How can I resolve an argument between characters in my story?
Hi, anon! Thanks for this ask! I personally think things like arguments/argument resolution can be hard to write because sometimes our own experiences are so emotionally charged. That can make it hard to look back and parse out any details that could give you a base to write about others arguing. So thank you for sending this in– I’m sure many others were wondering about this as well.
Resolving Arguments
Because this is a super important ask, I’m going to try to cover as many bases as I can so this might get long. I’m going to generally use argument and conflict pretty interchangeably because a lot of this applies to any resolving any interpersonal conflict two characters might have! TLDR; to resolve conflict of any type, consider the characters’ relationship dynamics, the nature of the argument, and how you can stay true to your characters.
Generally, conflict resolution looks different for everyone in every situation. And resolution isn’t inherently great. Sometimes it just means the argument is over, even if the problems aren’t solved. Sometimes things go back to normal with little or no effort. Sometimes conflict creates a new normal, for better or for worse. Sometimes people work at resolving a conflict for a very long time and never can– and ultimately end up having to end the relationship or create distance. To figure out which resolution fits your characters best…
Think about relationship dynamics.
Two coworkers are going to mediate conflict very differently than a mother and a daughter, a couple that’s been married for 30 years, than two people who just met, and so on. Some things to think about might be:
- Do the characters want to/have to work it out?
- Was their relationship casual, intimate, loving, hateful, etc.?
- Is there a power imbalance in the relationship?
Example: two characters who have a distant relationship and aren’t forced to interact with each other might not work towards resolution. But if two characters are distant and are forced to work through the argument it might bring them closer together.
And don’t forget to consider the dynamics they have with people outside the direct conflict! Another character might help resolve the situation– this could be anyone from a licensed therapist to a mutual friend to the HR person at work.
Example: a character who feels angry on behalf of a loved one might encourage them to end the relationship, drag on the conflict, or get something specific from resolution.
Think about the nature of the argument.
How explosive/hurtful/meaningful an argument was will really affect the ways that your characters will move past it.
Example: if two characters knowingly attacks each other’s deep, hidden insecurities it might be a lot harder to move past than bickering about where to get takeout.
Also consider why the characters were arguing in the first place.
Example: was it because one character was really stressed about something completely separate? If so, maybe that character ends the argument by breaking down and admitting what’s really bothering them.
And lastly consider the timing/setting.
Example: Are the characters in a public space and concerned about their reputations? Then they might end the argument suddenly. Are they having an explosive argument at home the night they get back from their honeymoon? Then one of them might storm out in anger.
Stay true to your characters.
Any emotional situation can make characters act different than normal but make sure it’s still within reason. A character who is never shown to initiate deep, emotional conversations probably isn’t going to unless there is a solid justification propelling them. That’s not to say this character can’t initiate a heart to heart to resolve the conflict. There are plenty of good reasons why someone might try something new. Maybe they’ve been working hard to open up. Maybe they have something they’ve finally decided to confess. You know your characters best so stick with your gut!
Also consider past experiences. Conflict resolution is a skill, and it’s not one people are naturally born with, which is why the behavior past experiences model is so, so important.
Example: has the character always been surrounded by people who avoid talking about/resolving conflict? Then shutting down/brushing it off would probably be their first instinct (unless your character has been shown to do a lot of personal work to change that behavior like I mentioned above). Or, has your character always been surrounded by people who talk through issues, who solve problems purposefully? Then that would probably be their first instinct.
Conflict is messy so people clean it up in all sorts of different ways. So unfortunately, there’s no hard and fast formulaic answer for how to resolve arguments. In general, a good resolution will fit with the other parts of the story. Hopefully this gives you some helpful questions to guide your writing! As always, send in more asks if you have any more questions!
Happy writing,
- Mod Ells
