Reblogged subsequentibis
6i0-deactivated20180625
animals will find a warm place and SIT there! dope philosophy
Reblogged cluelessrebel1988
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GNU Philip Barrett
#terry pratchett#terry pratchett quotes#discworld quotes#book quotes#discworld#death#reaper man#this is a little weird#but in memory of my dad#who would have liked being eemembered on my silly little blog from ages ago#and would have liked people connecting his name with discworld#he introduced me to discworld#GNU Philip Barrett#6th June 1958 - 8th May 2023
"The vampire gave her the kind of smile only a vampire can give. It would have been sheepish, if sheep had different teeth."
- Terry Pratchett - Monstrous Regiment
#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#monstrous regiment#discworld misc#took me too long to figure our why id spelled monstrous wrong#apparently theres no e in there#im posting this in a dress rehearsal#sitting in front of my computer in full green face paint#gettimg green all over my phone as i type#fun quarantine times#vampire#sheep#teeth#fangs#humoir
"The immortal remains of Brother Watchtower watched the dragon flap away into the fog, and then looked down at the congealing puddle of stone, metal and miscellaneous trace elements that was all that remained of the secret headquarters. And of its occupants, he realized in the dispassionate way that is part of being dead. You go through your whole life and end up a smear swirling around like cream in a coffee cup. Whatever the gods’ games were, they played them in a damn mysterious way. He looked up at the hooded figure beside him. “We never intended this,” he said weakly. “Honestly. No offense. We just wanted what was due to us.” A skeletal hand patted him on the shoulder, not unkindly. And Death said, CONGRATULATIONS"
Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!
"Monsters are getting more uppity, too," said another. "I heard where this guy, he killed this monster in this lake, no problem, stuck its arm up over the door-"
"Pour encourjay lays ortras," said one of the listeners.
"Right, and you know what? Its mum come and complained. Its actual mum come right down to the hall next day and complained. Actually complained. That's the respect you get."
- Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!
"Might have just been an innocent bystander, sir," said Carrot
"What, in Ankh-Morpork?"
"Yes, sir."
"We should have grabbed him, then, just for the rarity value."
- Terry Pratchett - Guards! Guards!
#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#humour#carrot ironfoundersson#sam vimes#ankh morpork#innocence#crime#discworld city watch#im pretty sure ive actually already posted this one but i dont care#plus i couldnt find it when i looked for it so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#i a a whole dumbass and forgot to source the boom and author im gonna cry why pls never look at my blog again i hate everything
"At times like this it's traditional that a hero comes forth," said the president of the Guild of Assassins. "A dragon slayer. Where is he, that's what I want to know? Why aren't our schools turning out young people with the kind of skills society needs."
- Terry Pratchett - Guards Guards
#terry pratchett quotes#terry pratchett#discworld quotes#discworld#guards guards#humour#guild of assassins#discworld city watch#dragon slayer#school#education#hero#editing my tags cos i read the responses to the last quote#funnily enough this coming splurge of guards guards quotes was inspired by the specific tiktok people are mentioning 😂#fun times
"You’d have thought, with that pale, equine face, that he’d incline towards stuff with whips, needles, and young women in dungeons. The other lords could have accepted that. Nothing wrong with whips and needles, in moderation. But the Patrician apparently spent his evenings studying reports and, on special occasions, if he could stand the excitement, playing chess."
- Terry Pratchett - Guards Guards
"Only Ron's dog was watching William. He considered that it had, for a dog, a very offensive and knowing look. A Couple of months ago someaone had tried to hand William the old story about there being a dog in the city that could talk. William had explained that it was an urban myth. It was always a friend of a friend who had heard it talk, and it was never anyone who had seen the dog. The dog in front of William didn't look as if it could talk, but it DID look as if it would swear."
Terry Pratchett - The Truth
"Mrs. Tilly, I think you wrote a lovely well-spelled and grammatical letter to us suggesting that everyone under the age of eighteen shoulqd be flogged once a week to stop them being so noisy?’ '
Once a day, Mr de Worde,’ said Mrs. Tilly. ‘That’ll teach ‘em to go around being young!"
- Terry Pratchett - The Truth