a collection of covid tweets, part 5

(the tweet collection series)

This is wildly accurate.

okay this is slightly off topic but this story is too good to pass up

alright so my high school english teacher was the fucking BEST. we love that man. he was an english phd who was a professor but thought high school kids were smarter so he skipped out of his high paying college job to be the oh captain my captain dude and we were all so down for it. he taught us all freshman year, had a heart attack, pushed through and came back senior year and we were THRILLED. he sent us cards and shit saying he was so sorry he didn’t get to teach us this year FROM THE HOSPITAL. i adore this man.

i can’t remember what the book we were reading was for the life of me, but it was about rich ass americans living in europe and the central conflict was between old money mannered americans and new money wild and free americans you know how it be.

my teacher was also so open to whatever interpretations we had but in the middle of this book we were talking about how weird it was that one of the older old-money woman was so possessive of the main character (younger dude old money) and we couldn’t really figure out why she’d care. in the middle of this, my teacher puts down his book and sighs deeply.

“they have an extramarital relationship, you know that, right?”

the entire class collectively goes, “WHAT?”

“yeah. they’re a couple. that’s why she’s always hovering around him and controlling what he does.”

mind you, this class is a group of ap students at a catholic school. no teacher would ever point something out like this. it’s not in the book. someone asks, “it’s not in the text, though?”

the man starts LAYING OUT the historical context of these ex-pat american societies and shatters our minds. he’s sleeping with her to move up in social status and her husband KNOWS ABOUT IT and doesn’t GIVE A SHIT. it’s an open secret! this woman is TWICE THE AGE of the younger dude! she’s a milf on the loose with him and he’s BOTTOMING and this is a LITERARY CLASSIC.

he finishes laying this out and we are SHOCKED. the SCANDAL. the DRAMA! it’s glorious! we’ve never been so engaged in class!

i’m so shocked by the end of it for how hard he’s blown my mind that i just stumbled out “they’re fucking?!” out of shock and awe and he looks me dead in my eyes and goes “oh yeah.”

the entire class lost it

THEY’RE BACK

can you fucking imagine being mikey way during pretty much any mcr concert ever and literally having to watch your flesh and blood brother deep throat a microphone, make out with your bandmate, grab his own crotch, stick his entire hand down his pants, and beat the shit out of the same bandmate he was making out with 2 seconds ago. mad respect for mikey way that man witnessed unimaginable things

“But for the people who want to be there, it’s perfect.”

i have never seen anyone look so much like one of those dancing wind sock people before

something that no one asked for but I still think is necessary: some of my favorite letterboxd lists

for some reason this post is blowing up again, so here are some other great letterboxd lists

how did you forget the BEST ONE

“By definition, you have to live until you die. Better to make that life as complete and enjoyable an experience as possible, in case death is shite, which I suspect it will be.”

RIP Beautiful Prince.

WTF TORONTO

No this is totally normal for Toronto.

hmmm

The Timeless Trilogy

im happy they worked it out

I need updates on this 

are they still bffs?

I love this:

did a redraw of one of my fave drawings of the bug bois from a year ago ^3^

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