Everyone's all "i'll fuck your dad" until they realize that means they'd have to fuck someone over 40. and those people are weak.

Glad you liked this one dad-pegger

basically a lot of my problems boil down to me being really bad at waking up. and also really bad at going to sleep

Church of Whale Fall

He’s wet. He’s pathetic. He has brown eyes. He’s close. He’s doing his best, but it’s not great. I didn’t say his name, but you thought of him.

*parks horribly in front of your house* i love you so much

at this point 2 sunny days in a row makes me feel like im on fucking adderall or something

i am a being capable of immeasurable love and whimsy

is a print!!

you should be able to say “fuck if i know” to customers

I’m done w diagnoses there’s nothing wrong w me. I’m just a bit peculiar and eccentric

I have to admit i find myself agreeing with mario sometimes

When he do this. Yes i do this too