IRON MAN FUCKS

Honestly it is 20% imagination, and then 80% simple repetitive practise. And I mean like, practise practise practise practise. I’ve always loved writing, even when I was little, but I started doing it regularly when I was about 12? The first fic on my ao3 is one I wrote when i was thirteen, and I genuinely just Did Not Stop for five years. Whenever you get the opportunity, just churn something out. Anything at all! And I’m sorry you sometimes feel that way when you read my work, but just know, it didn’t all come naturally. I dedicated a hell of a lot of my time to writing- although even after all these years, I still look at my work and think it isn’t good enough. Sometimes those bad feelings about yourself don’t go away, but you just have to learn to ignore them, because that is a part of your brain that isn’t worth your time. Honestly, I absolutely 100% guarantee your work is so much better than what you think it might be. What you perceive ur work to be vs. what others perceive it to be are two WILDLY different things. 

Don’t give up!

yeah I totally get that. I think more than anything it’s just inner frustration bc i made such a name for myself here and i worked so so hard for this, and like now ive moved on from fandom i just have all this (not to toot my own horn or anything but) incredible stuff that I just have nothing I can do with. 19k followers and no idea how to make that work in a way that I want it to. And now people around me are doing their own creative stuff, and I can’t help feeling bitter bc like! i was doing this stuff too! I was making a small salary off my writing commissions by the time i was Sixteen and i was really good it at and now i cant even talk about it bc i know it’ll get laughed off or dismissed!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yanno I’ve actually had a hell of a year in terms of like (cringe alert) personal growth and that shit. I’ve grown up a hell of a lot and worked a lot on myself and i do genuinely think im in a better place in a lot of ways. There is also the irritating fact unfortunately that with every old thing i feel like im starting to process better, it’s like i’m developing new things to slow me down? very. hmm. frustrating. I think i’m a little bit lost in terms of my future direction rn, but its all like. a work in process. I just miss WRITING mostly. I wanna WRITE. I wanna fuckin uhhh CREATE its been months and ive been focused so much on my college work and it is fucking BORING i would like to write about COOL FUTURISTIC ADVENTURES NOW 

I have come onto tumblr for a brief fill of that Sweet Sweet Validation bc this has always been my only ever source of it and BOY it has been delivered so quick...... i love you

I feel like I don’t have the write style for poetry im not like. hmmm. poignant enough. also i swear too much. also I dont know anything at all about how to write poetry.