Custom-Made Dolls

Just adopted...

mama cats often communially raise their kittens with other members of the colony. And since cats see humans as part of the colony, she's just doing what any good mama would do and looking after the human kitten while his mama is busy.

He is worse than wrong. He is, may Heaven forgive him, right but being annoying about it.

This video is where comedy peaked

Omg I can’t breathe 💀💀💀

I

Gentrified food snacks

Greater Blue-eared Glossy-starling (Lamprotornis chalybaeus), family Sturnidae, Kruger National Park, South Africa

photograph by PanWoyteczek

Truly a superb starling

(but not a Superb Starling, because that's a different species)

Chickens complete !

— Kyoko Mori, Yarn

#shadow of the colossus

Manitoulin Island quillboxes, with designs using only the natural colour. Porcupine quill embroidery (quillwork) on birchbark, trimmed with sweetgrass. From the collection of the Ojibwe Cultural Foundation. 1. Marina Recollet 2. Jean Mishibinijima 3. Delia Beboning 4. Josette Debassige 5. Marina Recollet (side view of #8) 6. Eric Beboning (side view of #7) 7. Eric Beboning 8. Marina Recollet

stop asking neil gaiman to confirm/deny things and just violently project your own issues onto the characters the way God intended 

following weird horny furries who are into shit like pooltoys and transformation and stuff is enrichment. the vitamins and minerals of posting

#always excited to learn about a new weird kink and then do nothing with that knowledge whatsoever

Remember if you’re out at a store and someone says “This is a robbery” you can say “no it’s not” and then the robber will leave because theyre a robber and this is no longer a robbery .

You can not just say this without dropping the whole story

Ok so,

My dads coworker is at the front and this man comes Up and hands him a document.

The coworker took a Look at the document and while he couldn't read the things written by Hand, because he wasn't wearing his glases, he did notice the Logo of a different Bank so he's like:

"Oh, sorry sir you can't do that here! You have to go to the other Bank for this :)"

The man, visibly confused leaves, but dosen't take the document with him.

The coworker, now just as confused as the Guy actually Takes Out his glases and reads the hand written part:

This is a robbery

Can you imagine trying to rob a god damn bank and the teller just cheerfully tells you to go rob the competition instead

I worked as a bank teller for several years and a few things you should know, bank robberies happen far more frequently than you might think and they come in waves. When a bank gets robbed a notification with photos goes to all banks in the area to be on the lookout. And there are two kinds of robbery, the pass the note and the takeover (what you see in movies).

So our branch had had a big takeover robbery as well as a note one. We also had a teller that had transferred to our branch after having been through a robbery. She was sweet as apple pie, hair up to the ceiling, southern lady who had just been through multiple robberies.

A guy comes in and hands her a folded note. Her immediate thought was “this guy needs to learn you don’t hand bank tellers notes. I am just not going to read that.” So how the conversation goes:

Her: how can I help you today?

Him: I’m here to get money

Her: great *hands him a withdrawal slip*

Him: all the information is on the paper

Her: to process the transaction I need you to put it on my piece of paper

SO HE FILLS OUT A WITHDRAWAL SLIP. Meanwhile another coworker is looking at her latest robbery notification email thinking the guy at the window looks a lot like him but the teller is calm and seems to be following standard transaction.

Back at the window the teller notices his name on the withdrawal slip doesn’t match the name on the account so she asks for his ID. He once again tells her all the relevant info is on the folded note but also gives her his ID and says it is his dad’s account. She tells him he will need a check from his dad to get cash. He grabs the note and leaves.

ONE HOUR LATER

Two new robbery notifications hit our emails, both branches within a mile. It is our guy. Teller goes over to the manager and sheepishly informs them he was here and the time. Security department is notified as are local police and the FBI. The FBI comes over believing that these poor tellers had been robbed for the 3rd time in a month and take her statement. She is completely embarrassed telling them how everything went down and he kept signaling to the note and telling her to read it but she was just done.

To which this FBI agent of 40 years who has been to the scene of many bank robberies (several at this branch in recent weeks) says: Ok. Let me see if I got this right, he came in fully intending to rob you. He gave you the note and you just…refused to read it? So he left and went to the bank literally across the street, handed them the exact same note, and they just handed him five grand? Do I have that correct?”

Her: I am so embarrassed

FBI: this is best thing I have ever heard. He even handed you his ID! Holy-

Her: I feel so dumb!

FBI: don’t! This is the best thing I have ever heard. This is going to be in training courses. (He sat there giddy for at least 5 more minutes)

I have a similar story from my friend Fred, who is a great human and I like him lots.

He was working at a 7-11 that got robbed a lot, working nights. And he was bored and read though his entire contract and learned if you're shot at work you get $200,000. Also, he hated his boss and the job.

So when a guy came in to rob him at gunpoint he got excited and was able to hatch the plan he had been pondering while dealing with a Shitty Boring Job.

"Dude. Shoot me in the leg. Right here- it'll go through and not hit anything vital and I'll be able to quit this fucking job. I'll give you fifty fucking grand to shoot me in the leg then you can take everything in the register."

This ended with him chasing the weeping attempted burglar out of his store screaming "SHOOT ME YOU FUCKING COWARD I WANT THE MONEY".

@rmilkies

One of my uncles was a branch manager at a local bank when I was a kid. His branch had the dubious honor of being one of- if not the- most robbed bank in the area. There was a bullet hole in the wall behind his desk where he'd been shot at once.

One day, this guy came in and announced he was there to rob the place. This man was smoking a cigar with one hand and had a gun in the other.

My uncle pointed at the "No Smoking" sign and told him in no uncertain terms, "Put that cigar out, or finish it outside first."

This guy, bless his heart, went back outside to finish his cigar.

My uncle locked the door behind him and waited for the cops to show up.

This is what I like to call the Bugs Bunny Deescalation Strategy

i just released my pattern for “go knit yourself”!

this is my double knit art piece depicting a little guy knitting himself up (:

Awesome 👏

Dear lord!

@advanced-procrastination iM

drift compatible

it took me a moment to realize what was going on with their hands. Drift compatible indeed!

RAW Irish Gay Music

[video description: two women playing a violin and a banjo. where ordinarily each instrument is a two-handed single-player operation, one hand working the strings on the neck of the instrument and the other plucking the strings on the banjo body or bowing the strings on the violin body, here both instruments are two-player because each woman is working the neck of one instrument and the body of another. partway through, a third woman comes up with a tin whistle, which again is ordinarily single-player, requiring both hands on the holes and mouth blowing into the mouthpiece; here, the third woman does the hands part for the whistle while one of the first two does the blowing.]

i love that specific ao3 phenomenon where you get a sudden influx of kudos on a work and it’s clear someone shared your fic but you have no idea who they are or where they shared it. it’s like being a dickensian orphan receiving money from a mysterious benefactor.