the darkness got a hold on me

funny phrases to use when something goes wrong instead of jokingly saying "i'm going to kms":

feel free to add on

the concept of “plot armor” has done irreparable damage to media analysis and literacy. “oh the only reason this character didn’t die is because they need to be alive later in the story” you don’t fucking say.

me: hmm time to google something

google every time: can i PLEASE have your location PLEASE 🥺🥺🥺 I need to know where you live so BAD 😫😫😫😫 Where do you fucking from?????? 😩😩😩😩😩😩

can't believe that pompeii by bastille is over ten years old now. but I guess if you close your eyes it does almost feel like nothing changed at all

one thing about orpheus and eurydice is you guys are all like “i’m different i wouldnt turn to look at her” because you are all familiar with the story of orpheus and eurydice. but orpheus wasnt familiar with the story because he was in it lol.

“i wouldn’t look back bc logically if she’s not there it wouldnt help to look and if she is there looking back would cause me to lose her” cool so has love never made you stupid and insane

another thing thats interesting is i think most people assume its a walk of reasonably short length that you have to resist looking back. but we dont know how long that walk was. its out of the underworld, time could work very differently. could be days. could be months. could you walk for months without looking back to see if your love is okay? i dont think you could

exactly. like oh you’re not going to look back? have you never lost a love? there is so much looking back.

sorry but there is no romance in bluetooth earbuds. they're very handy and nice but nothing will ever compare to sharing a pair of corded earbuds with someone to listen to music or watch a video and leaning together so the earbuds don't get pulled out. even now when i get handed a bluetooth earbud to share i lean close out of instinct. we need to bring the cords back for the love of god

If I go into one more restaurant and see a qr code menu I'm gonna puke like sorry but nope! No! That's not easier! Menus are already reusuable just give me one! Easy five second interaction. What if my phone is bad at qr codes? What if I'm on a low battery? Paper, paper, paper. A hard copy. Physical objects lets get this bread. Ordering through the app when you're sitting at the restaurant is even worse!!! The boomers are right about this one.

fucking constant reboot remake reboot remake reboot remake reboot remake!!!!!!!!!! the tv has only been around for like a century you literally cannot be out of ideas already

😳 <- this emoji but without the blush or romantic connotation. im not blushing im staring you directly in your fucking eyes

if you excuse the bad editing it would look like this

you have to pretend to be a wizard sometimes, for your health. the obvious method is d&d, but you can also open the dishwasher on cold mornings and raise your arms dramatically as you're enveloped in the steam, or you can find a really good stick to walk around in the woods with, or you can run a bizarrely dedicated rp blog on tumblr. but it's an important component of human well being to occasionally pretend to be a wizard.

It’s so fucked up how tiktok culture has made clout-poisoned people turn the public into content, every day I see people minding their business have their entire faces put online for thousands of likes, a couple kissing on the train, a lady dancing across a cross walk, a guy nodding his head to the music at a club, a lady buying a banana at the store, ring camera footage of the neighbors kids being stupid. Just let people live jfc

we talk about the dangers of needing to be the smartest guy in the room but i think even more deadly is the urge to be the FUNNIEST guy in the room.

it’s 2023 and there’s still one useful app that no one has developed called “Why is there a helicopter here” that when you see a helicopter in the area tells you what they are doing up there