Womb to tomb, sweetheart.

Women want one thing and it's quite obvious, A large affordable interconnected North American Rail Network

imagine you're frolicking in a field, prancing through long grass, singing "falalalala~", occasionally picking a flower. etc, etc. but a guy in the same field is watching you, about 20 paces away. he lowers his opera glasses (which he was using to watch you) and starts clutching his head and screaming with blind rage because of how much you're pissing him off. that's what it's like to be on the internet.

some people are taking "doomed" to mean "dead". this is actually a misconception! you can be doomed even if you don't die! it's sometimes worse if you don't die!

this is going around twitter and i thought it'd be a fun little thing to bond over

in the tags as usual

People who are saying F for coffee or tea are insane there's nothing left in there

With so many elections coming up worldwide it's probably a good time to remind everyone that tumblr once got infested with agents trying to convince everyone not to vote, or not to vote left because the candidates weren't morally pure enough.

Also a reminder that they were better at tumblr than most of us, comrade interloper was great at memeing. Like, the talent!

Anyway don't fall for it. There is no morally pure option.

hey. don’t cry. pit bulls in jackets, okay?

you won’t believe this

How often do you think they talk about this?

Sam definitely brings it up at least once a week.

I'll bet he brings up the steering wheel every now and then, too.

Cindy: Hey… can I be a Jew?

Rabbi: No.

Cindy: Can I be a Jew?

Rabbi: No.

Cindy: Can I be a Jew?

Rabbi: You really want this? Sincerely? Not ‘cause this one’s trying to blackmail me for something stupid when I was 19 or for broccoli with your dinner? What is this for you?

Cindy: Honestly, I think I found my people. I was raised in a church where I was told to believe and pray. And if I was bad, I’d go to hell. And if I was good, I’d go to heaven. And if I’d ask Jesus, he’d forgive me and that was that. And here y’all are sayin’ ain’t no hell. Ain’t sure about heaven. And if you do something wrong, you got to figure it out yourself. And as far as God’s concerned, it’s your job to keep asking questions and to keep learning and to keep arguing. It’s like a verb. It’s like … you do God. And that’s a lot of work, but I think I’m in, as least as far as I can see it. I mean, maybe I’ll learn more and say fuck the whole thing, I mean, but I wanna learn more, and I think I gotta be in it to do that. You know… Does that make sense? Shit, did I just talk myself out of it?

Rabbi: Ask me again.

Cindy: Can I be a Jew?

Rabbi: Yes.

I cried so hard during this scene.

First of all, this is beautiful.

Second of all, as a contextual note, the rabbi said no for a reason. In Jewish conversion, one of the steps is that you must be discouraged at least three times. This comes from the story of Ruth, where Naomi told her not to follow her back to the Jewish tribe three times before giving in.

Third of all, this is beautiful.

[image description: a screenshot of a thread of tweets by Justin “Hoops” Mcelroy @ JustinMcElroy

1: “Found my 5th Grade journal and friends it is a TRIP”. Attached to the tweet is a picture of a journal with cursive handwriting in it.

It reads “May 7. Today is the National Day of Prayer. I prayed at the flagpole for 30 min.

May 13, 1992. Today is the day my dad will be unfrozen out of a block of ice.”

2: “Because it has caused a great deal of discussion: Dad was frozen in a steel coffin inside a massive block of ice. He was raising money for the Ronald McDonald House, people paid to look at him through a hole. He could pee but not poop.”

3: “A weird guy hypnotized him in a hotel room before he did it so he wouldn’t panic. He was not claustrophobic before, but he was EXTREMELY claustrophobic forever after. HE GAVE HIMSELF CLAUSTROPHOBIA. All of this is true.”

4: “He was in there for three days, by the way. Like Ice Jesus”

/end description]

new mcelroy lore

Mass Effect is an RPG series filled with complex moral decisions

Girl are you the Hays Code the way you consider media irredeemable if it depicts anything that strays away from the norm you're comfortable with or depicts anything morally questionable without definitively condemning it and anyone associated with it, therefore creating worse stories and content and making it difficult for people to engage with complicated issues from a nuanced and controlled perspective?

Funniest thing I’ve seen on tiktok are those sigma male boys getting mad that American psycho was written by a gay man and going “well I like fight club better” buddy I’ve got some world ending devastating news for you

Why did this post breach containment 6 months later im planting a Bomb

At least they still have the matrix!

The Bowling for Soup single “1985” was released on July 27th, 2004, which is 19 years ago today, and if you can do some quick math, you’ve already worked out that the year 1985 was 19 years before 2004.

In other words, we’ve officially hit the point where the song “1985” is now as dated as the things it was referencing.

You can have specialists diagnose you and you can have online armchair psychologists diagnose you and then you have whatever's going on when people start tagging your personal posts as #harrydubois