Frame Perfect

Dog girls want one thing, and it's fucking disgusting.

For some reason this one is making the rounds again on Twitter so I might as well yeet it back into tumblr too 😤😤😤

i was so excited to see a hummingbird hawk-moth inside the garden centre today that i bothered a stranger about it.

lucky for me he was an entomologist and just as hyped! 🥹 (unlucky for me, i couldn't wow him with my sick moth knowledge.)

Let service industry workers say “fuck” please

I used to work at a sandwich place that also did lattes n stuff. We’d get nasty customers every once in a while, and when we did, we got to unleash Neal. Let me explain...no, it is too much, let me sum up:

The manager moved from the deep south to get this job, he’d been looking for a job in the PNW, and he somehow talked the owners into letting his platonic life mate, Neal, be the Assist Manager. So he, his wife, and his BFF forever come and take over this shop but the owners must not have actually...spoken...to Neal. He was INSANE. I mean, I never had trouble with him, but he frightened the new girls with his crazy eyes, liked knives way too much and looked like one of those tiny white guys who was spoiling for a fight and couldn’t back it up...except he could. 500 pounds of crazy in a 120 pound bag, you might say. But he was perfect, PERFECT for jerk customers who bullied new girls. Here’s an example:

So one day, I’m schlepping sandwiches, and I see the new coffee girl just...get yelled at by this big dude, who seemed way too comfortable yelling at strangers in front of other strangers in a line behind him, and maybe, if this had been somewhere else, he would have gotten away with it, because I have noticed strangers let randos yell at hapless teen college student girls who are tiny and just trying to get a buck man wow that is a whole ass THING anyway I stepped away from my sandwich, went into the back where Neal was slicing vegetables happily with a knife and tapped him in for an intervention.

My man Neal steps out from the back with knife in hand, bless. Steps up to the front and watching the chain reaction of coworkers hiding smiles, customers get big eyes, the new girl being alarmed and confused, and the big dude yelling just...not knowing what was about to happen was this...free show I just ate up om nom nom.

He does the managerial, what seems to be the problem (knife in hand), guy yells, wants his money back. Neal is all, so sorry, sure you can have money back (knife in hand slowly moving), guy yells, new girl steps back, unsure. Neal is all, but you can’t yell, sir, this a place of business, can’t we be reasonable (knife finally rest on counter, now Neal goes for his apron strings uh oh), and all the workers know this means Neal is about to be able to claim he was on break when he punched this guy.

Snacks are coming out. Tea is being drunk. Sandwiches are not being made. The whole place is bated breath on the free show. This is prime popcorn.gif territory irl.

Neal asks the dude to step outside, and the dude goes out! Big plate glass windows, everyone can see but not hear as the beast is unleashed. Neal is up in his grill, not touching, waiting just waiting for the yelling big dude to make the first point of contact. And folks, I am here to tell you that dumbass pushed Neal first and wow have you ever seen a hunting terrier just go for the ankles and take a beast down? It was like that. This guys chickened out so fast from the force of the maniac Assist Mngr ‘on his break’ and it was a beautiful thing to watch. Dude never came back, and the new girl was way more comfortable after that.

So hey. If you ever talk your way into running a shop where you know assholes are going to be mean to your workers, make sure to bring your feral best friend with the crazy eyes who likes knives way too much to defend them.

my favorite thing about joe and cleo is that they are, in fact, both like this.

koala hug

I will miss you if they finally realize about you, Tumblr the website and app Twitter account. You shined bright, you magnificent being.

And some of you may not have heard this peak of human culture, but... just after Twitter purchase by Elon Musk got confirmed, a bunch of (serious) journalist put together a Twitter Space (a live audio streaming where any of the attendees can ask to participate) about what was going to happen next, and ... @tumblr joined. And... they invited tumblr to speak. I can't describe how much joy this moment brought me and how fucking proud made me of being part of our little entropy generator here:

canon Tumblr voice

I DONT KNOW WHAT I EXPECTED BUT MY EXPECTATIOBS WERE BY FUCKING FAR EXCEEDED

TUMBLR VOICE REVEAL!????

pathetic, wretched, pitiable joltiks

I want the railroad laborers to go on strike anyways and just complete fucking destroy this country

executive function

me bunny // 10-19-21

tunisian fans hold a flag with free palestine written on it during tunisia v australia | 26.11.22

Game: Mega Man 7 (1995, SNES)

TAS author: sparky

Source: tasvideos.org/1550M