Vibes And Crimes

I made a snail his name is Marvin. He would like to let you know that you should smile. Have a good day! :)

I asked one of my (male) friends to stop using the phrase “man up” and he has been using “fortify” for the past two weeks instead and it’s just a little thing but honestly it makes a difference

and tbh it’s also pretty funny when I start to deflate in the library and he leans over and goes “FORTIFY”

you ever think about how toasters love bread but hate toast

they grab the bread and hold it tight and keep it in their warmth but as soon as there's toast they're like get this shit outta here

toasters don't hate toasts, they know it's still the same bread they love

they just know if they were together any longer, the bread would be ruined

and the toaster would have to live with the guilt of making it's love, the bread, unrecognizable

of course... so wise. as we know, to be loved is to be changed, but sometimes we forget the change is not always for the better

this is a metaphorical thought experiment about the nature of love. doing yuri with your toaster may lead to severe burns. do not do yuri with your toaster

Who's forcing you to work out?

I've just realized I misunderstood this post.

you: suck my dick me, an intellectual: inhale my richard

here it is! the post that started a “me, an intellectual” hell frenzy, and is officially ⭐ the worst post of 2016 ⭐

you: the worst post of 2016

me, an intellectual: modern art

Look everyone look

youve taken the time to learn my attack patterns? what are you, gay?

cuttlefish have three hearts because they love you so much

he loves you

#Derin’s old user icon

I’m just getting bullied in posts I have nothing to do with now

LOL

We need HOAs or some idiots will paint their house purple or put tractor tires in their front yard.  If you want tractor tires, don’t move to a HOA neighborhood.

I couldn’t even fathom how horrifying it must be to live somewhere there are...purple houses and and yucky stuff in people’s yards. Thank God I don’t have any real problems like that.

listen my Nonna and Nonno live right by a purple house (it’s a nice lilac) and as a kid I was fucking obsessed with it because purple is my favorite color. I’d go nuts whenever we passed by it. Also it had a purple mailbox to match and it blew my mind.

No more HOAs. More purple houses.

imagine trying to control what someone else can do with or on their own property just because you don't agree with their taste in decor

NO MORE HOAs MORE PURPLE HOUSES

Related, becuase I just had to move:  “just don’t move into an HOA” Do you know what a PAIN IN THE ASS it is to find NON-HOA Housing? Very nearly everything in the CO front range that isn’t a rental has an HOA these days!

Short list of the Shit the HOA at my pervious house tried to pull:

HOAs are invasive, bigoted, corrupt and cruel institutions that should never have been allowed to be created.  If you live in and HOA area, showing up at the meetings to tell people what the fuck is wrong with them, Joining your HOA board to protect your neighbors and possibly organize the dissolution of the HOA is one of the best things you can do to protect the marginalized members of your community.

FUCK HOAs AND LONG LIVE THE PURPLE HOUSES AND TRACTOR-TIRE GARDENS OF THE WORLD.

Are y'all telling me this shit is actually LEGAL?

Here’s how to get an HOA to leave you and your purple house tf alone

cant stop thinking about this post. 😔

direct action

HOAs, IN THEORY, could be such a force for public good, and that’s what’s maddening. Imagine if an HOA was like “well we’ve got all these houses and this one empty lot, pay your HOA dues and we can install a community food garden!” or “leave your contact information on the HOA residents-only webpage if you’re willing to be an after-school dropoff for children in our community who may not have a parent at home” or “hi, Sally, we’ve noticed your yard’s gone rather hogwild and things weren’t like that before your husband passed last year, do you need some help? We have some folks in the HOA who can help you with maintenance, no charge.”

Instead they choose isolation over community in the name of a unity that’s in image only, and that’s really, really sad.

Friend of mine bought a small house, an old one in an old neighborhood. She had no idea it was an HOA neighborhood until the day she moved in. They arrived with paperwork she "had" to sign or things would get "complicated", aka do this or we're gonna make life hell for you. She immediately told them no, she has no desire to be part of the HOA, and they about blew a gasket. Went from civil to wtf real quick. They tried sending her violation reports, demanded she pay fines, threatened her, etc. What they didn't know is she's petty and gives zero fucks. She also lives keeping paperwork nice and tidy.

Shit hit the fan when she installed a wall around her property. A 3 feet tall 2 foot wide wall around her yard. Topped with gorgeous iron work with sharp points that make climbing dangeous. Think Addams Family Lite. They tried to stop the construction because she was using the /wrong/ company (a mutual aid group she worked with). Send her fines and fees, and made the mistake of sending a copy of the HOA contract with a forged signature.

Ooooo...it got so ugly! She remembered the HOA post here about that happening to others and, well, the HOA broke up because of other fuckery on top of this. But it was mostly due to her dragging them in court for fraud, harassment, disturbing the peace, trespassing, stalking, and a few other things. She was petty about it too, looked into every fucking thing she could to destroy them.

I was informed that you not, in fact, obligated to sign the HOA contract. It's not a legal requirement. When you look for a home, make sure to ask about the possible HOAs, and look at the details of your homeowner's contract. Sometimes HOAs have that shit written into the purchase. If you see it, change the contract, put your initials and date in the changed sections, and see how the real estate agent handles in. This is legal, btw.

Don't sign the HOA contract, learn the laws regarding yard stuff (did you know you can apply to have your yard declared a wildlife reserve?), and be petty af when the nosy neighbors won't mind their business.

an HOA in denton recently strong-armed a developer into removing balconies and a sidewalk from a plan for new apartments because 🥺🥺🥺🥺 what if the yucky apartment people can see us 🥺🥺🥺🥺 least reactionary HOA behavior tbh

Wait a minute, I can just change stuff in a contract before signing it? How does that work?

You can change anything you like in a contract so long as nobody's signed it yet. Once somebody's signed it then, obviously, any revisions have to be sent back to them for approval (since they didn't see and approve them when they signed it). Your landlord/real estate agent won't sign the contract until after you, so before you sign it you can make whatever changes you want. If they don't agree to the alterations, they won't sign the altered contract. A contract is a two-way agreement.

#funguary day 1, Mycena subcyanocephala! Or Blue Bonnet mushroom. A newly discovered mushroom from Taiwan - it’s only been seen about 8 times.

I need y’all to understand just how SMALL this mushroom is

really like when someone follows *after* a long scroll of likes and reblogs. glad to know I got through your rigorous vetting process

THE TYRANNY OF THE SUN IS OVER

false alarm it burns again