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keep dreaming

@lalalalovely / lalalalovely.tumblr.com

kristen. 26. mtl. pisces sun / aries moon / leo rising i like a whole lot of things.
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cuntylestat

I woke that night to the sound of chaos. Claudia... she was dreaming. Her head, twitching like you would. I can feel her. I can feel her next to me. She's having a nightmare. What's worse than a nightmare? If your soul's projecting out its fears, at least it's up and running. But the absence of anything? The void. The nothing. Pieces... coming back. Hours, nights. Objects surfacing in water.

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There is a part of my head that’s like, ‘So you just watched a woman collapse and you felt nothing. Like, that’s not normal. You should feel…awful? Crippled with guilt? Like… But then I can also hear his voice in my ear. And he’s — he’s saying, ‘No, actually, you made the right call. If you stop riding, then you stop surviving.” And, I mean, I’ve heard him like that for years. Like when Blue Bloods first IPO’d, the first thing I thought was, ‘Oh, my god, Ryan — Ryan would be so proud of me.’ And I don’t really know what to do with that.

Class of ‘07 1.04 | “Soul-Crushing-Cycle”

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