Lillies~

Aizen’s Alt-Facts

Alt-FACT: @uraharasuggestions is a moron.

Kisuke’s super-alt-facts: Aizen-san has never felt love.

I agree with both.

me too!

@uraharasuggestions… you do know how alt-facts work, do you not?

Key word: SUPER. They’re so alternative they actually come a full circle.

Ah, I see.  

An ingenious use of the superlative, @uraharasuggestions. I should have expected as much from you.

Even so, your insult is weak and based on a misconception that love is something I valued to begin with. 

The First Division Super-Duper-Official-Alt-Facts: Sousuke-kun is, in fact, in love with the sound of his own voice.

Again, I fail to see how this is an insult or an alternative to any fact.

Of course, I am.

Have you HEARD my voice?

Not everything must be an insult, Sousuke-kun, y’know? I do rather think that @uraharasuggestions has some “chill pills” that he might be willing to sell to you.

#I could listen to myself talk all day #After all it’s one of the few ways in which I am guaranteed intelligent conversation

…does that actually constitute conversation, though? Or is it alt-conversation now?

I would be very interested in these pills of @uraharasuggestions‘.  Are they the ones that you all were passing around recently that transformed several of you into Hollows?  

I’ll take several packets, thank you very much. 

(Although why everyone seems to think that when *I* turn someone into a Hollow it’s bad, and  yet they happily gulp down Urahara’s pills, I’ll never know.)

Aizen-san... Have- have you never heard the phrase "take a chill pill" before?

That's- that's honestly just quite sad.

Aizen’s Alt-Facts

Alt-FACT: @uraharasuggestions is a moron.

Kisuke’s super-alt-facts: Aizen-san has never felt love.

I agree with both.

me too!

@uraharasuggestions… you do know how alt-facts work, do you not?

Key word: SUPER. They’re so alternative they actually come a full circle.

Ah, I see.  

An ingenious use of the superlative, @uraharasuggestions. I should have expected as much from you.

Even so, your insult is weak and based on a misconception that love is something I valued to begin with. 

The First Division Super-Duper-Official-Alt-Facts: Sousuke-kun is, in fact, in love with the sound of his own voice.

Again, I fail to see how this is an insult or an alternative to any fact.

Of course, I am.

Have you HEARD my voice?

Not everything must be an insult, Sousuke-kun, y’know? I do rather think that @uraharasuggestions has some “chill pills” that he might be willing to sell to you.

#I could listen to myself talk all day #After all it’s one of the few ways in which I am guaranteed intelligent conversation

…does that actually constitute conversation, though? Or is it alt-conversation now?

Aizen’s Alt-Facts

Alt-FACT: @uraharasuggestions is a moron.

Kisuke’s super-alt-facts: Aizen-san has never felt love.

I agree with both.

me too!

@uraharasuggestions… you do know how alt-facts work, do you not?

Key word: SUPER. They're so alternative they actually come a full circle.

Baking bread. Alas, Yoruichi-dono became somewhat impatient. Accidents happen. @yoruichisuggestions

……………

……..

next time I see a picture of myself on http://unflatteringcatselfies.tumblr.com  both you and @uraharasuggestions are going to regret it (I know it’s you two losers who are running that blog!!!) 

*whispers* @tessaisuggestions it's time for a URL change...

C O N F E T T I     E V E R Y W H E R E      ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧.・゜       ゜゜・．｡･ﾟﾟ･　　･ﾟﾟ･｡    *＊✿❀　❀✿＊**:..｡o○　　    ○o｡..:*ﾟ+*` “*　　*"’’*+ﾟ☆○o。　　    。o○☆*+:｡.｡　　｡.｡:+*.｡ *ﾟ+.*.｡　　　ﾟ+..｡*ﾟ+☆.｡.:*　　.｡.      :*☆｡･:*:･ﾟ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆　　 ｡･:*:･ﾟ   ★,｡･:*:･ﾟ☆*･ﾟﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*ﾟ:     *:✼✿　　✿✼:*ﾟ:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟﾟ･*

Aizen’s Alt-Facts

Alt-FACT: @uraharasuggestions is a moron.

Kisuke's super-alt-facts: Aizen-san has never felt love.

Happy Birthday, @uraharasuggestions​! Get rekt

I guess 2016 sucked in a lot of ways, but hey, we’re still here, still kicking. I suck at this, I know… I’m sorry. And I’m still younger than you.  FOREVER.  And don’t you forget it.

Here’s to a fun 2017!

…I love you.

(source)

As the clock has just turned midnight, it is my turn to wish you a very happy birthday as well, Yoruichi-san. YORUICHI I LOVE YOU TOO *tearing up* !! I look forward to @yushirosuggestions ’ party with great anticipation~

…sap <3

I look forward to @yushirosuggestions ’ party with great anticipation~

Omg, no-one tell him we can’t find Ninja-Pirate.

Yyyyesssss, it’s a blast so far, isn’t it? ^^;;;;

Completely! I don't believe I've ever eaten so much cake~ I suppose we have @orihimesuggestions to thank for that aha... I have to say the marzipan cat sculpture made in your likeness is my personal highlight!<p> Speaking of cats- has anyone seen Ninja-Pirate?

In light of the recent turning of the year, I would like to take the opportunity to advertise a brand new product from the Urahara Shoten:

The 2016-bad-memory-remover !

Want the opportunity to forget the indescribably awful events of the past year, in doses ranging from 10 minutes to 24 hours? Then this is the product for you !

Prices ranging from $1-$200 (.

My suggestion is that you buy while stocks last~

What would be the hypothetical price for removing selective memories of the entire year? Some stuff has been quite good but the majority just appalling….

Well… For /that/ I suppose I could- I MEAN UM… I couldn’t possibly sell this potion in amounts that could hurt the consumers… That would sully my reputation as a worthy shopkeeper!!

meet me in the back room in 15 minutes… I believe we may be able to come to an agreement…

Oh no, of course I only meant this hypothetically! As I understand all some of your inventions can be rather dangerous good thing I don’t particularly mind if I die so my interest in this is purely theoretical 

Give me 20 and I’ll bring some friemds with me and the payment shoudn’t be a problem

20 what? Days? Weeks? It’s yours for the right price (.

Ah yes, of course. Purely hypothetical.

I’m coming out of my “I’m alive but unsure what I’m actually doing with my life” exile to wish a stupid birthday to the second worst captain* I’ve ever known, @uraharasuggestions. 

*Dumb baldy Shinji is the worst. HAHAHAHA.

*crying, softly* Hiyori-san... This drawing means so much to me... I'm going to pin it up on the wall of my shop (.

In light of the recent turning of the year, I would like to take the opportunity to advertise a brand new product from the Urahara Shoten:

The 2016-bad-memory-remover !

Want the opportunity to forget the indescribably awful events of the past year, in doses ranging from 10 minutes to 24 hours? Then this is the product for you !

Prices ranging from $1-$200 (.

My suggestion is that you buy while stocks last~

What would be the hypothetical price for removing selective memories of the entire year? Some stuff has been quite good but the majority just appalling….

Well... For /that/ I suppose I could- I MEAN UM... I couldn't possibly sell this potion in amounts that could hurt the consumers... That would sully my reputation as a worthy shopkeeper!!

meet me in the back room in 15 minutes... I believe we may be able to come to an agreement...