Technically an adult

He had to triple check

Portals to Hell by hrmphfft

IT’S BACK

I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS AGAIN FOR MONTHS

I AM SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW

ITS BACK 

This is one of those posts that you need to save and tag or you’ll never see it again for 84 years.

hey guys look…i found one of those iconic viral Tumblr posts

@the-love-i-crave

For those that aren't in Australia right now, we have the funniest scandal going on.

Firstly let us introduce you to the eye of the storm: Sam Kerr. Sam is a women's soccer player who has in the last year become one of the most famous and beloved athletes in Australia. Captain of the women's national team, Sam became something of a cult figure after the last Women's Soccer World Cup became a complete unpredicted sensation in Australia, with the whole country getting behind the team.

Sam, up until now, has had probably one of the most squeaky clean images in sport. Generally in Australia it is not uncommon for our sports stars to be caught up in scandals involving drugs:

violence:

drinking their own urine:

or if you're cricket legend Shane Warne, probably all three at once.

Contrasting all this, Sam's image as the squeaky clean saviour for sport made it all the more shocking this last week, when it was announced that Kerr was to face trial after having been charged by the UK police of a "racially aggravated offence" involving a taxi driver.

This was shocking news. Nobody knew what to make of it. Sam was a model for young girls everywhere and a national treasure. "This is why we can't have nice things" screamed the nation. It seemed like all hope was lost.

That is, until, yesterday, when the UK police finally revealed the full details of the case, in which Sam Kerr, sporting legend, was arrested for vomiting in a cab, and then telling an intervening police officer that he was a “stupid white bastard”.

Now we probably don't need to point out that in Australia, vomiting in a taxi and then calling a cop a bastard is about as close to a national culture as we have.

You could not have come up with a better headline to make someone a national hero.

Needless to say, Sam in now being hailed down under as the greatest legend that ever lived, and a petition has already been started to have her picture added to the $5 note.

The tide has swung so far that not one, but TWO, state Premiers have spoken out in support of Kerr, and the Prime Minister has even gone on the record describing her as "a delight".

And so ends the racial abuse saga of our greatest sports hero of all time, and the very first reverse milkshake duck to ever exist.

Really, our only complaint, nationally, is that she should've called the cop a cunt.

How remiss of us not to include any pictures of the legend herself

My boyfriend just woke up, mostly still asleep and told me “don’t worry, it’s getting better” in a heavy, American accent, which is unusual for an Australian man.

“Why are you American?” I asked, to which I got:

“Sorry, it’s getting better” in a stereotypical posh English accent.

“Why are you English?” I asked, amused.

“What is he normally?” He managed to ask.

“He? You’re not anyone else, you’re you.”

“Ugh, me” was the last thing he said, in a right proper Aussie accent before he fell back into proper sleep.

Bitch just thwarted a ghost possession by judging his accents

“Don’t wait until the last minute to do your assignments!”

listen. I don’t. But I am always trapped in a vicious cycle.

And the only thing that breaks this cycle is the dread of an imminent deadline

Very ADHD

Cretaceous Characters - Quetzalcoatlus meets a sub-adult triceratops. Just a silly paleoart cartoon thing of mine.

POLYAM POSITIVITY HELL YEAH

Wait are we allowed to use cheating memes to make polyam positivity posts now because if so I’m down to go off

YOU ARE MORE THAN REQUIRED TO

OK I’M GONNA GO AHEAD YALL

I MADE SUM

: D

POLYAM POSITIVITY MEMES ARE MY NEW LIFE SOURCE!

AAAAAHHH

I feel so happy!!!

That last one jdjdjdhd

Go Jim. Sheets are expensive to replace-especially for big beds

yES

Polyam! Positivity!

Amazing

Yessssssss

This could be a freaking entire Jackbox game

I cannot stop

X

That sponge is in distress

It should also be recognised that Lucille Ball helped advance the medium of television as a whole by, more or less, inventing the idea of reruns. This was, in large part, what drove the success of non-serialised shows such as Star Trek, but also paved the way for extremely popular television genres like the sitcom

doctor who missing episodes...

So, I'm gonna do what like fifth billion people have already done and describe each Doctor in my own shitty words:

so happy that doctor who has returned to us i missed this type of vaguely canonical homoeroticism

(i think jack would have a fit if he met 15 in the most gay panic way possible)

((he definitely fucked that magician))

doctor who is so iconic. Yes of course the doctor met his companion while clubbing. Of course they then proceeded to sing a song while escaping goblins. Of course she has a mysterious unexplained past that will no doubt become a major plot point later.

I'm OBSESSED with the Doctor and Ruby singing

Can we have a moment of silence for Sylvia, who now has an Alien living in her backyard, and a moment of triumph for Wilf, who now has an Alien living in his backyard