Me and the Girls Going Out for a Swim

How we weigh an octopus!

The fucked up thing is that Texas actually looks like this

evil bruno mars i’d throw a grenade at you

Only day you can reblog this

Big fan of angels being autistic btw. "How does an entity like that have a neurological condition" Well they can act like that. Angels having traits that read as autistic. Incomprehensible being trying for their best mimicry of human behavior. You understand

First day on earth pretending to be a Normal Human. Eye contact is weird when you only have two of them. Trying out physical sensations. Touching things with different textures. Picked a leaf off a bush and ate it. People are looking at me weird. Sorry. Say something normal. Do you know when the bus gets here

Second day as a Normal Human. Not used to standing still because I'm usually a four dimensional shape turning within itself. I understand the bus schedule now. Blessed someone's baby today. Trying out smells and tastes. Went to a bakery. People are looking at me again. Loudly announced I love bread

Third day as a Normal Human. I thought I understood the bus schedule but it's not here. Got in an argument with a street preacher. The bus is here. Went to a coffee shop. Really enjoying smells and tastes. Blessed someone's dog. I think I'm doing a good job

call my pussy a truffle the way your hog is hunting it down through the bush

BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

in a heartbeat

Why is tumblr celebrating one piece and not this incredibly important religious date

Breakfast

I love vampire the masquerade- taking no bullshit frfr

telling a girl to stop killing people is like the single most misogynist thing you could ever do

YEAH WELL YOU KNOW WHAT?! *turns into a bat and flies away*