Is this what I get for being open and honest

Truly the all time funniest writer thing is when you're doing edits and you think to yourself "omg I've got the PERFeCT sentence to add right here!" and then you stick it in all excited, only to find that literally three lines down you have virtually that exact same sentence in the draft already.

danny’s fenton/phantom mix outfit in micro management is my favourite

i got these knockoff boots online and instead of the brand name on the tag they have the name of an apparently nonexistent martin scorsese movie??? what the fuck

kitten

man. what on earth.

ok i flipped it. sorry

The last time we were on a long flight, my wife and I invented a game we call "Little Guy."

You start a game of Little Guy by saying, "I'm gonna hand you a little guy." The little guy is some kind of baby animal you are imagining. "Oh," she might say in response, "Okay," and hold out her hands for it. I will then mime handing her the animal. This provides some clues as to the little guy's size, weight, and general ungainliness.

She then gets to ask questions about what kind of little guy this is, BUT NO QUESTIONS ABOUT HIS ACTUAL APPEARANCE OR SPECIES ARE ALLOWED. Qualitative questions, or questions about his behavior, are the only ones permitted. She can ask "Is he soft?" or "Does he seem nervous about being held?" or "If I put him in the bathtub, does he seem okay with that?" or "Would he like a lil grape?" or "Is he the sort of little fellow who would wear a vest in a children's book?" but not "Does he have fur," "Is he a reptile," "Is he from Asia," etc. Some questions are in a grey area so you have to follow your heart, but the point is not to identify the animal as fast as possible: the point is to guess the animal purely based on vibes + how he would act if he were in your living room right now.

And I'm not limited to yes or no answers! If she asks, "Would it feel appropriate to see this little guy in a propeller hat?" I can reply, "Oh no, he has a gravity to him. A bowler hat would be a more appropriate hat." Or if she asks, "Does this little guy have protagonist energy?" I can say something like, "he probably wouldn't be the main character in a children's cartoon. He'd probably be the main character's ditzy best friend who's always eating sandwiches, or something."

We're big Twenty Questions to kill time in a waiting room people, but Little Guy is more about the journey than the destination. It's got a different kind of sauce that's nice if "killing time" and "lowering anxiety" need to happen hand in hand.

anti-egg vegans are always a hoot. like, she’s not using it. it’s not fertilized. it’s going to rot and attract predators. you want me to just throw it in the trash??

its still animal exploitation, is it not?

do you think a chicken with zero emotional attachment to the egg she popped out feels exploited when that egg leaves the coop?

if that unfertilized egg cracked in the pen there’s not a chicken who would wait 0.002 seconds to slurp that shit down raw and unseasoned but I’m supposed to exploit foreign children farming for slave wages and ship all of their staple crops across the world to me instead. and this feels like the moral high ground to them. alright

i feel largely similar about plastic ""vegan leather"" -- in recent years, each year, millions of pounds of cow hides have been thrown out as offal because there's less demand for real leather. none of the "cruelty-free" shit saved those cows. it just created more waste out of them.

honestly this is how i feel about plastic versions of things we used to make out of bone, like needles, childrens cutlery, etc etc etc. i think if we're going to have cattle (and theres no ethical path to Not having Some cattle anymore) then we should use the entriety of the beast or its disrepsectful, also using the whole animal means that theres no corners to be cut, if the skin is scratched you loose money, if the bones are weak you loose money, its just a good way to ensure the systemic health of the cows.

AGSZC Taking Care of Their Feral Chocobo (often against his will)

Just some OOC crack excerpts from Cloud being feral and his boyfriends suffering.

from many a conversation with @strayheartless

-----------------------------------------------------------

Unjust Punishments

Cloud: *has dorm toilet duty for "fighting with" bullies* Eh, this isn't the worst thing someone in charge has done for something that's not my fault.

*Everyone's gaze sharpening dramatically*

Sephiroth: What WAS the worst thing?

Cloud, casually: Oh probably that time I saved the mayor's daughter and was almost thrown in jail with my broken ribs...or maybe the time Johnson...never mind, I got him back so it's fine!

*One-Winged Angel starts playing from four directions at once*

Cloud: The mayor thing was only that bad because I was 8 and freaking out too much, no big deal because Ma stopped them from actually throwing me in jail.

*Estuans interius...*

Cloud: And Johnson's nuts are crushed now, so yeah, all good.

*Ira vehementi...*

A little while later...

Cloud: Hey Zack?

Zack: Yeah, buddy?

Cloud: You know I love cuddling you...

Zack: YES, ME TOO! *squeezes tighter*

Cloud: ...but I get the feeling I'm stuck, and I'd like to know for how long.

*Zoom out to see Zack and Cloud have been tightly wrapped in a burrito together, squirreled away in Genesis' giant bed-nest, and their whole burrito bundle is swaddled so thoroughly that escape seems untenable. Outside, sounds of growling, pacing, and theme music can be heard*

Zack: IDK, last time they got me after I almost got trampled by a behemoth, they had me in here for a day or two. I say just enjoy it. I definitely am! *Pecks on cheek* You're the cutest!

-------------------------------------------------------------

Medication

Genesis: "That's it, next time it's going to be liquid!"

Next time...

Genesis: *covered in disgusting cough syrup and germs* "NEXT TIME IT'S GOING TO BE A SHOT."

Next time...

The shot goes awry and gets injected wrong and now Cloud looks like the most sad and pathetic creature to ever walk the earth because (a) they BETRAYED HIM and (b) the shot got injected into something that HURTS and it was a NEEDLE and they BETRAYED HIM. Little tears glisten on his feverish cheeks and the tiniest of whimpers comes out and he holds his injured arm extra gingerly, and now everyone feels awful. 🥺

Genesis: "...fine, next time it'll be pills."

------------------------------------------------------------------

Weaponized Cuteness

Cloud: *doesn't want to do something* *stands next to Angeal and rubs his head*

Angeal: Awww my precious chocobaby, does your head hurt?

Cloud: *looks away, pouting*

Angeal: Sweetheart, we have to take care of ourselves. Here, sit down in the shade and have some juice.

Zack: *offended puppy noises* GEAL MY HEAD HURTS TOOOOO

Angeal: It does not, keep squatting

Cloud: *smirking behind his juice box*

-

Zack: Kunsel, you gotta help us, he's playing them! You see that, right?!

Kunsel: Yep.

Zack: Great, then we need you to tell the-

Kunsel: Nope.

Zack: What do you mean "nope"?! YOU ACKNOWLEDGE WHAT HE'S DOING?!!!!

Kunsel: Yep, and it is hilarious 🍿🍿🍿

-

It backfires when Cloud is actually unwell and doesn't want help.

Cloud: *coughs up blood very quietly* Bye guys, I'm off to kill a zo- er, off on a patrol!

Angeal: *appears from the ether* No, you are not.

Cloud: But 🥺 I gotta, for work!

Angeal: I smell blood.

Later...

Zack: Heh.

Cloud: Shut the fuck up.

Zack: Nah, you look like a marshmallow and I will take as many blackmail pics as I please, my angry little muffin!

Cloud: *growling and coughing up blood from his straightjacket cocoon*

-

Genesis being manipulated into giving Cloud's lactose intolerant ass more cheese:

---------------------------------------------------------------

They burrito him for the flu one time and come home to find that he CHEWED THROUGH the cocoon and is out racing Roche with a raging fever.

---------------------------------------------------------------

It's cold, and Angeal is frantically wrapping Cloud up in many layers because he's "small" (compared to the giraffes the rest of them are) and unenhanced...and now Cloud is passing out from heatstroke before because his Nibelheim genes are strong.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Cloud: *sways*

Angeal, from two floors away: ...I smell naughty bird. GENESIS!

Genesis: Angeal?

Angeal: Did you eat today?

Genesis: Yes.

Angeal: 🤨

Genesis: SIGH I had a breakfast sandwich and a chicken dish for lunch from the cafeteria.

Angeal: Good. My bird senses were tingling, so I... *Looks at Genesis* 😱

Genesis: 😱 CLOUD

They both make it downstairs just in time to catch him. He hadn't eaten in a day and a half.

my one skill is expertly manipulating the shape of the eggs I’m cooking so that they fit perfectly onto my toast every time

Bow down to your king

I can’t stop outdoing myself

Remember that post? The one that said “what if we all have super powers but they’re so mundane we don’t realize?” That post? This is proof that post was right

there's a cherry blossom tree in DC that keeps blooming every year even though it shouldn't and the park service keeps thinking it's dead and then it keeps blooming! well they're removing a lot of trees to rehabilitate the area and they've said it's finally time for stumpy to go and they're going to mulch it and use the mulch to enrich all the other trees so it can help everything else keep going. and they're also going to plant spliced little pieces of it all over so that stumpy can live forever and this is genuinely sending me into a spiral

someone brought it flowers today

STUMPY MY BELOVED!!!!

For added context on what rehabilitating the area means: there are structural issues with the Tidal Basin seawall that cause flooding like this independent of rainfall. Big portions of the sidewalk in Stumpy’s section are regularly submerged, which is bad for the land and the trees themselves, not to mention an accessibility issue for visitors.

It’s sad that Stumpy and many other trees in the area will need to be cut down, but it will ensure the continued survival of the other trees in the area, and Stumpy himself will live on in his cuttings!

I believe Stumpy will be taken to the national arboretum and his clones will return to the tidal basin after the rebuilding.

Someone left him a bottle of bourbon as an offering.

The Japanese Embassy came to pay him honor this week.

Stumpy and his cohort are part of the original gift from Japan more than 100 years ago, and many have lived this long bc the National Parks takes care of them. Normally the trees live about 40-50 years.

Obsessed with Vision Zero Vancouver’s energy

Aperture Science energy

*breakcore music*

How do you take your coffee?

Inspired by this <3

After School Ghost Theory 101 with Professor Fenton

Switch to light mode or Classic Blue to get the full transparency effect!

[Image ID: A four page comic that starts with Danny Fenton standing in front of a whiteboard holding up a white cat. “Question: Do ghosts purr?” 

Tucker: “Danny when was the last time you slept?” Danny: “Irrelevant.” 

Danny info-dumps: “The answer is yes, but also no. Technically, all beings that possess a core are constantly "purring”, a.k.a. Core Vibrations. Core Vibrations are a nonverbal, emotion-based communication system between Ghosts, similar to how some living species use pheromones to communicate. The exact tone of each ghost is different the same way people’s voices are different. Humans can only hear these vibrations when the frequency passes through their audible range (20Hz - 20KHz), hence the ‘purring’ sound. When the range dips into infrasound (16 - 20Hz) it can cause feelings of fear and unease in humans that they often associate with ghosts and the supernatural. Also known as the ‘Heebie Jeebies.’”

Danny, wiping off the whiteboard: “Any questions before we move on?“

Danny’s audience consists of Wes Weston, Tucker Foley, Sam Manson, Danny’s clone Ellie, and Dash Baxter in a classroom. Wes is seated at a desk at the front taking notes. Tucker is sitting on Sam’s lap playing on a Switch, Ellie is sitting on a desk behind them. Dash is asleep at the back of the room.

Ellie, now holding the cat: “Is this Vlad’s first cat!?” Wes: "Could you tone down the floating eyes before the next part? They’re kinda distracting.” Danny: “What eyes?” Wes: “Please stop gaslighting me.”

A transparency trick on the last page reveals dark shadows and eyes all around Danny when viewed in dark mode. /.End ID]

An Extended Image ID is available under the read more because it’s over 1k. Side by side light and dark mode versions of the transparency trick is also available under the cut.

Keep reading

Two puppy commissions in one!

Eighty Percent

the neck beard is a weird way to draw my mom, but yeah that's how the conversation goes