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Hello Sweetie

@professor-snogbox / professor-snogbox.tumblr.com

I hope you enjoy my blog that's full of randomness!! :) Instagram: rj_letts
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honeybrees

i’m crossing the street and i get hit by a tesla on self-drive. off goes the yuppie, hit-and-run. lady saw it happen and she’s trying to keep it together, getting someone to call paramedics and keeping me talking, but the writing’s on the wall folks, i’m fucked. so i say to the lady, i say “listen. the optimal vessel for enjoying hot soup is a mug, not a bowl.” she’s looking at me like i’m insane but i explain, i say “a bowl, especially a flat one, has more surface area for the soup to cool off. your soup gets cold too fast in a bowl, especially a flat one. you want a mug. soup stays hot the whole time and you can actually enjoy it how it was meant to be enjoyed.” she’s nodding, tears in her eyes, she knows it’s coming now. but there’s something else comin she don’t know. we both get hit by the second tesla

posts that have 10k notes in my heart

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colorfeels

Took a bunch of candles from my church’s Christmas service because I am CRIMINAL

MERRY CHRISTMAS SUCKAS LIGHT IT UP

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playgrounder

But my friend you left so early! Surely something slipped your mind… You forgot I gave these also! Would you leave the best behind?

Ive never laughed so hard at a post

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dormouseking

Pretty fucked up that queer people’s emotional development is usually like

0-12: childhood

12-22: t̷̬̳̫̜̬͙̯̝̤͌̇h̷̗̾̃̂̓̿̚̕̚ͅͅë̴̡̙̟͚͖͖̟́ ̶͙̲̱͍̝̔̔̾̾́d̴̛̫͚̳̫̈́̐̒̀̏̑̀͝ä̶̯͔͓͇̮̱̠͉́̓̋̌̈́̔̏ͅr̶̹̳̣̭̞̳̱͔͌ͅk̷̲̜͙̝̲̿̐̓ņ̷̢͔̺̤͕͕͓͋̐͆̈́̇́̆͜͠e̵͇͗̍͂̚ṣ̶̟̼̩́̍̉s̴̥̐̅ ̶̢̜͉͚͍̉̓͑̒̑͝o̵̧̠̙̐͗́̋͊̿̈́͛̉f̸̫͊̐̀̈́̕͝ͅ ̸̭̺͓̘̪́͝t̷̛̺͆̈́͘h̸͚̺̣͍̃̇̈́͑͋è̷̙͙͍͇͈͉͎̔̂̚ ̵͍̥̈́̆̆̐v̶͖̈̐̓͋̍̈́͘o̴̳͖͊͛̋i̸̙̾͂͆̈̓d̵̢̩͓̻͎̲͓̓͜

22-30: adolescence

another common one is

0-12: [memories redacted ‘cause trauma]

12-22: t̷̬̳̫̜̬͙̯̝̤͌̇h̷̗̾̃̂̓̿̚̕̚ͅͅë̴̡̙̟͚͖͖̟́ ̶͙̲̱͍̝̔̔̾̾́d̴̛̫͚̳̫̈́̐̒̀̏̑̀͝ä̶̯͔͓͇̮̱̠͉́̓̋̌̈́̔̏ͅr̶̹̳̣̭̞̳̱͔͌ͅk̷̲̜͙̝̲̿̐̓ņ̷̢͔̺̤͕͕͓͋̐͆̈́̇́̆͜͠e̵͇͗̍͂̚ṣ̶̟̼̩́̍̉s̴̥̐̅ ̶̢̜͉͚͍̉̓͑̒̑͝o̵̧̠̙̐͗́̋͊̿̈́͛̉f̸̫͊̐̀̈́̕͝ͅ ̸̭̺͓̘̪́͝t̷̛̺͆̈́͘h̸͚̺̣͍̃̇̈́͑͋è̷̙͙͍͇͈͉͎̔̂̚ ̵͍̥̈́̆̆̐v̶͖̈̐̓͋̍̈́͘o̴̳͖͊͛̋i̸̙̾͂͆̈̓d̵̢̩͓̻͎̲͓̓͜

22-30: learning how to function

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An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first mathematician orders a beer

The second orders half a beer

“I don’t serve half-beers” the bartender replies

“Excuse me?” Asks mathematician #2

“What kind of bar serves half-beers?” The bartender remarks. “That’s ridiculous.”

“Oh c'mon” says mathematician #1 “do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along”

“There are very strict laws on how I can serve drinks. I couldn’t serve you half a beer even if I wanted to.”

“But that’s not a problem” mathematician #3 chimes in “at the end of the joke you serve us a whole number of beers. You see, when you take the sum of a continuously halving function-”

“I know how limits work” interjects the bartender  "Oh, alright then. I didn’t want to assume a bartender would be familiar with such advanced mathematics"

“Are you kidding me?” The bartender replies, “you learn limits in like, 9th grade! What kind of mathematician thinks limits are advanced mathematics?”

“HE’S ON TO US” mathematician #1 screeches

Simultaneously, every mathematician opens their mouth and out pours a cloud of multicolored mosquitoes. Each mathematician is bellowing insects of a different shade.  The mosquitoes form into a singular, polychromatic swarm. “FOOLS” it booms in unison, “I WILL INFECT EVERY BEING ON THIS PATHETIC PLANET WITH MALARIA”

The bartender stands fearless against the technicolor hoard. “But wait” he inturrupts, thinking fast, “if you do that, politicians will use the catastrophe as an excuse to implement free healthcare. Think of how much that will hurt the taxpayers!”

The mosquitoes fall silent for a brief moment. “My God, you’re right. We didn’t think about the economy! Very well, we will not attack this dimension. FOR THE TAXPAYERS!” and with that, they vanish.

A nearby barfly stumbles over to the bartender. “How did you know that that would work?”

“It’s simple really” the bartender says. “I saw that the vectors formed a gradient, and therefore must be conservative.”

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It's a fantastic point, but John Boyega's net worth also puts him at $6 million. When he says eat the rich, he isn't safe either...

There’s a pretty big fucking difference between six million and one trillion lmao

Not to mention the way the money was made

An actor being paid for a role / doing some advertising is a world away form a man setting up a cooperate money machine that horrendously exploits workers

This is something I hate SO MUCH about how tumblr talks about money.

Like, I get that famous actors have large amounts of money, some of them are even probably overpaid (I have complicated thoughts about how actors are paid because of the nature of acting as a career), but they are exchanging labor for money, and their salaries are an expense involved in making a movie.

But like... an actor is paid for a job. They’re a worker like the rest of us. Bezos isn’t paid for a job, he’s paid for being the person who owns Amazon and despite being obscenely wealthy, he does all sorts of shitty things and to underpay and exploit his workers, and avoid paying taxes, so that more of the money Amazon generates will be profit (worker’s salaries are not profit, they’re a business expense). 

These two mechanisms of acquiring money are fundamentally very different. 

The reason why billionaires are evil aren’t because having money is bad, its because to get a billion dollars you have to cheat. You have to take it from someone else. If Bezos paid all his workers and suppliers fairly and treated them well, and paid his fair amount of taxes, and etc, then it literally wouldn’t matter how much money he earned, because he wouldn’t be doing anyone any harm. But its not actually possible to amass a billion dollars (a full order of magnitude bigger than a million) while behaving in an ethical manner. 

Remember folks, proletariat literally means you get paid for working, whereas bourgeoisie literally means generating money via OWNING. Yeah, even the high profile actor isn’t your enemy on that basis alone - but the media executives dictating their contracts and careers are.

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