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Honestly, do you want to know my hot take on Taylor Swift? Like, for real? You want me to weigh in on this discourse? I’ll do it. Listen up, okay, because this is about to get real. Every time I hear Taylor Swift, every single solitary time I hear her name, I think, “What a great name for a speedster.”

Imagine Taylor Swift running as fast as she can, trying to break the sound barrier so that she can take herself back in time to 2009 and stop Kanye West from interrupting her VMA speech, but just as she’s about to put a vibrating hand through his chest, a THIRD Taylor Swift explodes through a swirling portal and tackles her, preventing the impending flashpoint paradox.

improvising is always funny, right

I’m really glad this took off because my dad almost peed his pants at dinner

most dangerous places on earth: volcanoes 

why

Nowhere to grab a bite to eat

This is SO worth :54 of your time. 😂

my very small yet ongoing collection of anime guys eating things they arent supposed to eat in total silence

i hope this video is 5 minutes long someday

that’s deep bro

Texts From Superheroes

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there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*

Homer, the DM: Okay guys, so the war’s over, you had a bunch of losses but you won in the end. Time to go home, let’s roll to see who gets there firs—

Odysseus’s player: I got a critical failure.

Homer: The cyclops asks you who you are. What do you do?

Odysseus’s player: I say, “Who me? I’m nobody.”

Homer: Roll for deception.

Odysseus’s player: I got a natural 20.

Homer: The cyclops now completely believes that your name is Nobody. He shouts for help from the other cyclops but they ignore him because he’s telling them that “Nobody hurt him.”

Odysseus’s player: FUCK yes

discourse intended: hard shell tacos are better than soft shell

@everyone that has commented: uhhhh are you all lazy? dont like a little fun when youre eating? sad.

Texts From Superheroes

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me: i want to pursue my dreams in literature, the humanities, and the arts!

also me: passion??? in this economy????