It's a lot healthier to go for a daily walk than to sign up for a gym membership you won't be using because you hate that kind of exercise. It's a lot healthier to eat a frozen meal than to skip a meal because you were too tired to cook something healthy. It's a lot healthier to take a quick shower than to procrastinate an elaborate routine for days. Don't aim so high that you won't be hitting anything!
this is actually really helpful and affirming thanks
literally nothing funnier than a newly born aquatic mammal realizing they've been cursed to live in water
Wet beast
Neil!!!
Yes geologists! Doing the important work 💖
Credit to: The Sedgwick Museum of Earth Sciences
It's time
leitmotifs never get old to me like holy shit dude there’s this melody that corresponds to this one guy and if you hear the melody it means the guy is there. holy shit. and sometimes it refers to ideas too not just guys. has anyone heard about this
Sometimes something fucked up happens to the guy and their melody gets fucked up too. Sometimes the thing that fucked them up also has its own melody and when the first melody gets fucked up the second melody gets mixed in
no fucking way dude. are you serious
unfortunately no eclipse photography can ever outdo the waffle house one from 2017
I had a dream I was trying to explain to someone from The Future that wearing a swimsuit wasn’t the same thing as being a furry. “It’s crazy how you go to the pool and there are all these people just pretending to be fish,” he said. I had no defense. Society had changed in the future and they had different standards for what made one a furry
This kitty looks so mad
CLAWMYDIA?????
I started using Head and Shoulders ten years ago for itchy scalp and dandruff, and then for ten years I have not had itchy scalp and dandruff, so I thought “why do I still buy shampoo to combat itchy scalp and dandruff when I do not have itchy scalp and dandruff,” so I stopped buying the shampoo for itchy scalp and dandruff and can you guess I have now? Can you predict what currently afflicts me? It’s alright if you can’t because apparently I fuckin couldn’t either
Cutting something out of your life because you think you don’t need it any more only to realize that it was in fact working as intended and preventing a problem that will return should you stop doing this is a good experiment to run periodically with something small like dandruff shampoo, lest you start to think it would be a good idea to do this with like let’s say public health and the social safety net and vaccines
I had a liver transplant when I was 14 and like six months later I was chatting with my surgeon and he said “there’s gonna come a time, probably when you’re a teenager, where you’re gonna think, ‘I feel great, why am I still taking all this medication? I haven’t needed it in years.’ and you’re gonna want to stop taking all this medication. Guess what’s gonna happen then? You’re gonna go into rejection and your liver is gonna start failing, and you’re gonna be dying again, and we’re gonna have to find you another liver. So don’t do that.” And I said “why the fuck would anyone do that?” and he said “people are stupid.”
every once in a while when I get annoyed by a pharmacy or don’t wanna get out of bed to do my drugs I think “ugh, this is dumb, why do I do this?” and that conversation slams into me like a truck and I remember that I am, in fact, stupid
HELP i think i just found the funniest thing ever
average hobby for an upstairs neighbour
“I would buy a mansion” “I would buy designer” “I’m getting a pool” Don’t give me that lame ass if I won the lottery shit. You’re all pathetic. If I came into a significant amount of money, you know what I’d do? I’d go to the Ren Faire, B-line straight to the cloaks. I’m talking floor length, heavy, wool, felted details, huge hooded cloaks that are like 450 a piece and all handmade and I’d get me one. Maybe even get one of the smaller ones that hangs off the shoulders and lands just above the elbow that are 90 by themselves. And I’d be the baddest bitch around because I’d wear that shit everywhere. It’s 115 degrees? I’m sorry do I look like I give a fuck? I have a cloak bitch I don’t need your fahrenheit bullshit. And you’re a FOOL if you wouldn’t do the same.
i know you guys are all super into reclaiming slurs and stuff, but you can’t just go around calling random people faggots.
i’ve straight up seen lgbt people call other lgbt people faggots as an insult because they had an opinion they disagreed with. do you. like. hear yourself
you’re not cool and revolutionary, you’re just an asshole
thank fucking god I'm not 14 anymore
hey if you are 14-17 It does get better you are just in your caterpillar goop era
“but what about separating the art from the artist” buddy. listen to me. joanne kathleen rowling is relevant for one reason and one reason only—she wrote harry potter. that’s why she’s famous. that is the bedrock of her fucking platform. jk rowling is the harry potter lady and harry potter is the jk rowling guy. this is not the same thing as listening to a song on repeat even though the keyboardist was an asshole, or reading a novel by some dude who sucked ideological shit in the 1800s. jk rowling has a hate platform right now, today, and she sustains it off of harry potter bucks. u will forgive me if i am unwilling to advertise for her
Hamas just released its proposal for a permanent ceasefire. Israel has dismissed all of their proposals as “unrealistic” — and that has been echoed across the U.S. corporate media.
Here are the actual proposals from each side.
fucking hate how cats think they can mrrp their way out of anything because yeah, they fucking can.
