they should invent a type of sleeping where you wake up and feel rested
occasionally there will be a queer person whose way of living their queerness is in conflict with our expectations and definitions for their label
at those times, we remember that queerness is not about the labels, or the definitions, or the rules of expected behaviour, but about living authentically to the crooked strangeness of our human conditions
this.
every friend group should include a bimbo, a mean bisexual, an even meaner lesbian, she/theys and he/theys, a token straight that’s on thin ice, an astrology bitch who has everyone’s birth chart memorized, and a short king
“You simply cannot fit more America into a single incident than a man dying a horrifying death in protest of war crimes while a first responder screams at cops to stop pointing their guns at him and go get fire extinguishers. If you were to pick a single moment in history to sum up the essence and expression of the US empire, that would be it.”
Caitlin Johnstone, The Most American Thing That Has Ever Happened
I want everyone to look at how The New York Times (paywall-bypass link) covered this event - specifically this sentence:
“I will no longer be complicit in genocide,” a man says in the video, echoing language that opponents of Israel’s military offensive in Gaza have used to describe the war.
Read it. Read it again. Think of all of the ways in which they could have presented his statement. Read it again.
Every single Language Arts teacher should use this sentence to teach students how to read for bias.
In case anyone is curious:
- De-personification - referring to Aaron Bushnell as just "a man" in an article specifically about him and his actions.
- Passive framing - he's not making a statement, he's "echoing" things other people have said, thus decreasing the impact of his statement.
- Referring to people who are against the genocide in Palestine as "opponents", implying that there is an equal conflict between two parties, instead of, you know, a genocide.
- Specifically naming Israel and not Palestine
- Describing the genocide as a war, again implying a conflict and not a colonial state murdering civilians.
Finally, the overall tone of this sentence is one which SPECIFICALLY distances both the reader and the actions of Aaron Bushnell from the genocide in Palestine. "Have used" being past tense instead of present tense especially stands out to me, because it, again, implies something which is not currently occurring, and separates Aaron Bushnell from the category of people who are opposing the genocide in Palestine.
The media is not impartial, not any media, anywhere, ever. The key is to be able to identify any bias and decide what that tells you about the statements contained within.
I often think about that post that was a fake dating profile for a cat that was all about chickens, like wanting someone with posable thumbs for opening chickens.
This is one my favourite things the internet has ever made.
!!!!!!
This remains one of the great art objects of modern times and nobody will convince me otherwise.
it’s sooo funny when rude customers encounter employees who can deny them service for the first time.
i was working at a little cafe where I could deny service over bad behavior, harassment etc. & mask mandates had just ended a week before & already people were being weird about me still wearing mine—an N95, the kind shaped kinda like a duckbill.
so this man walked in, looked at me sooo scathingly, laughed at me, and said “damn. never known a woman to choose…practicality over looks.”
And I just said, “oh. you can go, you’re not getting a drink.” And he said, “what???”
I said, “sir, you just walked in at 6 am & called women impractical and me ugly in one sentence.”
And he was so astonished he didn’t even argue he just turned around and left 💀🙏🏻 it was like he suddenly became self aware
Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety
- If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
- If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
- If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you
- If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you
- People are allowed to be wrong about you
- If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect
- Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it
- The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something
- You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it
- Most things are better after you sleep on them
- Most things are better after you have a meal
- Most things are better after you shower
- Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"
- If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction
- If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction
- "Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier
- If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two
- You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction
- When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery
- People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves
- If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it
- If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable
- If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it
- If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it
- Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step
- Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary
- If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike
- Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP
- No one cares what you look like
- If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"
- People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company
- You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you
- If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly
- You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will
- Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable
- Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it
- Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier
- And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess
my hearing has been aided and holy shit is this how you guys hear all the time
I can hear the birds calling to eachother!! im sat inside my house and I can still hear them!!
my cats purrs are so loud...I never knew how happy he was when I petted him 😭😭
bees have such nice buzzes!!!!!
rustling leaves sound nice. motorbikes do not
I can hear the river running through my village...this world has so many beautiful and amazing sounds
if you rub your hands on a leather sofa. that sounds excellent
gravel sounds fantastic btw. go kick some gravel immediately
CRUNCHY LEAVES
I still can't get over jinx purring. I never knew how happy he was or how much he loves me. he's been purring since I got home, every time I say hi to him. my husband says he's always purring like that, I just never heard it before
thank you @dwiwediblino for suggesting a clicky keyboard. I just tried it out and what a FANTASTIC sound
Have you heard the pitter patter sound of your cats toes yet? Always enjoy that sound
yes!! when we came home and I called him downstairs for some food I heard him leap off the bed I think and his excited patters down the stairs
food in frying pans really do be sizzling...
the sound of old crinkly book pages oh my GOD I have found my new favourite sound
went down to the village river and it was so nice!! the river is pretty low rn because of the lack of rain but when it rains lots I want to go back and see it go fast and hear it
also! hearing the rustle of grass as I walk through it!
and and and i threw a stone into the water and it made a very satisfying splash sound :)
What do you think of this noise?
that's such a funny sound I need to get some sheets of metal and laminate some paper immediately omg
popped my hearing aid on when I woke up and just listened to my husband breathe next to me. he's here, I get to wake up next to my best friend every day. he's alive. he loves me.
then he started snoring very loudly and it was even worse with the amplified sound
you guys can hear the ticking of watches?? they're so loud!!
when you light a cigarette and you hear a faint crackle as the dried leaves catch fire. very good.
I was hanging my washing outside and I shook out a pillowcase to hang it up and it made a very good whoosh sound with a slightly sharp crack!
the crackling sound of a candle wick being lit!! what a fun noise!!
a bird landed on the tree branches above my head and I heard it!! I thought birds were silent but theyre not!!
heard my neighbour come home from his daily bike ride and the bike made a clicking sound??? :0
im outside in my garden with my easel doing some painting and I was drawing on the easel and it makes a scratchy noise?! the pencil was scratching! it makes a very good sound indeed!!
all of you who were suggesting a cold drink over some ice...you were all so right for that
sizzling barbecues!! loud and fun!! different foods make different sizzles
I CAN HEAR THUNDER THERES SO MANY DIFFERENT PITCHES TO IT WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOWOWWOW
IT ACTUALLY RUMBLES!!! JUST LIKE IN THE BOOKS!!!!!!
TIME TO REVIVE THIS POST. I heard lambs the other day and they make really sweet noises. I also went for a walk around a local nature reserve yesterday and heard lots of birds. and I met a dog who said "boof" at me. im still absolutely bowled over by the sound of the sea. in my job I rip up a lot of cardboard boxes and I enjoy the noise.
for humour, here are some sounds that I hate:
- the alarm in work when I set it when I close up at night. awful noise
- the sound of the freezer in the walk in freezer in work. too damn loud!
- the high pitched shriek of toddlers. don't get me wrong im not gonna be cruel but I cant stand it. I have to remove myself from the situation though because it's just so uniquely awful. I get it, its just what kids do, but I don't like it at all
- motorbikes. Still hate em. used to love them until I heard them properly
- the bleeping of self checkout machines, but that might just be because I hate till work so it sets off an anger response in me
- THE SOUND OF VELCRO IS DISGUSTING
- the sound of brushing teeth makes me want to rip my skin off
- how fabric sounds when it rubs against the microphone of my hearing aid because its annoying af
- hate the noise of cling film when you unwrap it. evil
i know we’re both just messing around pretending to be whole but look at me. if the train was coming would you move. if the ground was falling from under your feet would you even notice or would it just be another tuesday for you. if somebody stabbed you could it hurt worse than you already do. what i’m saying is that i love you but i think we both drive over the speed limit when it’s raining. what i’m saying is that i want to hold your hand and i understand about how you sometimes have to sit down in the shower. what i’m saying is that i’m here for you and if the train comes please move.
i wrote this 7 years ago, somehow. every day someone else finds it and whispers to me - oh, i understand this. something always turns in the wash of my stomach: i am so, so glad you feel seen. i wish you had no idea what this post was about.
i wrote this while working in a program for new writers. on wednesdays, two of the teachers would be contractually obligated to read our writing aloud to the group of 300+ teens. i had never read my work in public before. i had something like 6k poems and was panicking about it. none of them are good enough. sometimes the train is howling. it is hard, actually, sometimes, even as an adult.
and then i thought - what is one thing i wish i could tell all of them. each of these 300 kids. what did i need to hear, at 16?
i wanted to tell them about the day you wake up, and the sun feels warm finally. i wanted to tell them about carving a life out of soapstone, your hands turning bloody. i wanted to tell them that sometimes yes - it actually does feel easy. i wanted to tell them about weddings and cookie dough and long road trips. about albums of new music and old friends laughing and the sound of snow falling.
you will learn the pattern of the train. you will learn to close your eyes when you hear the engine rumbling. you will learn to let yourself have the grey days in their lily-soft numbness. sometimes it will feel like life is wet paint, and god has smeared your canvas across a sewer grate. sometimes it will be so boring it isn’t even pronounceable - the tenacious, soundless blankness. survival isn’t just ugly nights and wild mornings. it is also the steady, unimportant moments. it is just driving with your seatbelt on. it is calling a friend on the way home. it is burying your face into the fur of your dog.
when i had finished reading this poem aloud, the auditorium was silent for a solid minute. someone stood up to take a picture of where it had been projected onto a screen, and then three more people followed the action, and then - like a bad internet story, people remembered they were supposed to be clapping. kids came up to me after it - thank you for writing that. i think i hear a train coming.
i would write this differently now, i think, but it has been 7 years. i still live by the tracks. i also haven’t picked up a blade in over 10 years. the scars are still there, but these days i only pick up scissors to cut my hair. i know why you can’t tell your mom about it. i know how the numbness slips over everything, a restless horrible cotton. i know how when you dropped the dish, you weren’t crying about the broken glass. i know about feeling like all the roads have closed their exits, that you aren’t supposed to still-be-here - and yet.
i am still here, and still yours, and i haven’t forgotten. what i’m saying is if any hope is calling to you - i know it’s hard, but you have to listen. i’m saying keep driving, but slow down the car. sit down in the shower, i’m not judging you. we can stay in the dark with the good hot water and do nothing but stare. notice the stab wound. make it through another tuesday.
i know what it is like to miss yourself. do what you need to. come home to me. i am writing to you, my past self, from the future. i’ll be waiting for you.
and when the train is coming - please move.
Evansville Press, Indiana, February 5, 1912
it’s a leap yeap
My nightmare: making a typo that people are still talking about over a century later
Happy leap yeap!
Everybody say a silent prayer for me as I smash the head of baby Jesus clean off this statue in the name of art.
I just cannot for the life of me figure out how to snap this kid's neck without breaking his mom, but giving him a new, cooler head is vital to my vision and it simply gotta go.
So the thing about that is, I gave up and crushed it with a wrench and the shards flew all over the place.
Just like in the Bible.
Massive hater alert from the graven images fandom.
My vision fully realized. 🦌
Mary is trans on purpose! I did this art piece in dedication to the transfem butches in my rural Appalachian hometown who, ironically, taught me everything I know about bein' a man! They were my mothers when I needed a mother and my sisters when I needed a sister and my friends when I needed a friend, and they were the first trans people I ever met as a newly out transmasc in a small town.
It's not meant to be a 1:1 thing where, like, they're Mary and I'm Jesus. That would be nuts. I chose religious imagery because I met them in PFLAG meetings that were held in the basement of this really striking church.
The piece is called "Seeing Spots" and it's about the way the sun would hit the floors of the church filtered through the stained glass. It's about getting your lights knocked out in a bad fight and knowing there's no comfort waiting for you in your own home. It's about the spots on a fresh baby deer, yearning to be a buck. It's about a lot of things, but mostly it's a piece about gratitude and reverence and love.
My own mother, who died when I was thirteen, called me Bambi when I was little, which is why I used deer imagery instead of the traditional lamb!
im not familiar with that movie but ive heard of its homosexuality
i still cannot get it out of my head that a police officer pointed a gun and screamed "get on the ground" repeatedly when faced with a young man burning alive. its been like 12h since i saw the video and it keeps coming back to me. you literally could not ever make this up
if someone wrote this scene as a political metaphor ppl would roll their eyes, as if as if as if. and it just happened. the arm of the state that holds a gun knows nothing but killing even when faced with death itself
the scream i scrumpt