Do you have any tips for writing enemies to lovers?

Hi, love!  Thanks for your question and your patience

Enemies-to-lovers is a popular trope, but it’s often treatedcarelessly by writers – especially TV/movie writers who rush through thetransition to fit a single movie or episode arc.  There’s nothing worseyou can do in this situation than to rush your arc.  Falling in love isalready a time-consuming plotline – but transitioning from enemies, who arealready shutting each other out, to lovers?  The quicker it happens, theless believable it becomes.

I have a lot of notes on how to write enemies to lovers, sobear with me as I list them out.

Writing Enemies to Lovers: The Basic Ingredients

1. Give them some similar traits.

No matter what, two people can’t fall in love if they don’trelate on some level.  The first step to creating possible love interestsis to find where they’ll connect.  Are they a hero and a villain? Evil and good?  Night and day?  I bet they both love animals. Maybe they’re both way into politics.  Maybe they share a commonenemy.  Maybe they’re both neat freaks or a bit sassy or super gay or lovethe same music.  It can be a few important things or a bunch of superficialthings – just make sure they have something that can tie themtogether.

2. Put them on the same side of something.

When two people are mortal foes, it can be hard for them tosee each other in any other light.  Bringing in a common enemy (ananti-hero, a natural disaster, a person in power), or a common interest (amutual friend, a school play, a moral cause), can land foes on a teamtogether.  This forces them to become aware of each other’s strengths, andto consider (and worry about) each other’s weaknesses.  This is perfectfodder for an eyebrows-raised, “Hey, they don’t suck at this particularthing,” moment.

3. Get them alone.

With other people watching (especiallyfriends/coworkers/allies), little groundwork can be made for your twohate-lovers.  If you get your characters alone together, you’re given abounty of opportunities to bond them, including but not limited to: actualconversations, accidental (or faux-accidental) physical contact, the sneakymoment of checking each other out, etc. etc. etc.  People are differentwhen you get them away from their friends – less extreme, less rowdy, lessunreachable.  If you have to trap your characters in an elevator theold-fashioned way, damn it, you’re the only one who can do it.

4. Let them fight their feelings.

If these two are truly enemies, there isn’t going to be amoment of, “Oh, I like them.  Huh.  Neato.”  Oh, no. There will be internal backlash – they will beat their emotions back with abroom, and deny them to anyone who asks.  There will be extra hatefulglares, more middle fingers, and basically anything they can do to remindthemselves that they don’t like this person.  If you show thisinternal conflict, it both (a) makes the feelings seem real, organic, and (b)creates a more realistic transition from hate to love.

5. Love can sound like hate.

There’s a reason people say indifference is the trueopposite of love.  When your two enemies start to feel things foreach other, this will probably spark a lot of ranting, arguing, anddoor-slamming.  It creates a fixation – you sit there and you stew andyou tell your friends, “Remember when they did thatstupid thing?  Yeah.  Screw them.”  Your friends roll theireyes.  When will you stop talking about this person?  Just kiss themalready.

6. Sexual tension is a powerful tool.

If your characters experience sexual attraction, this is agreat way to accelerate their relationship against their will.  It’s theage-old, “My mind says no but my body says yes,” dilemma.  Yourcharacters can’t stand each other, or the image they have of each other, butthey’re attracted like magnets and can’t shake it.  This can make for somepretty hot – or pretty hilarious – scenes.

7. Give them a moment of horrified realization.

Eventually, the feelings will grow strong enough that one orboth of them will have to sit there, probably on the bathroom floor a littlebit drunk with one sock on, and realize: “I love that f*cker.”  It’llbe a scary moment for them.  It’s not that they haven’t known it – theyjust have yet to accept that it’s something to deal with, until now.  Thiscan be prompted by a dangerous situation, a shared activity, or a failed attemptat another romance – so when they really sit and think about it, theyknow.  Then it becomes a question of either “how do I get rid of this?”or “how do I pursue this?”.

8. Try their hand at flirting.

Whether one or both characters have come to accept theirfeelings, someone’s gotta start flirting.  A glancing touch across thearm; a small comment that could kind of be construed as amicable; a lingeringglance; that first peek at their enemy’s smile.  Something cute and quickand immediately followed by an existential crisis will do in a pinch. Without this water-testing, readers won’t have any image of what thisrelationship will look like – and if it can succeed.

9. Craft the perfect kiss/hug/confession.

When the time is right, create an undeniable display ofattraction to transition into a new phase of their relationship:the “welp-we-both-like-each-other” phase, which comes right beforethe “we-decided-to-(stay-platonic/start-romancin’)” phase.  The BigKiss/Confession is the most iconic climactic love scene, in which the twocharacters take a chance and become vulnerable with each other – and kiss, orsay, “I love you,” or do anything that can’t be construed in any otherway.  Want to extend the drama?  Interrupt them, or have it beone-sided, or let it turn into a fight until they decide, “Forget it, thiswas stupid.”  Readers will swoon.

10. Finish up with an awkward adjustment period.

If and when your characters do enter a relationship, makesure it’s a little tentative at the beginning, to keep it realistic.  Yourcharacters have made a huge shift in their dynamic – there will be somelingering arguments and love-hate, and maybe a bit of discomfort going publicwith their romance.  Then come the usual growing pains of a new relationshipgetting serious – figuring out how to navigate each other’s flaws, learning tobe open with their feelings, dealing with unresolved fights from before theirrelationship.  It won’t be perfect right away.  That’s the beauty of it.

I hope this helps you, love!  I adore love-haterelationships, and I hope you enjoy crafting your own enemies-to-lovers as muchas we’ll all love reading them :)  Good luck!

– Mod Joanna ♥️

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