my heart has wings

by euphemia.stokefield

to be honest there has never been a fictional character i’ve actually wanted to date. like. i want them to date each other. i don’t want myself as a person to be involved in this scenario whatsoever. what would i add to this narratively? what’s my thematic purpose in the narrative? immersion breaking. 

#im the director bitch not the actor

don’t hide this in the tags that’s exactly it

it is both tragic and freeing to accept that your mother is not capable of being the mother you always needed her to be

Ice Evil

These mortal Kombat fatalities are getting weirder

Is this 3D animated because it’s very trippy looking

jupiter ascending

i respect the sheer level of gay dramatic aesthetic these three villains are giving off

we’re like ten minutes in and i’ve understood…. absolutely nothing. just shit all. i’m having a great time tho. fiance has been put in control of changing the volume according on how loud the music is in any given scene 

heard my friend say ‘i changed my mind, this film is amazing now’ and i looked up, expecting something good, and it was just a fucking dragon man. don’t befriend furries 

WAS THAT A FUCKING ALIEN ABDUCTION???????/

WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

what the fuck. a bat lady is here with an orgy in a pleasure chamber. mila kunis just got levitated in midair for a murder attempts. i feel like i’m twelve years old and ill and rapidly switching between three channels while feverish 

actually every woman’s fantasy is, in fact, that you’re donating your eggs for telescope money but then you levitate into the air and the aliens you saw while your hot friend was undressing genetically test you and try to murder you, but then channing tatum bursts through a wall and kills every alien and scoops you into your arms and puts you on his ship

whenever i get up to stir my spaghetti i miss about four movies worth of plot. there’s a spaceship chase scene where one of the participants is chihuahua tatum on magic heelies with mila kunis on his back. about four million shots have been fired but zero have hit. this is outstandingly good

I GOT UP TO STIR MY PASTA AND I CAME BACK AND THEY INFORMED ME SHE IS HOLDING A SANITARY TOWEL TO HIS GAPING WOUND

HELLO??????????????//

SEAN BEE IS HERE!

i don’t know why we just got slow-mo shot of his face, but we did 

sean bean and channing tatum are having a fistfight while his daughter just hangs out

i have no idea what’s happening but i stan

“She’s a… beemancer?” 

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“WHAT THE FUCK”

“SHE’S THE FUCKING QUEEN BEE????”

“THE SANITARY TOWEL IS STILL THERE”

“FUCK”

this film is outstandingly good. god. i’m so delighted.

bees are genetically designed to sense loyalty. they don’t lie. they-

my friend, unhappily: they can only count to five, shaun

of course he’s called caine. of course. they can’t decide how much he’s human and how much he’s a dog. ‘they wanted him put down’? he BIT someone???? how far does this go? does he need a flea collar? is he neutered? 

god this film is so fucking weird and i love it. i’m in love with it. channing tatum is rollerblading shirtless and this is the first BMT movie to pass bechdel. this is female wish fulfillment and i love it 

naked men, naked women, big explosions, bad science? truly excellent. we’re in church devoted to genes and my fiance is demanding i find out whether or not richard dawkins has seen this film 

MY BOWELS ARE ANYTHING BUT ROYAL

also

channing tatum: i murdered a person 

her: why do guys only like bitches who treat them like shit

she’s known channing tatum like thirty minutes and she’s SO thirsty. i respect this. normally in films there’s like, lingering touches, eye contact etc, but she just straight up was like ‘PLEASE fuck me’. 

also when i was trying to guess in which context ‘i love dogs, i’ve always loved dogs’ would appear, i would not have guessed that. i would never have guessed that. 

i’d like to go on record as saying that:

a) this bureaucracy montage is very, very good

b) that is the single most homosexual robot i have ever seen

this film is SO fucking horny. so unspeakably horny. she straight up looked him in the eye and was like ‘call me ‘my majesty’ again’. you really making it this fucking clear that mila kunis is a top? fifty shades of grey WISHES it had what this film has

this is, again, the specific female fantasy. channing tatum rescues you fro an unpleasant medical procedure, flies you around the city on his magic hovershoes, takes you to meet sean bean who reveals you are the ruler of all bees, reveals you are in fact the queen of the entire earth, gives you a royal document and then looks you in the eyes and does the equivalent of saying ‘daddy’. you get to wear like four different fancy dresses and then a new hot guy proposes to you over dinner. you’re somehow able to read and understand complex legal documents easily and you get to spit out stature to dunk on a random thottie. nothing makes anything sense but honestly, what in life does? when i die i hope i end up in this movie

later on your father figure beats up your shitty cousin with a pillow while yelling ‘you don’t treat your cousin like chicken!’? this film has single handedly disproved the entirety of transphobia. the wachowskis made this film and there can be no doubt these fabulous bitches are women

never before have i thought a single film should have been a trilogy, but things that should take like forty minutes happen in about thirty seconds in this movie. she’s currently getting married to that random hot guy in front of millions of people somehow. channing tatum got blasted into space and then got rescued with absolutely no dramatic tension or fanfare. fiance just described this as the epitome of the subreddit ‘awful taste but great execution’. friend described this as ‘just a bunch of shapes on a screen’. other friend is just staring, speechless. i’m living my best life

man he really gave up on the pretense IMMEDIATELY. 

‘he told me he was going to kill you’

the main guy: that’s true. i was. you’re a bimbo and i’m hotter than you. 

anyway now jupiter is having an emo moment in the corner of her spaceship as if channing terrier didn’t essentially break up a wedding by yelling ‘I OBJECT!’ at the last minute, thus fulfilling any reasonable person’s hopes and dreams 

the main villain is SO overdramatic. i absolutely cannot handle this. I CREATE LIFE!!!!!!!!! i can’t tell if i’m too drunk or not drunk enough for this movie

nobody is appreciating this film enough except for me. everything is very good here except the elephant-man splice. that is very very bad actually.

that was the single horniest thing i’ve ever seen in my life. i lost at least four IQ points and gained at least a 40% increase in serotonin. god bless us, everyone.

the morning after, i can only apologise for all the types and misspellings (’stature’ instead of ‘statute’ being my least favourite). i was pretty sober but i feel like the film just permanently changed some things in my brain

Maxine Vee on Instagram

My hobbies include reading, writing and doing neither of those things

Maxine Vee on Instagram

I cannot explain how much I want to live in a Jane Austen novel. Surely in some alternate universe I am an intelligent, witty heroine with a delicate beauty, living in regency England, who attracts the eye of a wealthy acquaintance and eventually falls in love after a whirlwind of handwritten letters and professions of love.

Exactly!! I just watched Northanger Abbey and was reminded of how much I'd love it if we could bring back the dances with the candles and choreography....

if you give me a task with no deadline i will literally never do it but if you give me a deadline i will get it done exactly 1 hour before the deadline even if the deadline is in six years

#this is ADHD#or possibly another executive function disorder but ADHD is the only one I really know about#the reason for this is an ADHD brain does not have an internal feedback system#ADHD brains require external input to make up for missing executive functions#like the ability to process multi-step tasks with delayed consequences#because to an ADHD brain#things don’t exist in the absence of consequences#meaning#people with ADHD are drawn to things like video games because the feedback is external and immediate#every action you take has an immediate effect on the game environment#and you can SEE that your actions are providing xp or moving a task towards completion#but for something like homework#the consequences of that homework being done do not exist until that homework must be turned in#and it’s either done or not done at that point#which is why people with ADHD function best closest to deadlines#the consequences of that work being done must be IMMEDIATE to compel the brain to see it as a task that requires completion#because the further out a task is from the consequences of it being done#the more an ADHD brain is incapable of acknowledging it#TASKS DO NOT EXIST TO YOU UNLESS THERE IS IMMEDIATE EXTERNAL FEEDBACK#THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST PROBLEMS WITH ADHD BECAUSE TO OTHER PEOPLE IT DOES LOOK LIKE LAZINESS#BUT A LAZY PERSON JUST WOULDN’T DO THE TASK AT ALL#AND ADHD PERSON STRESSES THEMSELVES HALF TO DEATH TO GET THINGS DONE#BUT ISN’T CAPABLE OF STARTING THEM EARLIER TO PREVENT THE STRESS#BECAUSE THE TASK DOES NOT EXIST UNTIL IT NEEDS TO BE EITHER DONE OR NOT DONE#IT’S KIND OF LIKE SCHRODINGER’S BOX#THE TASK DOESN’T HAVE TO BE DONE OR NOT DONE UNTIL THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR ITS STATE OF COMPLETION#so what LOOKS like laziness to other people#is actually a VERY SERIOUS FAILURE of the brain’s executive function system#which is a VERY serious medical problem#the name ‘Attention Deficit Disorder’ really fails to sell how serious the disorder actually is via @thecuckoohaslanded

god dammit my tags got cut off AGAIN I’m hitting the tag limit on like every post lately, I really need to work on that

Anyway I went on to say that there are 5 major executive functions of the human brain.  These are the ‘higher functions’ that really distinguish between a human brain and that of any other animal.  We have added intelligence on top of that, but these are the functional abilities our brains have that the rest of the animal kingdom does not have on a a structural level.  There are 5 of them.  ADHD affects all 5.  And none of them are actually ‘attention’ (the closest function to anything that can reasonably be called ‘attention’ is what’s called Working Memory, which is your brain’s ability to hold a specific task in mind to come back to it; distractions are inevitable, but a healthy brain will hear a phone ring, look up, and remember to go back to what it was doing before.  An ADHD brain will hear the phone riBANG ALL MEMORY OF THE CURRENT TASK IS GONE.  ADHD brain looks up, sees the name on the caller id, oh it’s an unknown number, oh it’s probably some political pollster, oh man this year’s election is just awful I can’t believe people are supporting that angry cheeto. Oh cheetos I’m hungry I should go make a snack.  What kind of snacks do we have?  Did I remember to buy cereal at the store the other day?  What about dog food?  Oh my god I forgot to let the dog back in the house this is why I should have gotten a cat.  Oh my friend sent me a great cat video earlier I should watch that.  AND GUESS WHAT YOU NEVER GO BACK TO WHAT YOU WERE DOING BECAUSE THE STRUCTURE IN YOUR BRAIN THAT SUPPORTS RETURNING TO A PARTIALLY COMPETED TASK DOES NOT EXIST THE WAY IT DOES FOR A NORMAL HEALTHY BRAIN.  This is why even if you start a task well before a deadline you can’t keep to it until it’s been completed; the consequences of it being done MUST be more compelling than everything else in the immediate environment for the brain to see it.  No matter how much time you give yourself to complete the task, if you have ADHD it will take you 100% of that time, every time, which is why having ADHD actually TEACHES YOU to put things off, because it’s the only way to shorten the total time actually spent completing the task – the disorder rewards you for self-destructive behavior because it’s the only way you can get things done at all, and you end up living in a permanent state of extreme stress, hopping from one emergency deadline to the next even though you hate yourself for it every single time).  The disorder has been horribly named in a way that trivializes just how serious and life-ruining it actually is.

ADHD is a very, very serious disorder and the pop psych/common understanding of it makes it seem HORRIBLY trivial compared to the real damage it actually does to people’s lives.

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…ohhh…

This is both fascinating and… possibly slightly alarming.

@birbhubby this is really interesting reading.

I’m reblogging this again with a couple of book recs because I’m seeing a lot of people having lightbulb moments on my dash. 

You Mean I’m Not Lazy, Crazy, or Stupid? - One of the oldest books on ADHD/ADD in adults and a classic.

Driven to Distraction - Another classic and a great place to start.

Make sure you pick up the latest editions since our understanding of ADHD/ADD has changed a lot since those were first published.

If anyone needs further books recs or help finding specific resources, feel free to IM me or send me an ask. I’m not totally up to date on current stuff, but I’ve had my diagnoses for almost 30 years and totally count as experienced old fart now. XD

Oh….

Oh :C

I can vouch for both of the books mentioned

Pinging @actuallyadhd because I don’t know if they’ve reblogged this thread.

No, we hadn’t; thank you!

Both of those books are on our Reading List — check it out for more suggestions if you want to read more about ADHD!

-J