The Truth Or A Lie?
Hi, this a Mammon centric fic. I was going to post this on my AO3 acc and into the Mammon Centric Oneshots book I had published, but this is sort of incomplete, but at the same time complete??
Anyways, read the end notes for more details. If you like this, check out my Mammon Centric works on AO3. Nekochinchin is the username I use there.
Welp, enjoy!
There were times when Mammon’s negative emotions overwhelmed him to the point of almost being blinded by said emotion, sometimes Mammon doesn’t want to hold back and keep those emotions hidden as he continues on with his day. He hates himself sometimes, especially the moments when his head starts wishing for things that he knows he will eventually regret if he were to act on it.
He hates thinking about it, but at the same time, when he imagines it, it brings a bit of relief in his chest. It gives him peace thinking if he just abandoned his brothers in the first place, but then again, he can’t. After all, Mammon loves and values his family too much to even do such actions. But when he’s overwhelmed, he can’t help but think about it.
Maybe that’s why he’s wasted and barely functioning with the demonus in his system.
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The sound of a door slamming echoes throughout the walls of the House of Lamentation, the sound practically alerting everyone in the building. It was late, but not late enough that everyone should be sleeping, meaning all of the brothers were just busy lounging around in their prospective rooms. Hearing the ruckus, each demon in the building decided to check it out.
As they leave their rooms, they meet the other brothers and together, they start heading to the front door, where they assume the noise came from. All of them were in their pajamas, but it was clear that none of them were planning to go to bed so early in the evening, except Belphegor.
“What’s up with the noise?” Belphie grumbles out as he rubs his eye sleepily, the male clutching onto his pillow as he sluggishly follows his brothers.
Satan, with furrowed eyebrows replies. “I have no idea.” He says, annoyed that his reading time was interrupted.
As the 5 younger demons of the household went down the flight of stairs, they could faintly smell the strong scent of demonus. The moment they could see the front door of the building, they saw the familiar white fluffy hair and tanned skin of their 2nd eldest brother. They all sighed, already tired of their older brother’s antics every night.
“Ugh. It’s just Mammon.” Asmodeus says with clear distaste, an annoyed huff leaving his lips as he stares at his wasted older brother.
Levi scoffs at his older brother’s wasted form. “Is being a scumbag the only thing you know how to do?” He says with a sneer as he rolls his eyes.
Mammon doesn’t respond to any of them, his ocean eyes stare at his little brothers as he feels his head become fuzzy. With how drunk and wasted he is, he knows he’s going to regret the hangover the following day, but honestly? He doesn’t give a single damn. Being drunk is the only way to numb him from the overwhelming shit he has to feel, and it sure is effective.
The white haired male just sits on the cold floor, his back leaning onto the door, feeling peaceful in his drunk state. It feels like he’s floating and he just wants to stay like this forever, the feeling of being someplace far away as he floats through nothing, is honestly one of the greatest feelings he’s felt.
Satan rubs his temples in annoyance. “Beel, go bring the idiot to his room.” He says, motioning to the drunk demon on the floor.
Beel nods his head and makes his way to Mammon, the orange haired male scoops the older male into his arms and he can hear Mammon giggle when he is being picked up. Beel walks past the other brothers but stops moving when he feels Mammon reaching towards Satan.
The brother looks in confusion to Mammon, wondering what the older male wants from their blond brother. Mammon has a big smile as he looks at Satan that it brings such a warm feeling into their chests, the smile he had on reminded the brothers of when they were younger and when Mammon used to look after them.
Mammon cups Satan’s cheek, his ocean eyes staring right through emerald eyes. Satan is confused yet doesn’t mind the soft touch Mammon has on his cheek, the way Mammon just smiles at him so warmly and with fond eyes, Satan doesn’t really know what to do.
“Ya’ve grown up so much.” The older male says, rubbing Satan’s cheek.
Satan feels his chest bloom with warmth immediately, the way Mammon said it so fondly in his drunk state just makes Satan feel like he was a kid again. He remembers Mammon’s soft smiles and warm touches that he feels like he is reliving that time of his younger years.
“I remember how small ya used to be.” Mammon continues with a smile, and Satan feels his chest become even more warm.
“So fragile.” Mammon says in a soft whisper.
At this point, the brothers assume that Mammon is reminiscing about the past, because of his drunk state. They guess that with the demonus in his system, it’s making him more soft and fond than he usually is, like the Mammon that used to take care of them when they were young. Like a mother.
“I wish I had killed ya the moment Lucifer handed ya to my arms.” Mammon says so softly, like a summer breeze passing through.
The room immediately became cold the moment the sentence left Mammon’s lips. Satan freezes in his spot as he stares at Mammon’s smiling, yet soft face. The fond and happy face on Mammon’s face doesn’t match what had just said.
Satan feels his stomach lurch as Mammon keeps smiling at him and touching his cheek with such care, it almost makes him tremble under the older’s touch. The other brothers watching the scene gape at Mammon with horror, a nasty feeling in their stomach start bubbling up when they hear Mammon say that Satan.
“Ya were so defenseless, nothing to defend yerself with.” Mammon continues, his smile still plastered on.
Satan can feel a chill running down his spine when he feels Mammon running his thumb over his cheek, he didn’t know what to do, he was frozen in his spot as his stomach bubbles up a small amount of anxiety in him. The blond didn’t want to believe what Mammon had previously said, didn’t want to remember what he had said, but it can’t be done, since that sentence had already been engraved in his heart and soul.
“I dunno why I let ya live.” Mammon says softly, placing a soft kiss on Satan’s head.
The brothers feel their stomach drop to what Mammon had said, they were all horrified to what the older demon had said to their technically youngest brother. They were in disbelief that Mammon had said such a thing, it was basically impossible Mammon had even said it in the first place.
The former angels remembered how Mammon looked after Satan with care and love, always protecting the blond when he saw anything threatening to harm the youngest member. It was hard to believe that the Mammon who had raised Satan with such care, is now saying how he wished to have killed the youngest the moment he was in his tanned arms.
Satan can feel his heart wrench when he stares at Mammon’s bright ocean eyes, the blond can feel his heart burn in sorrow and hurt. It hurts, that he can admit. The only person who was willing to raise him was basically telling him how he should have died all those years ago. Exactly what should he do with that information?
How long has Mammon been thinking that? How long has he been regretting the decision of letting Satan live? Was it always there? Or was it just a recent thought? The brothers asked themselves as they were still frozen in shock, unsure on what to say or how to proceed with this.
The rest of the brothers can see the pure hurt and anguish in Satan’s eyes, which was understandable. After all, Mammon was the first person to accept Satan’s presence and the only one who raised him. They were unsure if Mammon wanted to kill Satan during that time or whether it was just a recent development.
As they all stand there in shock with dread bubbling up their stomach, they can hear familiar footsteps coming closer to all of them. They all see the familiar black and dark locks of their eldest brother, his face already set on his usual frown as he stares at all of them.
Lucifer stares at them with a raised brow, wondering why the atmosphere of this room was strained. The eldest wonders why all the 5 youngest of the family have tensed expressions, while the 2nd oldest had a smile on his face and was heavily drunk.
“Someone enlighten me as to what is going on.” Lucifer sternly asks all of them.
The younger demons glances at each other with unsure expressions, not really knowing how to explain what happened just a few minutes prior. Satan stays silent, biting his lips as he tears his gaze away from Mammon and onto the floor, his nails digging into his palms.
Lucifer waits for them to explain, but he sees Mammon jump out of Beelzebub’s arms and starts running towards him. Lucifer feels his torso being tightly hugged by Mammon and he looks down to see ocean blue eyes looking straight at him. Mammon smiles widely at him as he tightens his hug and Lucifer can smell the demonus on his younger brother.
“Lucifer!” Mammon says happily as he laughs brightly. Lucifer can’t help but soften.
The younger brothers look at their two oldest brothers, the dread in their stomach still bubbling and not going away. They can’t tell if Mammon is truly happy to see Lucifer, or his drunk brain is making him all giddy.
Mammon snuggles his face onto Lucifer’s shoulder, feeling comfortable and soft, holding onto his older brother, a smile still plastered on the white haired male’s face. Lucifer can’t help but softly pat Mammon’s back, feeling endeared by Mammon’s cuddly side.
“I wish I stayed with Micheal instead of ya.” Mammon suddenly says as he faces Lucifer with a smile.
Lucifer immediately freezes, the atmosphere of the room becoming more cold and tense. The younger brothers stare at their older brothers’ with cautious expressions, they all know how Lucifer feels about Micheal and how Mammon carried trauma from the archangel.
Mammon smiles as he pats Lucifer on the cheek, a small laugh escaping his lips. “If I hadn’t followed ya, I woulda still be an angel.” He says softly.
Guilt washes over Lucifer. He knows that it was his fault that he dragged his brothers down with him, dragged his precious younger brothers to a place that would taint their purity, transforming them into beings controlled by their sins. That guilt of dragging his younger brothers away from purity and onto corruption will always be embedded into his heart, making sure he doesn’t forget what he’s done.
Reminding him of the failure he had done all those years ago.
Mammon leans his head onto Lucifer’s chest, not noticing the erratic beating of his heart. “Being with Micheal will always be something I loathe.” He says, a soft smile plastered on his face.
“But, staying with ya, Lucifer? It hurts more than what Micheal ever did to me.” Mammon says, his voice soft and warm, as if what he’s saying isn’t ripping Lucifer’s heart to shreds.
The younger demons stare at Mammon with appalled expressions, disbelief running through their heads as they listen to what Mammon had said. They were in shock, not wanting to believe that their brother, the one who hates Micheal more than witches, is saying that Lucifer is worse than he was.
Levi knew bits and pieces about Mammon’s past with Micheal, the indigo haired male knows that Mammon isn’t their actual brother, but Micheal’s. He knows that Mammon was given to Lucifer when Micheal’s abuse towards Mammon was discovered by Simeon, making Mammon part of their family.
The rest of the brothers weren’t created when Mammon was given to Lucifer, but it was inevitable that they were going to question why Mammon was scared of Micheal and how the white haired male looks almost identical to the archangel.
They were briefed slightly about Mammon’s past, but they don’t know the deeper and more detailed parts of the story. The only ones who know what actually happened beyond that, were Mammon and Lucifer.
So, hearing that their older brother who was personally hurt by Micheal, saying that Lucifer hurts him more than what Micheal ever did, was information they didn’t know what to do with. They were speechless.
Mammon faces Lucifer once again, both of his palms are on Lucifer’s cheeks as he smiles brightly at him. Lucifer looks at him with a devastated expression, his eyebrows pinched together as his ruby eyes continue to stare at the beautiful oceanic and sapphire eyes.
The white haired male caresses Lucifer’s cheek with care. “I thought that if I chose ya, I’d be happy. But ya just ruined me instead.” Mammon says with a soft giggle, like a child who just got candy.
“Yer worse than Micheal, Lucifer.” Mammon whispers with happiness, his smile soft and warm, not matching the things he’s saying.
Something lodges itself into Lucifer’s throat, his chest heavy and making it hard to breathe as he continues to gaze into those bright blue eyes. He can feel his tongue becoming heavy as he tries to say something, but it gets stuck in his throat instead.
What was he supposed to say?
Mammon told him that he was worse than the person they both hate and loathe with their entire beings, being compared to Micheal this way isn’t something Lucifer wants to hear or ever want to acknowledge. But he can’t ignore it when it’s Mammon who’s saying it, not when Mammon’s saying it to him so sweetly. Lucifer can feel his throat burn as he realizes that he’s become the exact monster that destroyed Mammon.
Dread bubbles up in Lucifer’s stomach as he imagines Mammon seeing Micheal’s appearance instead of his, seeing Micheal in his features, seeing Micheal when he disciplines him. The thought brings him to a new level of disgust he’s ever felt, his throat closing itself when he swallows.
Desperately, Lucifer clutches one of Mammon’s hands on his cheeks. His ruby eyes staring at sapphire eyes as he tries to force the words out of his mouth.
“I love you, Mammon. I always will.” He chokes out.
Mammon softens at his words, his smile stretching at what Lucifer had said. “Micheal said the same thing after he hurt me. Sayin’ it was for my own good.” He says, sweetly smiling at him.
A piece of Lucifer breaks as Mammon tells him that information.His heart breaking as his brain screams at him for becoming exactly like Micheal, a being worse than anything Lucifer had ever known, a piece of angel shit that Mammon sees in him.
Being told he’s exactly like Micheal is a new low for Lucifer. How many times has he failed his brothers already? How much more is he going to become a failure for his family?
He’s no different than that bastard Micheal. And that just tears him apart.
Mammon lets go of Lucifer and turns away from him, skipping as he makes his way to the stairs, a hum leaving his lips. The brothers watch him move away from them, their forms stiff as they watch the white haired male. Mammon makes it to the stairs and turns to them with a smile.
“I wish I abandoned all of ya. Ya made me more miserable than I ever was.” He says with the biggest smile, as if what he said didn’t smack all of them in the face.
Mammon giggles as he goes up the stairs, leaving his brothers behind when he happily waddles away. Not realizing that he had just ripped their hearts to shreds.
End note: I was actually planning on writing the aftermath of this situation, but got lazy lmao.
So here's what I was planning to put for the aftermath:
Mammon remembers what he did last night and tries to talk abt why he said it. Brothers find out abt Mammon having these negative thoughts, but doesnt mean it, cuz he loves them. He explains that the mistreatment he's getting from them is making him think this way.
The anger and sadness is making him conjure up bad thoughts and make him say shit he doesnt mean, like what he did last night
Blah blah blah, the brothers get their shit together for Mammon and they get their happily ever after ending as a family
