Fictober23 day 31: "It's not your fault."
(Original fiction. Continuation from the events of day 30)
Sarah had been talking to that grave for hours. It was a lot of life updates she wanted to talk about. Unlike most who talk to graves, she knows where the messages are sent. Her dad does hear what she says. Even if she can never see his spirit in the heavens.
"Ok, guess it's time to go. I have one last place to visit, but I'll update you later Dad."
I always hate this next part. Ironic...it’s just memories. Memories that taught me to hate in the first place.
The redhead just followed her. Ready to give support on the next leg of the journey. First they visited the town. It's changed again. Now it's more like a rustic town on the fringes of England. She could smile at this visit.
A place that grew and evolved. Despite the horrors of the past.
She continued to walk until she found the hill where her house used to be located. For some reason, no one changed anything with it. A lot of the burnt wood has been stolen over the years. Plants have overgrown the area, but this was the place where she used to live those peaceful days.
Sarah just sits a box down in the middle of the foundation and walks away.
"Are you sure you're ok?" Aki just looks at her with those big puppy eyes.
Sarah sighs. "I'm fine. There are only really good memories of this place. I promise you that."
It was the next place that was harder. It was an abandoned complex. Some people believe it's left over from one of the old wars. Sarah knows better. It's where hunters took whatever wasn't human to them. The place where others like her went through hell.
Where she went through hell. The kind of hell that teaches a pure soul how to hate, how to hurt, and how to kill.
She just sinks into the snow to watch the building as the memories play in her head. Aki already has an arm wrapped around her. “There has got to be something wrong with me to keep wanting to come back here.”
“You're still the strongest person I know."
Sarah just looked at Aki almost terrified. "How is this strong? I come back here every time we visit this country to torture myself on what made me this. I wasn't capable to fight or be mad at anyone before this place. Hate is a poison but it was that hate that made me survive. It's how I lived to meet you."
I have changed again since then. If I lose what it's like to hate or be mad. Then I'm going to lose what keeps what I care about safe.
"Pain wasn't what made you. Love made you who you are." Aki just pressed her forehead to the Nephilim. "You love so much that it killed you inside when it was taken. You broke out your human side because you loved life so much you just didn't want to lose it."
Sarah just closed her eyes and took in her partner's presence. "You tell that to your angelic brethren next time they evaluate how much danger my existence put things in."
I was conceived out of love. That same love is why people die. Why I'm constantly told I should even be alive?
"It's not your fault. Not all of them up there think that. You should have been something to be celebrated. I know I do. Every day since I first met you." Aki just looks at her with those eyes. The eyes that only gave love and adoration.
Sarah just finally smiles. The memories of the past can't find her with this woman by her side. "Who am I to argue with you when you make that face."
Once again she shatters any doubt I’ve ever had. No wonder I fell in love with her.