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I don't wanna live forever

@mentallydatinghemmoluke

wondering if I just dodged a bullet or lost the Love of my life
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paratmin
“Her fingers filled the gaps between his fingers. Her love filled the parts of his heart which hate had occupied. Her liveliness filled the emptiness that his life had. Her presence filled the absence created by people who left him. Her kindness filled the harshness he experienced from the world with humanity and love.”

She filled him up with so much.

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tevanbuckley

MARVEL WOMEN + Knowing their own strength

This is that moment, Vers! Turn off the light show, and prove, prove to me, you can beat me without…
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wordsbyt
I’m not the same. Not the same person you knew. Not the same one that you told goodbye. Not the same one that you left standing in the shadows. Not the same one who cried.
I’m better now. Better than I was back then. Better because I’ve changed. Better because I accepted the fact that it’s me that matters. Better because I know I matter.
I still want more. Still need that extra kick. Still show signs of falling. Still have scars. Still look back over my shoulder to see if you are coming. Still know you are not.
I’m not the same. I’m better now. But, I still want more.......
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wordsbyt
Love is like falling water. So refreshing, so cleansing. Before it falls, it has magical powers. It can lift you. Your spirit, your wholeness. It can take your tired, wore out self, and make you feel alive. But when it falls, it crashes down on you. Crushes you with it’s weight. It cares not that you try to catch it. You can’t. Then it will surround you, but you still can’t grab it. It will slip thru your fingers, and move on. It never stops.
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goodreadss
““I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where. I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I do not know any other way of loving but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep your eyes close.””

— Pablo Neruda, 100 Love Sonnets

Source: goodreadss
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& I’ll always wake up before

the sun so that I'm the first

thing that touches your

face every morning, once

I realized that words could

touch you, I wanted to

become a poem, I want to

fall asleep to the stories in

your eyes & wake up in your

dreams

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Sometimes I’m okay and sometimes I wonder how to make the world stop spinning so I can get off. what do you call it when you haven’t slept for a heartbreak or four? and maybe it doesn’t matter how badly I want to hold a hand, they’ll never feel warm. the moon will never skate across the ocean floor. I gave you every single one of my thoughts today - the way I love you has forever written all over it.

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I don’t ask the stars for

much, just a reason to smile

every time I look up, I want

all the hours of you, all the

thunderous waves that rewind

us on recall - love is only as

real as hope - & though I

just wanted to become

someone that no one could

take away from you, I don’t

know how I made it through

another year

without you

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It’s who you wish for

when you’re lonely; it’s

who you reach for when

you’re not, you’re in my

heart, get comfortable -

I could swallow every

sunset you’ve seen &

still come up empty, my

favourite dreams are

the memories holding

you - the only thing I

know for certain: loving

you is the only thing I did

right this year

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I love all the ways you don’t

think about me, all the sparrows

sorrows we’ve used to water

down apologies & goodnights

before the sun disappears,

maybe the heaviest things

you'll ever have to carry

are the parts of you that

are empty, I haven’t washed

the sunlight from my hands

since touching you - darling,

we will always be a little lost

until we find each other

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I was either lost trying to find you, or trying to find the reason I lost you in the first place. Nostalgia convinces me you were better than you were and everytime I have to allow you to disappoint me to remember the reason I left.

It is not that I dont love you, but isn’t it during the New Year where we promise to give up bad habits that we will typically come back to? So let’s play a game of hide and seek and I will pretend that you no longer have a place in my heart until nostalgia makes me stumble upon you once more.

Happy New Year,.. but let’s not pretend we magically became more than what we were because of it.

You are the words I have been searching for, the stairway that unwraps each breath with another muffled wish. There are many ways to leave someone, many ways to promise your heart it’ll wear a new that doesn’t cut through its tongue on its walls again.

I fall in love with people who are all the universes I don’t know how to be, and though I don’t mind the passing of time, I mind it passing without you.

Somewhere along the way I became good at holding things without touching them, and when you start to miss me, just remember, I’m only as far away as you pushed me. I survived you, even though I wasn’t planning on it.

Collaboration with Myself (Normal) and @teacup13 (italics)

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