some Captain Swan quotes from this generator which… somehow apparently knows the ship very well

dear tumblr,

I am broke and selling my rare limited edition of the Good Omens script book. $400 for buy it now or starting bid at $200. This is in line with the prices I’ve seen for same edition on ebay and elsewhere + Amazon doesn’t benefit since you’re buying it from me! I’m a librarian and take very good care of my books, let alone the rare ones. Signal boost would be much appreciated. 

xx,

shathereal 

New definition of gritty reboot: the story is exactly the same, but one main character has been replaced by Gritty.

#pride & prejudice (via @mylordshesacactus)

#but who would be gritty?#darcy’s too obvious so that’s out#elizabeth has phenomenal comedic potential#so does lady catherine de bourgh#NO WAIT I’VE GOT IT:#MRS. BENNET

Jane. All the dialogue about how she’s objectively the prettiest and sweetest sister with the most delicate manners and constitution and has trouble expressing her emotions especially when in love remain 100% unchanged.

Meanwhile, Jane “Gritty” Bennet is in the background of the shot in a 100% period-accurate dress, throwing Mr Collins through a window.

Pride and Extreme Prejudice

The responses to this post just keep getting better. 

@lone-gunwoman-of-the-week

Mr. Darcy: You are dancing with the only handsome girl in the room.

Meanwhile:

Mr. Bingley: She is the most beautiful creature I have ever beheld.

Husky getting nervous at his first swimming lesson

I like this WAY more then I should

BIG BABY <3

#the most adorable pirate hero #in all the realms

My second Captain Swan fic that takes the long road via Killian’s character study over two centuries, with gorgeous art by kocuria.

——————————————

find me in the dark

1.

The girl standing at the corner of the tavern can’t be older than ten, wrapped up in a dirty gray cloak that is more holes than fabric. Her face is smudged with dirt and tear tracks, and there is a peculiar red birthmark surrounding one of her eyes. She looks up shyly from under her hood and Killian doesn’t have to look to know that Milah’s heart has just melted.

“Read your future, kind sir? Pretty lady?” the child asks quietly. “Just two copper pieces.”

“Our future, eh? And how would you know anything about that?” Killian teases, but not unkindly. This has been such a good day and his mood is brilliant.

“Oh, my gramma, she’s… she was a seer.” The girl’s mouth is turning down, trembling, but she pushes on bravely. “I have the Eye, I do, sir. I will tell you. Only two coppers.”

He shakes his head, amused, but Milah is already reaching into her pouch, throwing the lass a silver coin. She can never pass a child in need, and that is yet another thing Killian loves about her.

“Tell him, then,” Milah says with a warm smile at the girl. “Will he be the greatest captain of all?”

Read on AO3

Guys.

Seriously.

READ THIS.

Such a clever, creative, beautifully written twist on Killian’s story.

Captain Swan + kissing in the rain, requested by luckyscrunchy. I used the promo pic, and painted over/around it, so it’s half-manip and half-painting.

more manips | fan art | print gallery

Please don’t crop/edit/tweet and please reblog, don’t repost. ;) Thank you! <3

Babe, wake up. New shanty mashup just dropped.

Black cats are lucky. (via leahweissmuller)

MAN [IN THICK ACCENT]: Black cat bring good luck.  Not bad luck.  I have black cat - See, him face - And I am not dead today: Good luck!

“See him face”

I sure fucking do see him face

Him face

Reblog him face for good luck in 2021

for tonight you’re only here to know / part three

(artwork used with permission from carpedzem) part one | part two | part three AO3

A/N:   no beta on this one. we die like real small creatures from alpha centauri.

–

Ivor Novello

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Please enjoy this collection of character ID cards I made for my gf while we watch black sails together

Never Nothing Part ½

After being set up to take the fall for her boyfriend’s crime, Emma Swan is sentenced to community service, where she meets a handsome Brit who changes everything.

Season 1 AU

Read on Ao3

Read my other stuff

Tagging: @courtorderedcake @kmomof4 @stahlop @klynn-stormz @laschatzi @emelizabeth88 @lfh1226-linda @kday426 @elisethewritingbeast @timeless-love-story @captain-emmajones @gingerpolyglot @ebcaver @ilovemesomekillianjones @teamhook @superchocovian @itsfabianadocarmo @tiganasummertree @gingerchangeling @jrob64 @onceratheart18 @xhookswenchx​ @winterbaby89​ @swampmedusa​ @ultraluckycatnd @dancingnancyy​ @love-with-you-i-have-everything​  @shireness-says​ @snowbellewells​ @hollyethecurious​ @ouatpost​ @daxx04​ @the-darkdragonfly​ @donteattheappleshook​ @therooksshiningknight @eeteeaytay​ @xsajx

~~~~

Judge Capshaw took pity on her. She has a soft spot for first-time offenders, especially young women who mess up but want to get their lives on track. At least, that’s what Emma’s public defender told her before they walked into the courtroom, Emma constantly pushing her thick-framed glasses up her nose and trying to make sure her braid wasn’t falling loose. Her lawyer also told her that she should wear her glasses to look astute. 

 The judge said she sees potential in Emma’s ability to thrive in society. Judge Capshaw believes in her, and it’s a strange feeling. 

 She’s sentenced to 80 hours of community service. The argument that she was set up to take the fall for her ex boyfriend’s crime ended up working out, despite her lawyer’s hesitation. In addition to the community service, it’s strongly recommended that she take part in a case management program that can help her get back on her feet. As if she’s ever been on her feet.

 Ingrid, her case manager, finds her a place and is working on getting her a job. The process is faster than she expected, and she’s barely able to think about all that she’s been through as her life quickly swirls around her. Within two weeks of being released from the county jail with only the clothes on her back, she’s sitting in her very own third floor apartment in Mesa, crying on the floor. 

 No one has ever done anything like this for her. No one has ever done anything for her. She isn’t sure why or how her life is turning around, but she knows one thing: Neal Cassidy setting her up was one of the best things that’s ever happened to her. 

~~~~

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Meanwhile, in Spain:

Spring happens and it's not photoshopped!

Actually it's this: a carpet of poplar fluff burns to reveal the grass below at the Parque del Cidacos de Calahorra, Spain.

According to geographyrealm.com:The seed fluff produced by poplars is also highly flammable. The combustible seeds can quickly catch fire and burn off, leaving underlying grass and other vegetation untouched.

Magical

I love the birds singing and the spectators quietly indicating mild concern

for tonight you’re only here to know / part two

(artwork used with permission from carpedzem) part one | part two 

–

It’s the smell of her and the taste of her, the way her hair feels and her breath feels and her skin feels and–it’s gone.

(He’s used used to it, now, the way he dreams of Swan and not of Milah.)

(This is the lie he tells himself.)

“Is this a dream?” Hook whispers, opens his eyes and sees her face–the emeralds of her eyes–swim into a vision that refuses to focus. Waits for the flush of relief that does not–quite–come.

“I’ll pinch you, if that will help you wake up.” Her gaze is concerned even as her tone is light.

Hook laughs. It hurts. “You came back for me,” he says. He cannot keep the wonder from his voice. He doesn’t even try. He feels for a moment as if there is no filter between his brain and his mouth and this simple fact–that Hook cannot recall the last time someone, anyone came back for him–is important for her to realize.

Because it’s never happened.

Except for her, his Milah. And she died for it.

He wants to say more. Tries to.

But he cannot.

Swan smiles. Hook waits for his heart to flutter.

It does not.

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Guys I laughed waaaaaaaaaay harder than I should have.

Okay hi tumblr..,..

What’s up. I have OCD and anxiety, and here on tungl dot com, there is a nice little type of post that makes my blood pressure flip the fuck out every time, and it’s those “if you are reading this [x]” / “reblog and [y] will happen” type reblog memes

You know the ones: money cat, lucky xyz post, that sort of shit. The revival of old school yahoo viral email chains. Even immunity rabbit or whatever – same premise. Anything that says, ‘By reading or reblogging this post, you are activating some specific effect.’

Basically, most people can probably ignore them easily if they don’t like them; but others, especially those with particular psychological conditions (aka, ME) can actually suffer stress responses to posts like this. Obsessive-compulsive, schizophrenic spectrum, anxious, paranoid, magical thinking type disorders especially can see a superstitious post and have it automatically activate an anxious or compulsive reaction, because to the brain, it’s like a new rule/parameter has suddenly been introduced to your environment without warning. Now suddenly, whatever atypical structures frame your brain function have to accommodate for an alien factor. <- I don’t know if any of this really makes sense; it’s hard to articulate in a NT-accessible manner, but hopefully the general gist comes through.

Anyway. So far it’s been basically impossible for me (and therefore, I presume, others as well) to avoid posts like this, because they don’t tend to have any sort of universally recognized term to tag warn for. As a result I’m basically always playing Russian roulette with my dashboard.

A while ago, I asked tweeter followers to vote on the best thing to call these, and most agreed that ‘superstitious posts’ was fitting. So now I’m asking tomblr users to consider making my life and others’ lives easier and less stressful in One Easy Step:

It would... honestly make a big difference if this were standardized and I will be eternally grateful ❤️😪

(Ok & encouraged for ppl to reblog this!!!)

for tonight you’re only here to know / part one

(artwork used with permission from @carpedzem) available on AO3 [½]

happy inaguration day. ❤️

–

In the darkness of the ballroom, the hall lit only by torchlight, her eyes glitter green like emeralds and he remembers: The dark and stormy night with a full posting inn, which was good news for one Captain Killian Jones, sometimes granted the more colorful moniker of Hook after the curved and wickedly sharped prosthetic appendage where his left hand had once been. Hook cared not one whit for the rain except that it was a harbinger of a roaring fire, a full dining room and plenty of easy marks for his dice. Possibly the willing companionship of one of the chambermaids, or the barmaid. A drinking companion at the least, a pretty face, something to look at besides the ruddy visage of his first mate or the quartermaster or the crew looking to spend their spoils on ale and food and women.

What he was not prepared for, or expecting, was her.

(Truth be known, he still isn’t.)

The clouds were so heavy, the rain so constant, that from the front door of the inn the harbor and the masts of the Jolly Roger were invisible. Hook would send the crew back to the ship in good time, but he was determined to have one of the inn’s rooms for himself.

Alas that his path to the bar was blocked. She was between him and it, her hair dark and braided back into a messy queue. His only view of her was from behind–Hook was not complaining–her leathers blue and well-worn–a belt at her waist with a scabbard for a knife long enough to be every bit as deadly as his hook. With a cry and a lunge she turned and Hook saw, clearly, that she had the weapon in hand and was quite familiar with its proper use. With her other hand she had twisted the arm of someone–undoubtedly an unlucky fool who had dared to lay hands upon her–high up and behind his back as the tip of the blade just kissed the fleshy jowl under his chin.

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