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Jewish Headcanons

@allyourfavesarejewish / allyourfavesarejewish.tumblr.com

gif by plinys
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Today, my 84 year old neighbour said to me, “I quite like mushrooms. They have a good outlook on life.” She then admitted she felt a bit silly to have said that and suggested not many people would understand what she meant.

Please reblog for Ann so I can show her how many people appreciate her wholesome perspective on mushies.

Wow! Thank you so much for all your kind validation of Ann and her mushrooms! Ann and I are completely blown away by the response to this post. She doesn’t have a computer, so I printed off a selection of your messages for her to read. Needless to say, she was more than a little surprised.

Ann is doing well and still enjoying her positive mushrooms. I visited her yesterday and we shared a bit of disgruntled pizza. She keeps telling me how amazed she is by all of you. Your messages are now in an envelope which Ann keeps in a special place so she can look at them whenever she likes.

Thanks for helping me show Ann that her unique thoughts and perspectives are valuable and treasured.

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eryaforsthye

Mushrooms are excellent. Good on Ann!

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traincat
Anonymous asked:

can you make a post about peter parker being jewish. i’ve already seen people trying to argue that it’s just a headcanon with no basis, and they’re even trying to say that into the spider-verse wasn’t trying to portray peter as a jewish man. you’re just so good at making organized and well-informed posts, and i know that you know peter is and always has been meant to be a jewish man even if certain writers over the years didn’t think it should be canon.

I can absolutely do that, and thank you for thinking I am in any way organized instead of just from a family that knows how to argue. (A little Jewish joke courtesy of Spider-Ham’s John Mulaney to start us off right.)

So I’ve talked before about how Peter Parker is clearly Jewish even if we have yet to directly address that within the page of an actual Marvel comic – Star of David shaped confetti raining down, a neon sign blinking PETER PARKER IS JEWISH, and taped footage of his bris, since sometimes it seems like that’s what it would take to convince people, and even then you know there’d be people saying it didn’t count. I can re-address everything I’ve gone into in that post and others: Stan Lee’s own Jewish background, the fact that Peter Parker’s childhood home in set in Forest Hills, Queens, a famously Jewish neighborhood, the concept of wit as a weapon, the character’s own values and moral code. The fast talk, the Yiddish, him namedropping Jewish holidays from Hanukkah to Shavuot (or as he, like the nice Jewish boy from Queens he is, says, “Shavuos.”). We can get into Spider-Man as the embodiment of New York City, and the inherent subtext of that. I can pull up Andrew Garfield’s interview, where he states that he’s Jewish on his father’s side and recognized the Jewishness in Peter Parker and used that in his performance. I can and have and will again at some point pull specific panels and point out things, both little and big. I can pull up Brian Michael Bendis saying that every Peter Parker is Jewish.

However, let’s shove all of that aside for the moment and focus specifically on Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse and how any assertion that the film didn’t specifically and purposefully portray a Jewish Peter Parker is either ignorant of Jewish custom, pedantic nitpicking that tramples representation, or spiteful anti-semitic trolling. I’m going to explain why in two points.

First, the actual movie. Spoilers from this point on, obviously, although I’m talking about a half second’s worth of footage. At about the half hour mark, as Peter B. Parker’s life story is rolling by and as he says he got married, we see his foot crush a glass wrapped in a white napkin. It’s a split-second blink and you’ll miss it scene, and it rocked my entire world. The groom breaking the glass is an important Jewish wedding custom that takes place at the end of the ceremony. This scene isn’t in there by accident (in a film as intricate and dense as Into the Spider-Verse, I’d argue that very little could be) – no one slipped this in last moment. This was a planned and very well constructed statement about this specific Peter’s identity. That it made it into the final product at all blows my mind and I am so incredibly thankful to everyone who made sure it did. I think it’s beautiful and amazing that in the movie that marked Miles Morales’ debut in cinema, Spider-Verse also took the time to make a statement about Peter Parker’s Jewish identity – neither of the main Spider-Men in the movie are white Christian men. (And Spider-Man Noir likes fighting nazis. A lot.) In a year like 2018, with a rise in antisemitic attacks, that’s incredible. It made me cry. 

“Couldn’t Mary Jane be Jewish and that’s why Peter stepped on the glass?” some people might try to argue, perhaps in good faith but most likely just to be pedantic and nitpicky. And like, sure. Yeah, that could be a possibility. (It could also be a possibility that they’re both Jewish. You can have more than one.) Either way, this specific Peter Parker had a Jewish wedding, and while Mary Jane’s presence plays an important role in the film, she herself (and specifically this Peter’s her) has very limited screentime. Those intros were meant to tell us things about the characters they were introducing: Peter was the subject. He was the narrator. This was an important image of the wedding to him. Again, this scene wasn’t accidental: Spider-Verse was telling us that this specific Peter, at the very least, is Jewish. It’s a clear, direct tribute to Peter Parker, to the Jewish roots of superheroes, to Stan Lee and all the other Jewish creators who created the foundation for superhero comics as we know them, and to what a down to Earth hero born out of New York culture, who comes from Queens, might really be. 

Reason the second: there is actual taped interview footage of Phil Lord saying the words “he’s a Jewish kid from Queens.” Rodney Rothman, the scene’s director, also addressed basically everything I just said up there in this interview, joking about his own insistence that Peter Parker is Jewish. And yes, of course, you could nitpick, you could come up with all the excuses why it could not count, why it could mean something else, but at the end of the day it’s clear that the intention of these creators was to get a Jewish Peter Parker onto the big screen. The intention was for you to see him step on the glass and for it to click with you, oh hey, Spider-Man’s Jewish! And for people who are bothered by that, who feel the need to nitpick, so say “well, actually,” to insist that Peter Parker isn’t Jewish because blah blah blah – why? Why not embrace this added piece of diversity to a movie that was in part a love letter to New York, and to the parts of it and the marginalized cultures Peter and Miles both represent within the film? The notion of a Jewish Peter Parker should do nothing but delight and inspire. 

I don’t know the current state of what the contracts in place over portrayals of Peter Parker look like. I’m sure some of us remember Sony’s infamous contract that stated Peter Parker could never be portrayed as anything other than white, Christian, and heterosexual and have no idea if its existence could have impacted Spider-Verse in any way or if it was even possible at the current moment to be more direct about the character’s Jewishness than Spider-Verse’s stepping on a glass scene. I do know that the joy and excitement I’ve seen over Spider-Verse’s stepping on the glass scene has been overwhelming and it has made me and I’m sure many other Jewish fans of Peter Parker, who have long seen this aspect of our own identity reflected back in him, very happy. I do know that making noise about this and lifting it up and saying this is good, we want to see more of this will let people know that the concept of a Jewish Peter Parker is marketable, and that people would embrace this character with that part of his history brought into the light and made explicitly canon. It took decades for another famously Jewish Marvel superhero, Ben Grimm, to be allowed to have that aspect of his identity openly addressed on the page despite the heavy Jewish coding woven into the character’s history, and I believe Spider-Verse’s breaking the glass scene and the reactions I’ve seen towards it are a big step in doing the same for Peter Parker. Pun fully intended.

(Also as someone with a complicated relationship with the concept of the Jewish nose – I want to thank the Into the Spider-Verse artists for the schnoz. It looks good on him.)

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keshetchai

reasons why amy santiago is already jewish:

  • she says she wants holt to be her rabbi
  • instead of calling it the spa or Turkish Bath, she refers to Jake going to The Shvitz. (ep: Old School)
  • Jake wishes her Happy Chanukkah (in the episode Christmas)
  • instead of getting holt one present, she had six small presents which is just one short of the full seven (see above)
  • went to magnet school (it was probably day school)
  • family events center around thanksgiving and never christmas & is in general way more obsessed with thanksgiving dinner than christmas or other holidays
  • is cuban, and there’s definitely a cuban jewish population (one of the local cantors where i am is cuban!)

reasons why amy santiago wasn’t already jewish but converted to judaism:

  • she saw a complete collection of the talmud and fell in love with the cross-indexing 
  • that one time she was like “i LOVE complex and obscure rules” when getting paperwork approved for holt 
  • wants a rabbi in her life (both holt and a real rabbi)
  • loves books a whole lot so probably read the recommended reading list in a week 
  • shavuot is an all night study session and that is the best kind of holiday amy santiago has ever heard of she would convert based on that alone 
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Wizarding Passover Headcanons

Days off at Hogwarts for Passover, and leaving sections of the tables empty for those observing to be able to chill away from temptation but still with friends in the common social environment. Matzos alternatives. A signified Seder table and a Jewish member of the faculty as the head of the table and the youngest little first year reading the four questions. Or a group of first years. 

Hogwarts doesn’t let students go home for Jewish holidays (unless they coincide with Christian ones), so the Jewish students from every House celebrate together. It’s not perfect because they all have different traditions, but they need to stick together.

Magical seders are the most amazing thing, charms are used to illustrate the story of passover, finding the afikomen is an adventure, especially at Hogwarts.

Once Hermione learned where the kitchens were, she went there sometimes, especially during Passover. Even the house-elves were a bit distressed by their limits then, so she made matzah brei herself. She and Anthony Goldstein exchanged recipes.

ACCIO HAMETZ, INSCENDIO. haggadot with moving pictures. instead of finding the matzah you have to catch the matzah. it’s slightly sentient and knows all the good hiding spots

kosher l'pesach chocolate frogs at the seder

your wine glass hovering and nudging you during the seder, reminding you to drink because the next glass of wine is coming up…and then refilling itself of course  

- @fatbabeinadress

Baby Ron getting jealous that baby Ginny gets to ask the Four Questions at Pesach

HOGWARTS SEDERS. The great hall decorated for the Seder. those long ass Hogwarts tables decorated with like ten Seder plates because they are so long. Students staying up way past their bedtime because it’s the Seder and that’s just what you do. all the kids who were at the Seder just wiped out in classes the next day.

Jewish wizards charming matzah into actually tasting decent (what a thought)

Jewish wizards inviting their non Jewish friends to Seders and Friday night dinners

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