK YOU’RE BABY?

HEY AND YOU, AMAZING, BUT YOMBER, SO CLAYBE 

my gf crafted this with lots of care for yall. pls enjoy:

losing my mind over this

THINK YOU’RE BABY?!

Doing this benefits these species tremendously. They can become so rare over such a vast area as people destroy the only plants they can eat, every single one that survives makes a positive difference!