lonesome;

I love that Jeremy’s thought process is literally: oh we Trojans don’t suppress our anger it’s healthy to express your feelings! Except me :) I’ll keep all my problems buried so deep only the very edges poke out :) have you met my cardboard dog yet?

Favorite book characters of all time (3/?)

Such an unexpected will to survive from someone who has nothing to live for.

Jean Moreau

obsessed with jean’s colorful insults/descriptions so here’s a compiled list of them in order

ok that’s all. unless i missed some. and if i did you have to add them it’s just law

neil josten is just a feral little creature and this book showed us even more how fierce and cunning he can be but also - how kind he is??? he literally was so kind to jean in all of their interactions, even when he was being ruthless there was this underlying kindess and oh my god i love him

Patroclus, he says, Patroclus, Patroclus. Over and over until it is sound only. Somewhere Odysseus is kneeling, urging food and drink. A fierce red rage comes, and he almost kills him there. But he would have to let go of me. He cannot. He holds me so tightly I can feel the faint beat of his chest, like the wings of a moth. An echo, the last bit of spirit still tethered to my body. A torment.

pleeeeeeease not jeremy acting all interested when he sees that jean has a photo of renee on his desk and saying ''oh! she's cute!'' when he actually dgaf just for jean to look at him and say "you like men. 🤨" and jeremy responding with "yeah, and you do too tf 🫵"

catalina alvarez is everything to me. she's a lesbian. she rides a mothercycle. she is clumsy as hell. she cooks to stress relieve. she has improptu dance parties by herself. she hums while eating when she's happy. she knows her girlfriend so well to reach exatcly where laila "lost" the remote. she named her queer friend group "the floozys". lesbian in stem. loml. cannot wait for more of her in tsc2

I hate you,” Andrew said casually. He took a last long drag from his cigarette and flicked it off the roof. “You were supposed to be a side effect of the drugs." ― Nora Sakavic, The King's Men @lgbtqcreators creator bingo ― free choice creative

Cat's and Jean's friendship is very important to me 🫂

I just... he had a little sister that he loved more than anything. he followed thea around like a lost little duckling. he was in love with his best friend and it almost destroyed him. he uses pain to both punish himself and stave off panic attacks. he survived five years of brutal torture and abuse by the skin of his teeth. his parents sold him. his little sister is dead. he wants to burn the house down. he cannot cook or shop for himself. he hates his old teammates. he loves his old teammates. he quite possibly loves his new teammates even more. he frets for the safety of people he barely knows. he's terrified of water, of being bitten, of being hurt again. he laughed when his worst abuser was dethroned and beaten and then tried to kill himself in solidarity.

he's finding reasons to live, day by day, one step at a time. a cool evening breeze, rainbows, open roads, friends.

he is jean moreau. he knows his place. he will endure.

there's so many things in tsc that just come at you all at once, so it's hard to focus on just one thing to break down, but the most glaring thing that stood out to me is how hard it is to really put someone back together. especially someone so shattered that it's nigh impossible to glue them back and pray they don't crumble under your ministrations.

if jean is neil's foil, then jeremy is andrew's direct antithesis. whereas andrew is a steady bedrock because he's been broken too many times to know how to weather the storm, jeremy is too soft hands and an even softer soul. he cares and cares and cares. so empathetic and so gentle it almost breaks your heart. you pray for the impossibility that jeremy can survive knowing the truth because if he doesn't, then what hope does jean have? so you pray he can be steady too. that he can weather the storm as well. that he will not break when knowing that just under the surface lies shark-infested waters.

but then you remember the beginning. "even knowing everything could go completely sideways, you'd make that choice every time"

in every other universe, jean has not survived. but in every other universe, he did not have the trojans.

neil josten ordering two thai iced teas and a mafia hit on the same page. he is god's perfect babygirl.

the most underrated friendship will always be Andrew and Wymack they are like best friends to me

Isn’t that reason enough to keep living? To rediscover simple delights one moment at a time, I mean. I used to count them on my fingers, reassuring myself there was still good in the world and reminding myself to keep looking for those blessings. Butterflies, fresh-baked bread, the crunch of leaves on an autumn morning, so on and so forth. They don’t have to be profound. I started with one: the scent of fresh-cut grass. […] What you hold onto is less important than the act of holding on itself. It’s so easy to get lost in ourselves and this world. Sometimes you need to find your way back one tiny miracle at a time. —THE SUNSHINE COURT, NORA SAKAVIC