Can I Go Home Now?

i love prince eric.  from the little mermaid.  he’s hilarious.  because he seems like one of the most mild-mannered and unassuming princes in the disney canon, but he is also one of the few to actively kill the bad guy.   most disney villains die by consequence of the final battle but are not directly killed by the hero/heroine.  most of them fall to their deaths or cause their own demise, and sometimes the hero is indirectly responsible because they’ll launch them into that direction or something, but they still don’t bring knife to heart directly.  

but then a couple do.  and prince eric is my fave out of those few because up until the final act, he is the most chill motherfucker u ever seen.  like he is quick to spring to action during the storm scene n stuff, but otherwise?  he’s really quiet n sensitive and runs along the beach playing the flute for his big shaggy dog n he smiles like a lil nerd and gets all cute around ariel and he’s so sweet n everything.

AND THEN IN THE FINAL BATTLE THAT MOTHERFUCKER STRAIGHT UP DRIVES A SHIP THROUGH URSULA LIKE WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!  NO WONDER NO ONE IS TRYIN TO LAY SIEGE TO HIS KINGDOM!!  ALL THE NEIGHBOURS ARE LIKE “HOLY SHIT DON’T GO THERE! PRINCE ERIC IS A BEAST!  HE’LL STRAIGHT UP DRIVE A BOAT THROUGH YOUR BITCH!”

i love him

At the beginning of the movie Prince Eric, without hesitation, jumps into the ocean, in the middle of a storm, and climbs onto a ship that’s on fire, all to rescue his dog.

Then when he’s convinced some mystery woman saved him, he starts looking for her just to thank her. On his way, he meets some mute naked teenage girl who can’t even walk or dress herself, confirms that she’s not the girl he’s looking for, then brings her to stay at his castle anyway, for no particular reason.

No one questions this, just like they don’t question when he shows up three days later with a mysterious woman one morning and says he’s getting married that same day. At said wedding, several witnesses see his fiance turn into a sea monster, which he then murders by piloting a submerged ship pulled up from the bottom of the ocean straight into her.

A week later, he marries the mute girl and the god of the sea himself rises from the ocean to give his blessings. Again, no one questions this.

I’m convinced that Eric had to have done some crazy insane stunts on a regular basis, cause despite him being so chill and relaxed normally, no one bats an eyelash at any of his ridiculous decisions or incredible feats during the course of the film. Clearly they’re all used to it, and rumours of him marrying an ocean princess would only dissuade potential enemies of his country even further.

a common conversation around the kingdom:

“Did you hear what Prince Eric did this morning?”

“Oh gods, not again.”

prince eric is a retired epic level player character

Can I just say the cute, chill, sensitive usually mild mannered sweet male hero having bouts of BAT SHIT BUCK WILD ADVENTURES is my favorite? Like gunna play the flute for my dog and look for shells, might kill a fucking evil sea witch with an entire boat later uwu.

OMFG IT’S HAPPENING!!

Hands down the funniest thing I have ever heard at college was overhearing the following sentence at a conference:

“I asked him what his pronouns were and he said ‘uh, PhD.’”

The Lion King (1994) dir. Rob Minkoff, Roger Allers

#you just made it a higher stakes game of hide and seek

Having gone to this University, and having personally played hide and seek in the Harris Fine Arts Center, I guarantee you that NOBODY finds hiders unless they, too, are familiar with the bowels of the HFAC. Once you get down to the practice-room levels, time stops completely and you could walk up the back stair and end up in 1967. The halls change at least 8 times an hour, there’s no way you’re getting back out the same way you came in. When the lights start going off at 10 the whole bottom 3 floors descend into some subsection of the fey realm. I once hid up on the balcony stage access fire-escape thing of a lower-level theater, and 3 faculty walked by under me and not a one of them noticed the hulking, wheezing asthmatic lurking above them, half dangling off a rickety metal ladder that probably wasn’t supposed to be climbed. A fellow hider friend came and found me, and we sat up there for 30 minutes listening to some distant clicking sound before we realized nobody was actually going to find us. We had no cell service, and no internet to reach anyone. We got lost trying to get back out, and once we resurfaced, everyone else was gone, the building was empty, and we just went home to eat ice cream. Nobody knew where we had disappeared to, and nobody bothered to check if we were there before leaving. For all I know, they just assumed we had been lost to the gaping maw of the HFAC basement and when they saw us at church on Sunday it was probably like they’d seen a ghost. None of us ever mentioned it again.

Basically what I’m saying is Campus Police had no hope of finding them in the first place and probably lost an officer or two if they actually conducted a real search, because nobody except Senior art majors or veteran custodians actually knows how to navigate that building and make it out in the same dimension they entered from. Not at 11pm anyway.

“be careful with my emotional baggage,” i say. “it’s designer.”

“be careful with mine, its vintage.”

Captain America: Civil War (2016)

*walks into a psychology lecture wearing a tshirt with freud’s face on it that says “THIS GUY IS A FUCKING IDIOT” in sparkly bold type*

well im glad SOMEONE got the implied subtext in this post

if you like danny devito…….and getting caught in the rain……..

Which Amy Santiago are you today?

The Catholic church convicts Galileo of heresy (1633)

messing up horribly but you’re still cute

#the starter pack for ‘how to deal with villain apologists

Bonus:

“I’m having a very terrible childhood right now” was such a line.

y’all give peter shit for being Awful at keeping his identity a secret but tony stark’s friends literally prepared him a speech so he could perfectly cover his alter-ego and he just got up in front of hundreds of journalists and said ‘i am iron man’ 

#the apple doesn’t yeet far from the tree

my parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying

reblog if you too are scared to drink anything but water when someone takes you out to eat

we’re danny devito stans first and humans second

This man is gonna die on the set of always sunny

IM sCREAMIDG